The Moment I Almost Gave Up On Creating What Was For Me…

When we opt out of urgency, we create space for something I call the sacred third (you can see mine in a before and after at the bottom of this blog).

It’s the moment when you’re no longer swinging between “I must have this right now” or “I can never have this, forget it.”

It’s the place between extremes where creativity, clarity, and new possibilities live.

I’ll tell you a little story.

Not long ago, my dear friend and brilliant business woman looked me in the eye and said gently and with great clarity:

"You need to move your office out of your bedroom."

I knew she was right.

In fact I was excited to have her name it.
I’d thought about it before, half-tried, and I’d given up.

Her direct, loving reflection reinvigorated me.

 Suddenly I was online, researching cute sheds with the perfect lighting, dreaming about enough space to stretch and record podcasts.

I checked my business account—
I could afford it!

And then my brain did what brains do.

Wait…. I’ll need to:
Run electric to the shed, wifi, put in insulation, and a heat pump.
Possibly a septic system.

Then my husband added:
Where would it go on the property that we’d both agree on?
Once you pay for this, what’s left for the business for the launch costs? 

Balloon officially deflated.

In an instant, it was feeling pouty and had all or nothing visions of either staying in a space that was not a great fit for my business— my bedroom, or launch into a massive, pricy, complicated project.

A long time ago, I decided our home office was off limits.
It had turned into a music room, Steve’s back up computer, and a catch-all mess accumulator. It was too close to the kitchen—where the kids would inevitably find me.

I gave myself a day to feel bad for myself.

The next day, practicing my own work, I did some nervous system regulation work and then asked:

Are these understandings really true?
Is there any wiggle room in this story? Even 1%.

I started getting curious.

I circled back to the dump of a room in our house. It is the room we drop all the things we haven't taken time to sort out. Symbolic? 

Ok- This is embracing… Blaah, but I'm going to show you the before:

Steve offered to move his home computer. Which clearly is hardly ever used.
I found a new spot for Sophia’s piano.
I cleared and sorted almost all of the “stuff.”
I fixed the lighting.

I set boundaries on the space with the kiddos, and with myself around my work hours (which is something I needed anyway!).

In just one day, what had felt either/or became something that surprised and delighted me.

I freaking LOVE my new space!

This may sound small. It might even sound obvious to you.  But while in urgency, most sacred thirds hide away while being in plain site.

How often do we decide,
"I can’t have this because…”
and shut down any other possibility?

Or decide,
“I have to have this NOW,”
and push so hard that it becomes overwhelming and unsustainable?

Opting out of urgency doesn’t mean you stop dreaming.

It means you build the muscle to pause, breathe, feel, resource your nervous system, and look again. You choose while regulated instead of reacting out of survival, feel instead of numb (honoring that at some points in life, numbing is life saving), and find nuance where there was only default. 

I still dream into my forest office, but this new reality is just right for this moment. 

Moving from confusion to small steps in the right direction.

I wonder if there’s something in your life right now that feels like an all-or-nothing? A decision you closed the door on because it felt impossible? A desire you’ve been trying to force before it was ready?

If you’re curious to explore this further, you can learn more here:

With curiosity and care,

Sarah Tacy