035 - Sonnet Simmons: The Gift of Showing Up For Yourself
Welcome to another episode of Threshold Moments. Today, I’m excited to be in conversation with singer and songwriter Sonnet Simmons.
Together, we delve into the threshold moments that have defined Sonnet Simmon’s life. From her upbringing in a cult in Athens, Greece to discovering her true passion for music, she has always used songwriting as a form of self-expression and empowerment. She’s also experienced the profound transformation of becoming a mother and is now a parenting coach, guiding others on their own parenting path.
Join us for a powerful conversation, where we discuss:
Discovering her true voice as an artist through songwriting
Demonstrating self love, forgiveness & boundaries for her daughters
The songwriting process of Sonnet’s new single ”Bang Bang"
The layers & connections that emerge during the creative process
Ways to support independent music artists
Connect with Sarah
Connect with Sonnet
Episode Transcript
Sarah Tacy [00:00:05]
Hello welcome, I'm Sarah Tacy and this is Threshold Moments, the podcast where guests and I share stories about the process of updating into truer versions of ourselves. The path is unknown and the pull feels real. Together we share our grief, laughter, love and life saving tools. Join us. Hello and welcome to Threshold Moments.
Sarah Tacy [00:00:39]
Today we have Sonnet Simmons. Sonnet is somebody that I met in LA last year when I went to Kathy Heller's to dive deeper into the idea of hosting my own podcast. Sonnet sat next to me on the couch and at the end of the retreat, Kathy asked her if she would sing us a song. She and Kathy are dear friends with a long history. So Kathy knew of Sonnet's singing past and her current skills.
Sarah Tacy [00:01:10]
And she sang Somewhere Over the Rainbow and I came to tears. I had full body chills and I've been following Sonnet since. As she has reemerged bringing her own music back into the world, she has had success as a musician, as a songwriter, as somebody who is actually guiding parents to become more attuned humans and parents. And so in this next phase, it's letting go of all of the should and claiming the truth of who she is now and everything that she's learned from the path from being an occult as a child to escaping to being the perfect singer and the perfect performer and the good girl, to the mother. And now in that reclamation of self, to be the best mother, to actually claim self, to have boundaries, to let people be upset. She's come out with six new songs. The first one just released. It's more of a rally cry. It's more of a fun one that you might jump up and down to. And the future ones coming up are going to have a full range about this.
Sarah Tacy [00:02:21]
What I would say would be a perfect range of songs for the threshold of life, the threshold of living life. I hope you enjoy as much as I enjoyed this conversation. We'll see you on the other side. Welcome to Threshold Moments. This is a podcast in which we talk to people about moments in which they've felt a pull towards something that feels real and possibly unknown on the other side, and that things often unravel in the process of their own liberation.
Sarah Tacy [00:03:07]
And we like to hear about the health and the freedom on the other side as well. And so today we have with us Sonnet Simmons. And I'm going to read her bio as I understand it. And at any point you can jump in if there's an update or something that feels more accurate, and then we'll get going. Sonnet Simmons. Sonnet, her given name, which was just incredible that your mom would know right off the bat that you would be possibly a singer-songwriter. She was born in Athens, Greece. Sonnet was raised in a cult up until the age of 5 when she, her sister and her mother escaped. She grew up in LA and got an opera scholarship to UCLA where she also studied jazz and pop. Songwriting was the missing link in discovering her true voice as an artist.
Sarah Tacy [00:04:06]
You've heard her songs and ads like Coca-Cola, Volkswagen, GoDaddy, Reebok, Nike, T-Mobile, Starbucks, and shows like Younger, Riverdale and Katy Keene. She garnered the love of America as a top contestant on AB CS Rising Star. She captivated her audience with her soulful, unworldly voice and clever, thought provoking lyrics. With her success in songwriting, Sonnet has gone on to build a successful career coaching others who are looking to do the same. Becoming a mother was a huge threshold for Sonnet, a place in which she had and has the opportunity to give her daughters the most attuned loving care that she was not given as a young one. This quest has LED her to deep self discovery, becoming a parent coach and Co founding an online toddler parenting program which has over 100,000 people. Sonnet has never left music, but she has returned to bring her own voice back in her new single Bang Bang, which was just released. And you can listen to it on I Listen on Spotify, but I assume it's everywhere. Bang Bang is a rally cry. That you wrote this as a permission slip for all women to stand comfortably in their skin, speak their truth and live untamed and unstoppable lives. Welcome.
Sonnet Simmons [00:05:49]
Oh my gosh, wow, you did a lot of work. That's a couple of different BIOS from different places you piece together.
Sarah Tacy [00:05:57]
I love the preparation.
Sonnet Simmons [00:05:59]
Wow. Yeah, it's amazing. Well, thank you. It brings tears to my eyes.
Sarah Tacy [00:06:05]
Me too hear.
Sonnet Simmons [00:06:06]
Somebody reflect that back to you
Sarah Tacy [00:06:09]
Yeah, what part moves you the most?
Sonnet Simmons [00:06:12]
Goodness, there were a couple of moments, I guess just, you know, she was born in Athens, like in a cult. That one kind of like a RE has like re come up for me in my life and just what I wrote Bang Bang about, you know, coming back to music and what I want for my daughters and how true that is. You know, it's like you write it down for a bio, but it's so this is so true. It's just like the honest truth and I want to keep working towards that. You know, we're never at that finish line.
Sarah Tacy [00:06:47]
When I first read 1 of your BIOS, I think maybe it was for the rising stars and it opened with the cult piece. And I was unsure if I was going to put it in the bio for this because I thought, oh, maybe they're using that as like a catch. And maybe it wouldn't feel so good to have me read that. And then I read it on your web page as well and how you were in the process of owning and perhaps reclaiming that part of your life. And so it felt like it was in alignment with your intention.
Sarah Tacy [00:07:29]
Well, first, if there's anything like a small dual of peace without jumping like right into it, but is there anything you remember about that time? Like do you have memories or is it more just that now you can say I understand that that type of life had an effect of people pleasing on me.
Sonnet Simmons [00:07:52]
Both. Both are true. I can remember leaving, I can remember some situations that no child should be in, and I remember, I think mostly just growing up with a mom who is recovering from being in a cult for 10 years, a single mom. So I think that probably was the most profound.
Sarah Tacy [00:08:15]
Effect. Yeah, that makes sense. So when you leave from Athens, you come to LA do you remember what that transition was like for you? Even like the cultural transition or how you learn to show up in the world.
Sonnet Simmons [00:08:39]
Well, we, we were actually in India because we moved around quite a bit. So we came from India and I remember we went to live with my grandma and she was wonderful. Just this like glamorous, wonderful woman who lived on Sunset Blvd. And just like I was like, I'm home. Like here I am like, so, you know, like it was it was like both, you know, having a single mom who was crying a lot in mourning, leaving her two sons.
Sonnet Simmons [00:09:10]
So she left my brothers in the cult and I just never could take that in as a child. But as a mom now, of course, like she was really a mess for a long time. And I mean in the, in the most graceful way, a mess, you know, just really mourning that while trying to move on with her life and like give a life to her two daughters and like heal herself while raising children. I get that mountain to climb. But I was young. I mean, I, I kind of, I acclimated quickly to school and I always had music. So I was the singer in school. And like, that was my thing. And we moved schools. We moved a lot. And my mom, yeah, we, we just, there was a lot of motion in my childhood and I just always landed on my feet because I was good, nice and. And the singer?
Sarah Tacy [00:10:05]
So it sounds also like when everything was constantly moving, one of the things that was constant was your music.
Sonnet Simmons [00:10:12]
Yes, 100%. And there was no doubt in my mind that was what I was going to do with my life from the beginning, you know, of time. And it was, yeah, it was the constant. I also got accolades for it. You know, I got that like, safety, like, oh, you're, you're in the light.
Sonnet Simmons [00:10:34]
Like you're, you're good. Like, no matter what new school I went to, I found a group right away that way. And there wasn't like a lot of stamina or, you know, my mom didn't have a, a large threshold for more on her plate. So, you know, I really was very good and just found solace in music.
Sarah Tacy [00:10:56]
And so when you became a mother, can you tell me what it was that you wanted to do differently? I'm kind of, I'm like sitting here with two things. There's one part that wants to reflect that I have so much privilege, meaning I have two parents who live close enough. They're not here a lot to help with the kids, but they're close enough I have a present husband. We now have some childcare support and motherhood took me out.
Sarah Tacy [00:11:31]
And so when I hear you saying your mother cried a lot and we had a loss of a pregnancy and I and there's just like all these things about becoming a mother where there can be loss of identity, loss of a child you wanted to have but couldn't have a child you did have that didn't stay like there's so many layers that makes becoming a mother so challenging, especially if you want to keep any part of yourself alive because our society is really not set up to be supportive. I would say like supportive of the mothers and children. And it's kind of like all on one person. So adding the layers of what your mother was going through, in some ways it's just like quite miraculous that that there was survival. And what a yeah, I'm going to say like, what a blessing that you have your voice, that it gave you some solace and that, yes, like being a good girl and not rocking the boat because the boat cannot be rocked anymore.
Sarah Tacy [00:12:38]
And you have your voice to fall. I don't know if they fall onto or into, but that that gave you a safe place to land. And then I'm going to say knowing the effects of when you're good at something and you practice it and then people tell you you're good, a lot of worth and value can be wound up in that. So I'm just seeing as both like you're saving grace, but also that like an entire identity and lifeline could get wound up in that.
Sonnet Simmons [00:13:17]
Yeah, I mean, you're so in it. Yeah, exactly. I think when I turned 30, what I was doing was everything I thought I was should be doing. And I was led towards a life of stardom. That's why I was given this voice. And when I turned 30, I was like, I'm. I didn't make it. And like the world just crashed for me. It just that was it. Like, who am I to like?
Sonnet Simmons [00:13:41]
It was so I felt so abandoned by music. I felt and that, you know, society says 30, says 23 or two. You know, at least that was the story back then. It's certainly changed a lot since then. But that identity that you talk about was so wrapped in there, I really didn't know what to hold on to.
Sonnet Simmons [00:14:03]
If that wasn't going to work out for me and if I wasn't going to be famous, if I wasn't going to, like, have this glamorous life, then there was nothing else. And it took me a long time. Like it was so painful to sing. It was just painful. Like I think back at how like I did therapy and hypnotherapy and all these things to try to release that pain and it just needed, it just was time.
Sonnet Simmons [00:14:31]
Like I had to walk through the fire to get to the other side where I am now where I can sing. And there's just not pain of like, but you failed me voice, but you failed me music, you know, where I could be like, no, like this is my journey. And it wasn't my voice or music that failed me. You know, I've, I wasn't taught the skills that really it takes to show up for yourself. And I really have those now.
Sonnet Simmons [00:14:59]
At least I can see them. Like I'm practicing them. And it takes a lot of work and effort and it's still uncomfortable to show up for myself. But I wasn't really doing that, you know, in my 20s. I wasn't pushing.
Sonnet Simmons [00:15:10]
I wasn't showing up for myself and my gift. I was like waiting for someone to discover me, you know, and being like, why don't you see me sort of thing. So that's my work now is a new record, showing up for myself, showing up on social media, showing up and telling people about this music and doing it because that's what I'm supposed to be doing. And with no expectation of the outcome. It's just this is the gift I was given and it's made to be shared and I feel good when I'm sharing it.
Sonnet Simmons [00:15:41]
And we're supposed to feel that alignment in ourselves. And from that, you know, I can show up as the mother I want to be. I can be the human in the relationships that I have that I want to be.
Sarah Tacy [00:15:53]
When you went on to Rising Stars, I listened to some of those performances and was blown away. And I also got to hear you sing at Kathy's. So I've heard you. And of course, I've listened to your latest song too, and I have felt in person the chills of being in the frequency of your gift. And I can get why.
Sarah Tacy [00:16:25]
Like I really get why. Especially like UCLA is full scholarship, you know? Like I really get why there would be 1 vision. And then what do we do when life doesn't turn out the way we were so sure it was going to turn out? So you said that you did hypnotherapy and therapy, but that walking through the fire was really the only way through. And could you describe a little bit more We, we are going to get to like the rise too, like you?
Sonnet Simmons [00:17:00]
Know, I mean all the **** it's so nice to talk about. You know, it's for years I haven't addressed any like talked about this like you. You're so right in saying that talking about the cult is in alignment because my life was Oh yeah, I was wondering a cult, but it's no big deal. Please don't feel sorry for me. Don't let don't make me take care of your feelings about my experience.
Sonnet Simmons [00:17:21]
So talking about that, sharing about that, like really examining that owning, I think becoming a mother is when I started really feeling the fire. You know, I felt the pain, but that's where I was like, it's time to walk, girl. You got to show up on the other side because you have two little girls that are watching you and what kind of women do you want them to be? You need to show up to be that woman. And I think that's when I started walking through it.
Sonnet Simmons [00:17:51]
And I'm still walking through it. You know, it, it looks different. You know, I still walk through it in terms of like just really striving to become the woman that I just wasn't given all the skills to be. And so and I don't think all any of us are, you know, it's like we have to show up for ourselves. We have to learn how to not abandon ourselves.
Sonnet Simmons [00:18:12]
And I think that was the biggest turning point of, like, turning it back on me and like, seeing all the ways in which I'd abandoned myself with an eating disorder, showing up in the hospital because I was just so, like, checked out for my life and my body. And like, God, it makes me cry for that girl to be so cruel to her. And I would never wish that for my children. So showing what self love looks like on the deepest level of being like, what do boundaries sound like? What is holding that boundary sound like?
Sonnet Simmons [00:18:42]
What is following through on that boundary feel like? And like that is such uncomfortable work for me. And showing up and also taking some accountability for where I not in like the bad way, but with grace and being like, yeah, you know, it's understandable. I didn't show up for myself like that. And I have more tools now.
Sonnet Simmons [00:19:07]
I have more motivation. It's painful. The boundary thing is, it's been big for me because I didn't grow up with them. Very uncomfortable to hold them. But that feels like the most loving thing you can do for yourself is to have boundaries.
Sarah Tacy [00:19:27]
And So what I hear is that as the mother, the two big practices that go hand in hand is not just doing all the mothering skills properly, but first demonstrating what self love looks like to yourself. What forgiveness looks like for yourself, what a redo looks like for yourself, what a boundary looks like for yourself. What a nervous system looks like when one when it's being real, not when it's being perfect when it's being real, but also if you were to tend to it. And that your children, I assume, can first learn. I just assume children in general first learn by example of the presence in the field of their parents and then by the skill sets that we try to impart onto them.
Sonnet Simmons [00:20:26]
Yes, yeah, I mean, they're still young, so I'm hoping they're getting it. But like any mom, I worry that you know my doing a good enough job and I just keep coming back to focus on yourself. Like obviously I'm very present for them as kids and their needs, but like the more whole and healed and present and strong I am, the more that that is reflected in them.
Sarah Tacy [00:20:51]
I sometimes feel in the parenting world, there are so many things that we can do to update our language, update the way we interact with our children, that we're never on the table for our parents or the generations before. So there's a lot of relearning of things that just weren't ever mentioned before. And I think that there can be a fine line between getting stuck in perfectionism as a parent and showing our children some balance between our effort and our humanity. So that makes sense because like, music can be, I guess I'm saying on both sides of everything, like music can be liberating. And there could be so much intense study of like what good music is, how it should be performed. So and then like parenting too can be doing it all right. But then actually, what happens to a nervous system where that's trying so hard to do it right and the kids actually learning from your nervous system more than the words? Do you know 100%?
Sarah Tacy [00:22:04]
And all of this pulls back to your song. Like I want to say all this pulls back to the song Bang Bang, which is about leaving this people teasing. But it's, I just want to say it's like woven into so many parts of our life in so many roles that we're in that to leave people pleasing behind really touches upon potentially every aspect of our lives.
Sonnet Simmons [00:22:30]
Certainly like without a doubt. And it, it comes up to surprise me sometimes. I was like, OK, with this person. I've got people pleasing like, I'm not going to do it. And then you turn around and you're like, Oh my gosh, I just did it with this, with this other situation.
Sonnet Simmons [00:22:43]
Like, you know, you don't, you're like it, it can just, it's insidious and it's because it's a, it's like a core for me. You know, it's like a core thing of just like it's so uncomfortable to make somebody else uncomfortable by my needs. And so I'm like, oh, is that, you know, I used to maybe now it's, it's a lot less so. But I used, is that like, OK, to say that like, I guess that was a bad boundary because they're uncomfortable and upset and mad. And that's not, you know, I thought never to do that. So now it's like, oh, OK, I don't care if you're mad. You're allowed to be upset. Extend that to my children. You're allowed to be upset. This is still my boundary.
Sonnet Simmons [00:23:24]
And that's just like what it is. And it feels you start to grow roots. And so I think when it's like walking through that fire and you, it starts to lessen as you really start to grow those roots and be like here I am, here I am in my body, I'm present. I'm present in, you know, and I still catch myself kind of like, whoop, where'd you go? Come back.
Sonnet Simmons [00:23:52]
Like, you know, stay present here for this life, for this moment, you know, where you can just kind of go into autopilot or go into like old patterns or reacting rather than like responding to something. It's such. But like, what's the point if we're not? We're not constantly doing it if, you know, if we're not in that work. But yeah, it's everywhere. People breathing.
Sarah Tacy [00:24:14]
I just released a podcast October 2nd, so that's the day before we're talking today on the 3rd. But ours, this podcast will come out two weeks from now, but there was a podcast on moving from familiar to optimal and the tension field in between and what happens to our actual cells when we're updating patterns. And another one that I did on interdependence, like when we were trying to become more of our sovereign selves and we set a boundary or we pause enough to notice that we have a preference and the preference is isn't what we're used to doing. And then when we share our preference with a person who's used to us doing the thing that's easiest for them, being able to sit with that discomfort because what is happening at the cellular level is the feeling of abandonment. Like literally your cell is not receiving the connection.
Sarah Tacy [00:25:17]
It's used to receiving to feel safe and met. And so when we're updating a pattern, we are updating it on a cellular level and we have to sit in the tension field until we eventually overtime get a match of we will get a match of way to hold that boundary. Like it'll feel good and possibly maybe forever, maybe forever. I just I'm dreaming into it. Maybe someday it'll feel good to set a boundary and you see someone like, cool.
Sonnet Simmons [00:25:48]
Yeah, I mean, I see people who do it.
Sarah Tacy [00:25:51]
Yeah, there are some people.
Sonnet Simmons [00:25:52]
Who are really are just like it didn't faze them. That's my boundary. Like they don't even take it in. My sister's really great at that. And she, you know, grew up. She didn't have that same like walk into a room, know how everybody's feeling, make sure everybody's good. Like take the temperature. If everybody's like breathing or they shallow or, you know, she's just like, no, I didn't even notice they were upset.
Sarah Tacy [00:26:15]
Oh, that's so interesting. She's.
Sonnet Simmons [00:26:17]
My little sister and that was just like depending on where you are in the birth order and what was coming at you.
Sarah Tacy [00:26:26]
What? And I just think what roles we take on, I can imagine birth order is huge and I could imagine that there could be a case where an older sibling could check out, then the younger 1 is going to take it on as like, absolutely, they're not paying attention and they're not paying attention. Then like just in every group, whether it's 20 people or three people, certain roles always have to be accounted for. And so you were the one who was hyper aware for the sake of everyone's safety and survival. And then your little sister can not worry about it.
Sarah Tacy [00:27:00]
I see it especially with men. And not to like, create a bigger binary, but I do think in society, it's like if they say, no, I'm not available for that, I don't think there's like a big story behind it. Like I need to go take care of this need. And it's just like my husband, when he has a need he needs to take care of, he's just so crystal clear that that is the need he needs to take care of. And I would be like, if it were me, how is this?
Sarah Tacy [00:27:29]
It's not that he doesn't think how is this going to impact the family, but I feel like I would have so many more worries about like, is everyone going to be OK with this if I take care of this thing first? Like I really need to take care of this primary need and I believe everyone will be able to rise up to like meet the moment. So in my dynamic, I can see it. I feel like my husband's really good at boundaries and it's such a growth edge for me.
Sonnet Simmons [00:27:54]
Yeah, that's so interesting to bring it back to that feeling of that like on a cellular level, we're feeling abandoned because that like good response is what made us know we were safe. And so when we can say, oh, you are safe like that, that when we don't abandoned ourselves and we're not looking for that outside person to validate that like even though it's uncomfortable, we get to sit there and say, all right, doesn't matter. Like I literally talked myself through it. You know, it's OK that they're upset. I'm safe, I'm here.
Sonnet Simmons [00:28:26]
Like I can trust myself, like trust that this is my need and it's valid need. And or like that way of talking wasn't OK with me and like I don't have to be OK with it. I can hold that that I can trust myself and saying that that's not OK. And that is part of that. Like, I mean, self love is just so overused.
Sonnet Simmons [00:28:46]
I didn't even know I was going to use that word because it feels more like, it's more about like the abandonment, like, you know, you really have got your own back like, and that when you have had a lifetime of not doing that, that's a definitely a growth experience. But that's where we really get to kind of like reprogram those cells to get that.
Sarah Tacy [00:29:08]
I'm going to say one more thing on this and then I want to like really get into your song, which I think we kind of are. I think we're touching.
Sonnet Simmons [00:29:14]
On that, Oh my God.
Sarah Tacy [00:29:18]
So I just, you said something and it like got me excited inside. And I do think that we are people who are in an ecosystem. So I understand that there are times that we that it's important that we get things from the outside, you know, because I can go into the spiritual realm of like, I shouldn't, it shouldn't matter. I should be able to just like find everything in myself. I want to honor that we are creatures that desire belonging and that what we get from the outside also matters.
Sarah Tacy [00:29:50]
And the work of Candace Pert who helped us see that the brain is non local, that we have all these receptor cells all throughout the body and these ligands that are actually like emotional emotions are connecting all throughout the body into our cells. She went in and she talked to a group of women who are heroin addicts and said when you get this drug from the outside, your inside stops making it. But after you get through the withdrawal, which is like that abandonment of the thing that felt so good, that thing that made you feel safe, that thing that made you actually feel like you want to be on earth for a little bit. If you go through that tension field, through that withdrawal phase, then your body will start to make it on its own. And so as you were saying this about boundaries and that feeling of abandonment, it's the difference from getting the drug from the outside, an outside person verse like you're adults meeting your inner child.
Sarah Tacy [00:30:49]
And so I was just really seeing that and feeling that I don't know for the first time or just in like an amplified way of the way when we meet ourselves, it is helping our inner pharmacy to get more whole and move closer to blueprint without it being as dependent on the outside.
Sonnet Simmons [00:31:10]
Oh, I love that so much. Yes. And we are creatures of belonging, but belonging to for which purpose and reason and which group, you know, the group that sees you and takes you as you are like your full expression of yourself. And it's part of like our job is to allow for that so that we can be in relation on such a high level with other people who can really allow for the US to be that and hold that space and we can hold that for them. And I think when we're less than that, that's what we bring into our lives. You know, I've certainly experienced that. And you look and you're like, oh, I see, I've tracked attracted this. This is where I was willing to show up for myself or what I was willing to show of myself to the world.
Sarah Tacy [00:31:57]
That's so beautiful, thank you for adding that element. I know Brené Brown has some quote about when we fit in. It's the opposite of belonging. That belonging is belonging to ourselves. And then I'll just add from there, it's like who? Who do we attract to ourselves when we belong to ourselves, so that we can have that inner and outer harmony right of making the right of making the fits that are for like the highest vibration of our cells and our beings and our blueprints?
Sonnet Simmons [00:32:28]
Yeah, that's it. I mean, we you start to crave it. I think, you know, when you're just like really doing that was so connected to yourself and doing that inner work. You're like craving that community with others who can like this conversation. It's so giving, it's so beautiful.
Sonnet Simmons [00:32:47]
It just, I love hearing to you, hearing you speak and articulate and it's, you know, it fills your cups And that's part of us allowing, allowing ourselves to be seen so that we can meet in the middle.
Sarah Tacy [00:32:59]
Yeah, I have the beginning of the lyrics of your song.
Sonnet Simmons [00:33:07]
Yeah.
Sarah Tacy [00:33:08]
Which of course, I could just ask you to say I'm tired of being so nice. I'm tired of being so good. I'm tired of being so polite just so everyone else can feel so damn good. Where were you when you wrote that?
Sonnet Simmons [00:33:27]
Actually, just a few months ago, I was, this is like a throwaway song. I was kind of like, I don't know what to write about. And then I just sat down and I was like, what do you have to say? And I was like, I'm ****** tired. Like I'm just, I'm tired of thinking about what would this song be good for this or like reaching this audience or what if this person here like all the things as it particularly pertain to this, but of course it applies to their world at large and our whole life.
Sonnet Simmons [00:33:59]
And I just was like, this is the story. This is this is truly like I wrote it as it came through because artworks like that, at least for me, where it's like you don't really know what you're saying till you say it. And then you look back and you're like, oh, yeah, I said that. Like, you know, I wasn't trying to overthink it. It was just more like, I was just this is what came out.
Sonnet Simmons [00:34:22]
And then as I look back and as I look back and was like, OK, what's the story behind this? I was like, oh, this is the place you're at, obviously. But I can I can look back into the people pleasing and I can bring forth the stories of the cult and I can really show up on a real exposed level through this song. That felt like, I don't know what to write about this song. It was such a throwaway moment.
Sonnet Simmons [00:34:48]
And then to like, let this download be what it was. And it just felt like a little window into the work of sharing who I really am, showing up really as who I am, and being like I'm here and this is what I have to say.
Sarah Tacy [00:35:04]
So what lines follow? So you're saying here's what I'm tired of? What follows that like when you said it's a rally call. So what's on the other side of being so damn good?
Sonnet Simmons [00:35:18]
I don't know if that's in this song. The song's called Bang Bang. Yeah. Next song there's a whole EP you got to listen to the next one to find out what's on the other side. No, the song is called Bang Bang.
Sonnet Simmons [00:35:30]
And it's cheeky. You know, it's kind of fun and it's the deepest that the lyrics get her in the verse and the and the pre chorus and the chorus gets really kind of just like cheeky and fun. And it's called Bang Bang. I'm coming for you singing, blinging right on through. Just, you know, it's fun.
Sonnet Simmons [00:35:46]
And it's not that one's just like you can interpret that as you like. I put it out to Instagram. I was like, how do you interpret this bang, bang? Because some people were like, Oh my gosh, you know, what about gun control? And then somebody like, what about the sexual connotation of the bad?
Sonnet Simmons [00:35:58]
And like, I was like, I don't know, like I can't give a damn about all the things that you guys are going to be. And for me, it's just like a like AFU, like I'm coming, like I'm coming through. I'm like coming through bright and shiny and glitzy and glammy and like, you know, the stories, putting it all on the table. Like I'm just not hiding anymore. And I don't care if it makes you uncomfortable.
Sonnet Simmons [00:36:20]
And I don't care if it's hard to say or do because this is, you know, what else are we doing if it, if it doesn't take the work to, to get there. So that's what it means to me. But, you know, everybody can have their own interpretation of it and I don't care.
Sarah Tacy [00:36:34]
I love that. I mean, this is the ultimate practice to, you know, to write a song and then put it out and say, like, I'm putting it out because this is what I'm here to do in this life. And this is really like when I think about walking through fire is to like put oneself out and the world may take it or not take it, but you still come out with your gifts and you just keep showing up. I love it. And I can imagine people like when they're just getting pumped up in the morning or ready to go for some something to turn the song on and just like jump up and down and get that energy going and change the state.
Sarah Tacy [00:37:12]
Because if you know, there's a whole another way I can imagine that a song could be written of I'm tired of being so like it could be slow. It could be like sad, but when it's written cheeky and fun, then that is like the changing your state from the slow sad to like, I'm ready for change. Like this is happening. I see and feel the sad. I've done that.
[00:37:38] And now in all chemical alignment, we talked about the five point sequence like preparation, beginning, middle and integration. And I can imagine this song, like the beginning, like the preparation might just be the, the awakening and the realization that I'm ******* tired of this. And like, and the beginning being the declaration of I'm coming through and I'm even wondering like I'm coming for you. It's so interesting because like I said, people could interpret that as anything. It could be like a fight message, but it could also just be like, I know this is art.
Sarah Tacy [00:38:16]
So it's like that interpretation. Like for me, it could be like I'm coming for myself. Like I'm going to go back and get that one that I left behind. I'm going to come back for the one who is powerful. I'm going to come back for the one.
Sarah Tacy [00:38:27]
I think maybe I'll use the word like abandoned, but I've used that in my own threshold story of like waking up one day and looking in the mirror and be like, where did I go? And I, I built this life and having to go back and look at like where I've abandoned myself, where it's nobody else's fault. And just kind of that familiar thing that worked for me in the past that suddenly to wake up and go like, so I can also just imagine like coming for you and that that might be like, I'm going to come back for myself. I.
Sonnet Simmons [00:38:58]
So love that.
[00:39:00]
I'm up and down to that.
Sonnet Simmons [00:39:02]
Yes, yes.
Sarah Tacy [00:39:08]
If you're curious about somatic exploration or nervous system support, you can check out the link below to make a connection call. If you're feeling serious about it or truly curious, you can do a one off session. And because this work, especially in relationship to the nervous system, is small doable pieces over time, I would consider thinking about a one month, 2 month, or three month period of time that you might dedicate towards nervous system support. Again, you can start with a smaller step of a connection. Call if it's calling you.
Sonnet Simmons [00:39:58]
Funny, I was like I had set a boundary the other day. It was feeling very uncomfortable. And it was like, you know, there was a little bit of discord happening in my house and I had to go pick up the girls in the car and I was just like blasted that song. And I was like, oh, it like takes on a whole another level where because you're like, let them laugh, let them talk. Like, let them say that I'm too much, you know, like about the needs that you say or whatever it is.
Sonnet Simmons [00:40:21] And I just felt like it's, it was also such a like a reminder, reminder of like, yeah, like I can, these are all the things that I don't have to care about anymore that I can really show up for. And like, I love the coming for you because it's definitely not like we have vengeance on somebody else for causing this within our lives. It's more like, I love that coming, coming for yourself. Like, I'm coming. And we are shining bright and we are blinging.
Sarah Tacy [00:40:52]
I'm just having this image so this could be for me. I was just talking about it for me, but I was thinking about your life story that you shared a little bit about, and I'm thinking about the way that you parent your girls and about kind of the way and then this is coming to like the way that you re parent yourself when you said I speak out loud to myself. And so again, I am imagining like the adult self saying to your little one, like I'm coming for you. I'm just going to I'm going to be the one to make it like mental. It's like I love.
Sonnet Simmons [00:41:25]
It yes.
Sarah Tacy [00:41:26]
Ali's song. And it's like, you know, I feel like there is almost like yelling at the top of the chorus. And I'm like and then you come back for your inner child.
Sonnet Simmons [00:41:35]
Oh my gosh, I'm totally going to do a TikTok about this.
Sarah Tacy [00:41:39]
I love it I.
Sonnet Simmons [00:41:41]
Think that's what I was trying to articulate and I didn't do it very well of like it comes through you and then you get to see like the layers in which like that was, you know, that is obviously a part of this is coming back for yourself. Like I haven't articulated that to that extent, but if that is, you know, that is one of the layers here. And it's so interesting how the creative process works. Like you just kind of put pen to paper or you start to sing or you close your eyes or whatever your creative platform is and you don't understand all the pieces of it. Like you get to go back and be like, Oh yeah. Like guess this ties into my story in this way, but I really love that diving deep into that part, it makes it makes sense in a whole another way for me.
Sarah Tacy [00:42:28]
When we first stepped on, it was before the interview started, you were talking about where you've moved to. You were in LA before and you've moved and that the dress is less like glam. And I'm just kind of hearing this word a few times because you really lit up when you said how glamorous your grandmother was. And you mentioned that as like, I'm coming for you. Like somewhere in there that there was something about like glitz.
Sarah Tacy [00:42:54]
And right before this podcast interview, I interviewed Sarah Jenks and hers is coming out on the 31st for which season. And she helped me because I was saying to her, I don't know, like whenever I'm around you, like I, I live in Maine, so I wear like really like witchy, like flowy, down to earth things. And I'm like, and I get around you and I'm just like in gold and glitters and glitter. And I was like heels. And I was like, I don't know what it is, but I like, really like it.
Sarah Tacy [00:43:21]
And she was talking about Halloween and how when we dress up like there's a shadow side where we didn't think like we could be that sexy, like how often things are turned into like sexy Bunny sexy. This, it's like these Parsetta repressed that for like a night. Think they can come out and like, how do we integrate that into our life? And she's like, we're, you know, we're just supposed to have this range that women have, a range that they don't just fit into this one thing that they have a range that one day you might be. I almost had dungarees. My dad calls jeans dungarees. Some days you're in. Your dungarees and.
Sarah Tacy [00:43:51]
And another day you're in your sparkly, sexy, tight dress out in the city. And that we get to have it all and we get to be it all. And I don't want to project this project this on to you. When I when I've heard Bang Bang and I've listened to your story, there's a part of me and I've heard you sing other songs too. There's a part of me that can't wait to hear the full range of this experience.
Sarah Tacy [00:44:20]
I talked to Sarah about this too, about the coming out to your true self, how things die and how uncomfortable death can be. And you know when I heard when I heard you sing Wicked Games, right? It's just such a different sound and I love that you can have the Bang Bang and the Wicked Games and I heard you sing Somewhere Over the Rainbow and they're all so different and so beautiful. And I'm imagining if you have an, I don't actually know what EP for an EP album stands for, but I'm guessing it's a Story. Is it?
Sonnet Simmons [00:44:58]
It's just me. It's a collection of it's going to be 6 songs, so rather than like a record which might be like 9 or 10, it's a smaller record.
Sarah Tacy [00:45:06]
OK, a smaller record. So now I'm throwing my desires on to you, which you can throw out because you're not here to please me. Which is like, I'm so interested in the telling of this whole song. Like the telling of this whole peace in all the layers and in all the range that we find ourselves in as women from the ones who are out on town, like jumping up and down to the one who's by themselves feeling lost, to the one who's breaking a pattern. I'm just like super excited.
Sarah Tact [00:45:38]
You said in your bio that songwriting was what I hear is also a threshold to you, like an awakening of who you are. And so I'm so excited to hear more from you when you're ready.
Sonnet Simmons [00:45:49]
Oh, it's coming out next month. So I'm like, yeah, it's coming out next month. Not the whole EP. So they'll be dropping a single every six weeks because that's my, that's my work right now is like really showing up. And because, you know, you finish your record, you're like, OK, now I can go deeper.
Sonnet Simmons [00:46:05]
Like I'm like, OK, now it's time to yes, songwriting has been my voice. But like, you keep honing it, you know? So I've written 6 songs that are on this record. Every six weeks they'll be a new one. The one that comes out November 3rd is called What if the world goes Black and it's dark.
Sonnet Simmons [00:46:22]
And it's, it's, it's about that first moment that you realize, what if these are all mechanisms at play and these are not my real true self? And what if I let go of these mechanisms that I know to be who I am? What will be What if the world is black? Like what if I have nothing and the lyrics of the chorus are what will the world look like if I give up my name? What will the stars look like if I set them ablaze?
Sonnet Simmons [00:46:58]
What if I break down? If I undo? What if the world goes black? And it's the story, you know, before bang, bang. It's part of the story, but they only get deeper and deeper from here. Bang Bang was like the little kind of like fun piece to bring people in.
Sarah Tacy [00:47:14]
I love it. And there's part of me that like assumes this is known, but the fact that you're putting out a piece called What if the world turns black on in the period of Dia de Los Muertos? Is pretty awesome. I didn't.
Sonnet Simmons [00:47:31]
Even consider that. Thank you for putting together all the pieces of what I'm doing. You know, it's like we're moving so fast. I was just like, yeah, great. OK.
Sarah Tacy [00:47:40]
You know, it's, it's like it's a season for death. It's a season for death when you're letting go of everything. So this is Salwin and there we go. I'm just here to add content to your tik tok.
Sonnet Simmons [00:47:56]
Yeah, thank you. I never know what to write about so now just checking with you.
Sarah Tacy [00:48:02]
That's good because I just can't really do social. I try sometimes I'm like I can't do this.
Sonnet Simmons [00:48:08]
I know it is really I just am looking at it as an inner growth experience right now for me, you know, like how do I share but not over share but share enough but share to relate, share from a good place, share from a, you know, be seen, feel comfortable being seen.
Sarah Tacy [00:48:25]
I gave myself A1 week experiment. I think it was supposed to go on forever, but it ended at a week and it was what would it be like to post every day? And what I found was that for those who are posting every day for a business, there's a lot of growing up that has to happen. At least for me, there's a lot of growing up and apparently it's not sustainable for me. But it's like, you know, some people plan it out at the beginning of the week and they have each post and they've written it and it's like very on purpose and on point.
Sarah Tacy [00:49:00]
And then the other thing is that if I'm worried like the algorithms makes no sense to me. And if I'm worried about the number of people that like it and how that reflects on me. So what I was saying, one of the first things in the 21 days of untapped support that I have for the community, I think day 2 is orienting to your age. And so I would say I'm now 41, but when I did this, I was 40. I'm 40 years old.
Sarah Tacy [00:49:33]
And then immediately all of my fear of like nobody's noticed this thing. I put it out. Now I kind of look like a loser. Like all these stories that are actually so young kind of were just like, oh, no big deal. I'm 40 years old and I'm just putting out a piece to say a little thing that I'm thinking and to see what would happen if I tried like tried this on for my business and it really, really helped.
Sarah Tacy [00:50:02]
But for me, when I get a true poll, that's what gives me energy towards something. So having to use willpower to try on an experiment is not sustainable for me. But I was a learning curve of how much I would have to grow up if I were to ever start doing that.
Sonnet Simmons [00:50:23]
Yeah, I mean, you, you're so exquisite at articulating. Like you've articulated my story better than I have ever articulated it. Like you're so great at like finding the, the lines to bring it into like applicable knowledge and insight and also just like the feeling behind it all. So I feel like you could say 1 little thing every single day and it would be a breath of fresh air for people. So I, you know, I don't think that there's growing up, if I may be so bold as to say, I just think like you, you know, one sentence from you a day would be a gift for the world. Not that you need to post every day, because that's an exhausting.
Sarah Stacy [00:51:04]
Experience as soon as you said that I was like I would just need to find somebody who would be willing to go through these clips, right, like clips of things that have been made or news like who would actually want to go through and find one line that like suits something because I'm just like.
Sonnet Simmons [00:51:18]
No, I know, I know. There's not enough hours in the day for that, for everything. We got to prioritize.
Sarah Tacy [00:51:25]
Yes. And Speaking of prioritizing, thank you so much for prioritizing time to be here with me. Maybe I'll just say you and I met at Kathy Heller's last year, which was, you know, as something that was totally not expecting in my life. And you were such a beautiful presence to be around. And you added such just like a realness and a beauty to the container.
Sarah Tacy [00:51:53]
And it's been fun watching you. It's been fun seeing you come into yourself more and more, and I'm so excited for every six weeks a new song.
Sonnet Simmons [00:52:04]
I know, I know. So good, so high challenge.
Sarah Tacy [00:52:08]
People who are listening to this, they can clearly they can go on to a platform. So I use Spotify. So if I'm using Spotify, is there a way to kind of highlight you so that I'm aware when each one of your songs gets released?
Sonnet Simmons [00:52:22]
OK, yes, there's two things. One, you can go to my Instagram and like pre save. There's a link at the top to pre save the next single. So that is an incredibly important thing to help independent artists like get noticed by Spotify and then they put them on their playlist and then, you know, more people find our music. So pre saves are kind of annoying, but they seem to be like the way to get Spotify to notice you.
[00:52:46]
So you can spot find me on Instagram, Sonic music. You can also just go to Spotify or anywhere that you do listen to music and you can like the song, like heart the song, add it to your own playlist. You're like, you know, favorite songs I love to run to or morning, like prep songs, whatever. Add it to your playlist. That also really helps you know the world know that the song is being listened to and being liked. So those are kind of like actions one can take to support me or any independent artist really. Those are those apply to any artist.
Sarah Tacy [00:53:18]
Thank you so much. I am just going to repeat that to the listeners that if you appreciated a sonnet today and all that she shared and all that she stands for. Sounds like one of the best ways that we can support her as an independent artist is to take the little extra effort to follow her on Instagram. Go on to Spotify pre save. I'm repeating on purpose and it actually gives me extra motivation to know that we can be of help to help people who don't already have a ginormous platform when releasing songs.
Sarah Tacy [00:53:55] That's pretty exciting to me that we can help. I always like to think of the ways that we can vote in this world. And I know a lot of times we vote with our money, we vote with how we purchase. And so this is another way that we can vote for people stepping into the fullness of who they are. So thank you So.
Sonnet Simmons [00:54:10]
Much. Yeah. It's empowering. It's awesome. Thank you so much for having me on here, Sarah. You are a gift and a light. And this is conversation. Thank you for seeing me and like giving me the space to share.
Sarah Tacy [00:54:21]
Yeah, it's you're such a beautiful human to behold. So thank you for being who you are, with your boundaries, with stepping out, with stepping in. I'm so grateful for you. Thank you. Thank you.
Sarah Tacy [00:54:45]
Thank you for tuning in. It's been such a pleasure. If you're looking for added support, I'm offering a program that's totally free called 21 Days of Untapped Support. It's pretty awesome. It's very easy, it's very helpful.
Sarah Tacy [00:55:01] You can find it at sarahtacy.com. And if you love this episode, please subscribe. And like, apparently it's wildly useful. So we could just explore what happens when you Scroll down to the bottom subscribe rate, maybe say a thing or two. If you're not feeling it, don't do it. It's totally fine. I look forward to gathering with you again. Thank you so much.