082 - Andrea Isabelle Lucas: Owning Your Life Story
Welcome, dear listeners. This week on Threshold Moments, we’re welcoming entrepreneur, keynote speaker, feminist, coach, and author, Andrea Isabelle Lucas.
Andrea is devoted to helping women stand up for themselves and take radical responsibility for their own happiness. Her gift is knowing how to take the next best step, one step at a time. Today, she shares that gift with us.
Together we talk about how surviving domestic violence was the catalyst for Andrea for taking full ownership over her life and choices. We also discuss about micro-moments and why it’s key to honor even the smallest step forward.
Tune in to learn more about:
What it means to “own your life”
The importance of honoring what your nervous system can handle when setting goals
Why taking baby steps is an essential practice for making meaningful change
Embodied experiences and why it takes your whole system to achieve transformation
What it means to leave a legacy
Connect with Sarah:
Connect with Andrea:
Episode Transcript
Sarah Tacy [00:00:05]
Hello welcome, I'm Sarah Tacy and this is Threshold Moments, the podcast where guests and I share stories about the process of updating into truer versions of ourselves. The path is unknown and the pull feels real. Together we share our grief, laughter, love and life saving tools. Join us. Hello and welcome to Threshold Moments.
Sarah Tacy [00:00:40]
Today we have with us Andrea Isabel Lucas and you will hear in the intro I do when I'm with her all about her career and how impressive she is and you will get a feel for her beginnings. Maybe I would mention, so I read her book or listened to her book, Own It All and hearing that the beginnings were hard and that at 14, she ran away. At 19, becoming a Teen Mom and really taking her life into her own hands multiple times throughout her life and having one big point that really, really opened up her eyes to wanting to make even better decisions. And the way that I see it, the way that I read the book was that so many times she made the best decisions for the situation she was in and for the resources she had. And to me, it is so inspiring to see how making the next best step for yourself over and over and over again.
Sarah Tacy [00:01:53]
And of course, we can falter and of course, we can take a left turn, but redirecting ourselves onto that path over and over and over again, what a beautiful life we can end up living. And her life is filled with abundance and incredible friends and beautiful kids and strong relationships and a really, really successful business. So without further ado, I present to you Andrea Isabel Lucas. Hello and welcome to Threshold Moments. Today we have with us Andrea Isabel Lucas.
Sarah Tacy [00:02:38]
Andrea is an entrepreneur, A keynote speaker, author, feminist and life and business coach who is devoted to helping women stand up for themselves and take a radical responsibility for their own happiness. Andrea became a single mom at the Teen and rebuilt her life after surviving domestic violence to found the multi $1,000,000 Bar and Soul, the collection of boutique bar and yoga studios and the Bar and Soul Academy Instructor training program. As a speaker, she has addressed audiences across the United States and shared stages with Michelle Obama and Billie Jean King. I always feel like that needs a long pause just to, but that's OK. She is the author of the book Own It All and has been featured by the BBC, Forbes, Entrepreneur, Women's Health, The Huffington Post and Boston Magazine, among others.
Sarah Tacy [00:03:42]
So this conversation came about and that Andrea and I have been in similar circles for a while. We end up at pool parties together most recently and often amongst groups of entrepreneurial women. And I have never really gotten to know you. And you put up a post a month or two ago that really piqued my interest of like, wow, this woman has a life that has been so fully lived and who has walked through multiple thresholds. And I wonder if she would be so generous to share with us. And you said yes. And then it was like, by the way, I have this book and I downloaded it on Audible and it's so good.
Andrea Isabelle Lucas [00:04:42]
Thank you.
Sarah Tacy [00:04:43]
And so I feel like our conversation today will give a glimpse into you and your story, but also your book, because I think your book most likely really reflects so much of what you believe in and what your life journey has looked like. When I finished it, I had that feeling like, oh, this is a really great book to recommend to any of my friends. There are so many E parts in it, from the overall idea of owning your life to forgiveness, relationships, clarity and communication, business style, really it on all parts and social justice. So to have that as one of your biggest, I want to say, like purposes in life, driving forces. I think the word that you were using was legacy really has the book written in such a mindful way. So that's my little, I don't want to say my plug for your book, but my appreciation as I just was able to listen through the whole the whole thing.
Andrea Isabelle Lucas [00:06:02]
Oh my goodness. Thank you so much for the acknowledgement and the appreciation. And it just, it makes me feel good to know that it landed so much with you. And you're right, like we've been at a lot of the same events and we haven't had a chance to really get to know each other very well yet. And I'm just so excited to continue to get to know you.
Andrea Isabelle Lucas [00:06:19]
And I really grateful and touched that you took the time to get to know me so well and to read the book it it's so intimate, so vulnerable. Probably you can relate to this with having a podcast. I know you had a very successful career as a yoga teacher. And it's like in the moment there's live feedback and you know exactly how it's impacting the people in the room. And actually, I mean, there's lots of other ways it probably is too.
Andrea Isabelle Lucas [00:06:44]
But you can perceive and get that that live feedback. It just like if you were in a band playing a live show versus putting out an album, It's like that with putting out a podcast or a book, you're like, holy crap, I just laid my soul bare. And it's just out there now and I'm like, is anyone even reading it? Like, does anybody even know about it? Does anybody like this? You know? So it's just so affirming to have that feedback. So thank you.
Sarah Tacy [00:07:12]
I read Linda Siebertson's book that she released I think two years ago maybe. It was Beautiful writers and I reached out just to tell her how moved I was and there is something for me. There is clearly a way that I love self help books to be written, which is to have story involved. I'm just thinking also the book into the Magic shop again, it was like somebody who overcame such incredible adversity and learn such incredible lessons along the way. And when I reached out and shared with her the parts that were so moving to me and was specific about things I love, her response was so similar, which was it's so helpful to hear back because you may see the numbers that people have bought books and numbers become numbers.
Sarah Tacy [00:08:05]
But until you get to hear back from people and every now and then I'll, you know, somebody will reach out and tell me how a podcast has moved them or what they've liked. But by and large, it's more, I see numbers, but I don't it's not the same as teaching a yoga class where you are in the vibe with everybody and you're really feeling what the feels in the room. So yeah, I hear you. And I also laughed when Linda was in your book. I was like, oh, there we go.
Andrea Isabelle Lucas [00:08:29]
I'll circle, but it's true. Like there could be dozens or more of people that have sent a podcast episode of yours to 10 of their friends or to just their inner circle in a way that has like changed the narrative for them and rippled out. And like, most of the time they're not going to be like. PS Just FYI, Sarah, let me shoot you a quick deal. I've been telling everyone about your podcast episode. Like most people just won't. And that's OK. And it does feel so good when people do reach out.
Sarah Tacy [00:08:58]
Yeah, when you sent me your book, like the link so I could easily find it and. And I went for the audio because I was going to be on a long boat journey up the coast. So that was going to be the easiest way to not get, you know, I'd get like sick if I was bouncing up and down and trying to read. You gave me a warning that the opening scene might be a lot. And so for listeners, the opening scene includes domestic violence.
Sarah Tacy [00:09:29]
And when I was thinking about where we might start, it's not unlike me to go like, let's go back to conception. And then I thought, you know, Andrea has probably thought through this pretty well. And in her book, she most likely started at this point for a very good reason. And for me, the clarity is what a huge threshold moment this was. And I'm wondering if you feel open and as you said, there are a lot of tender vulnerable parts in your book.
Sarah Tacy [00:10:01]
And so when I ask you a question, if there's anything where you're like, I don't want to talk about this or this doesn't feel good. Now there is no need to speak on anything that doesn't feel in the best alignment for you in this moment, which you I'm sure you know.
Andrea Isabelle Lucas [00:10:17]
Thank you. I am feeling really tender today just for a variety of reasons. So we'll see. So, yeah, I did choose to start with that scene because honestly, you know, having been a Teen Mom, having left the house and supported myself working in strip clubs, you know, that was the only way that I could really go out on my own. That it that I could see at the time and be able to provide for myself and my child.
Andrea Isabelle Lucas [00:10:42]
Like these things are not things most people would probably guess if they met me now. And I think statistically, I later learned that I shouldn't be as successful as I have been. Luckily, I did not get the memo at the time. So I just kept assuming that I was supposed to do big things and have a big life. And I didn't, you know, probably there was a certain amount of privilege that played into me not getting those messages that I think are out there about what we're supposed to be capable of.
Andrea Isabelle Lucas [00:11:15]
But yeah, I just assumed I was going to do big things in my life. And I, anytime there was an obstacle, I just found a way and, you know, made my way around it. So I really wanted to make sure. And even sometimes when I'll be introducing myself on a panel or I'll just feel called to say that I'm a domestic violence survivor. Because in any given room, you know, with 100 people in it, somebody in there has shame around their story and they are feeling like a total loser, like nobody else has these problems.
Andrea Isabelle Lucas [00:11:50]
I'm damaged or I can't let people know this about me because other people have their **** together and I am a mess or what have you. So I did work for the ghost writer on my book. I really like to share that because nobody talks about that and I don't want to contribute to. I don't want people to take own it all and here that means do it all. So like, it involved getting help to be able to write a book in addition to running my business and everything.
Andrea Isabelle Lucas [00:12:20]
And it was a great process. And you know, I wasn't trying to win a literary award. So I don't feel that there's any problem with letting someone help you even figure out how the hell does one outline a book and you know, where do you start and where do you finish and you know, whatever. So that was fantastic. But she'd send me a draft and then I'd say, like, this isn't quite it or yeah, we're on the right track, but I don't really.
Andrea Isabelle Lucas [00:12:43]
I would never say this thing or whatever. And then after that was done, I added it four times and then decided, OK, time to time to get it out there. But all that to say that when she first sent me the first draft, she started with the after where there's this beautiful scene of me walking into my beautiful studio and how awesome my life is. And I was just like, if I was the reader, I almost wouldn't like this person. They sound way too polished.
Andrea Isabelle Lucas [00:13:10]
They've got it all together and I'm not resonating with this at all. And I was like, no, I think we need to right away show and hook the reader with like rooting for me from the rock bottom moment and then let's celebrate later and not try to go the other way around about it. So it nowadays writing a book, another thing that's so vulnerable about it is that you, I don't get to change it after. There's a lot I would change now, like post pandemic, post whatever. So many different ways that we say things now with the way we gender things or what have you that I'd like to be able to go back and change.
Andrea Isabelle Lucas [00:13:45]
But one of the things most cringy vulnerable things, it's just knowing that really it should have a trigger warning for how that opening scene is. But yes, it does start with domestic violence. And that certainly was a threshold moment because while I knew I wasn't in a healthy relationship and I had mentally resigned myself to, I guess, choosing convenience over happiness or something, you know, I was going to, I was planning on sticking it out, honestly, and didn't really dare to hope for more. And I don't mean to say that in a shameful way either because usually takes extreme discomfort for people to make a life change. And certainly I felt forced into leaving that relationship. And I'm actually been grateful ever since, because I might have stayed, and I'm glad I didn't, but.
Andrea Isabelle Lucas [00:14:42]
While the actual episode of violence that it was the first time that had happened, although then I could easily see the red flags looking backwards from there to not be that surprised that it happened. But the real threshold moment was when my neighbor had actually rushed me to the emergency room and I called home to tell my family about it. And my dad's response with like such sadness and resignation was what are you going to do? You can't leave. So that really was the threshold moment because it was when I realized like, Oh, no one's going to fix this for me.
Sarah Tacy [00:15:26]
I saw some micro moments before that in your story.
Andrea Isabelle Lucas [00:15:31]
Yeah.
Sarah Tacy [00:15:32]
And you know, I don't need to go into too much detail, but there was the moment of absolute survival of the way that one might curl up to like recognizing of mobilizing yourself and reaching out to nearest community. So they're like all these steps of like, really incredible health that I saw in the process before you even got to the hospital and like, courage and valor and decision that you wanted to live and make it. And yeah. And once you're there, that somebody who does end up later in the story giving you some aid, but at that point doesn't know that there's another way for you in that moment to so clearly go like, oh, I am going to own my life from this point forward. And although, as you said, there are many people who experience this and don't speak about it out loud, there are as many, if not more, who give away their power for convenience on a daily basis.
Sarah Tacy [00:16:50]
And so I can think about times in my marriage and my relationship when I'm just absolutely exhausted and not sleeping for years and the day where I looked in the mirror and was like, who is this person? And then looking back and going, oh, here all the times where I just went along with it. And it's like that looking around, looking around, like my house and looking around all the things that look so good and that people would say you're so lucky, don't change anything to then go like, wait, but this there is like the I did choose this, but mostly out of exhaustion and confusion. And so at any point, I was thinking, so as I was listening to your book, I was listening to it while we were driving through hours of fog every day. We were driving through hours of fog, which is a bit dangerous.
Sarah Tacy [00:17:43]
And really you have to be quite alert. And so you're using radar and GPS and it's telling you the direction to get there like 287°. And then there might be a buoy or there might be a red dot that you don't know what it is and it, and so you just see that there over and over again. You go off course and come back onto course and off course and back onto course. And if you were to stay off course for a prolonged period of time, just how far off course you could get to. And, and those might be like a rock bottom. Oh **** I'm in the middle. Of the ocean.
Sarah Tacy [00:18:22]
I'm like, but there are so many micro moments along the way, often before those big. And it's so similar, I think to how you spoke about goals near the end of the book of like there's that big sexy goal, but there are 1000 unsexy goals along the way. And I in this moment, I'm just thinking of the permission to like how many times we may have to course correct as just like a constant practice. And I think when you give such a big example at the beginning of your book, I don't think it's lost on the reader of where and how so many of us have similar roles. And we never know, like you said, that was that was the first instance of the physical act, but we never know how that's going to be.
Sarah Tacy [00:19:15]
And in the end, it's just that resolute determination of I'm going to own my life. And I feel like before in so many ways too, as you said, as teenage mom saying like, I don't feel safe in this house, so I'm going to do this thing to create more safety for my child and myself. And in my mind, you had that.
Andrea Isabelle Lucas [00:19:36]
Before too. Thank you for that. And actually, I really appreciate how you're able to pick up on each of those, like you said, kind of micro moments or the other examples. No one else has ever mentioned that before. So thank you.
Sarah Tacy [00:19:55]
Can you tell me, So you were saying this book came out before the pandemic? What year was it?
Andrea Isabelle Lucas [00:20:01]
It was 2019, yes, and it was March. Oh wow. So I feel like a pretty person by now, but sometimes I have to remind myself, like my social media these days, I mostly pull quotes from my book and just match it with like, current photos. And that's the way that I'm able to honestly keep up at the moment with having a presence on social. But it's hilarious because there are days that the quote that I see is like the thing I needed to hear that day.
Andrea Isabelle Lucas [00:20:32]
And it's just that whole like, teaching what you need to learn where I'm still actively learning these lessons. And yeah, man, I guess I really want to acknowledge myself for how much I probably have grown and been through having getting the business through the pandemic and being a leader at a time when there was absolutely no way to not be under fire from somebody, right? Like there was just no popular decisions that anybody could make. That was, you know, not going to **** somebody off. And that was a huge, I mean, I would say that's my next, my next book when I have when I finish having the breakthrough.
Andrea Isabelle Lucas [00:21:17]
But maybe my next book will really be about, I'm going to say boundaries, what Terry Cole calls like the high functioning codependency where you're over achieving to your own detriment. Because I think that's been the, the biggest lesson is like one of the tools that I used to, to overcome obstacles was just to work harder, push myself, like take responsibility. I'm still huge fan of taking responsibility. And I know I spoke about delegation in the book. And I think that's like the school that I'm in right now for sure is, you know, that upper limit is like, OK, but how do I really say no to more things, delegate more things, trust others and let myself be supported in more ways and stand in my truth even when it ****** some people off?
Andrea Isabelle Lucas [00:22:01]
Man, the pandemic, if nothing else, that was for sure the school that it was for me. Because all you could do every day is make the best decision you had with your values and the information that you were working with. And it was guaranteed unpopular with somebody you know.
Sarah Tacy [00:22:21]
Yeah. And so we're talking, I imagine, both with a studio being open or not open, vaccines or not vaccines. The social justice movement that really got amplified, that had a lot of different opinions. And if you were somebody who is a public figure in any way, who is whose job seemingly now becomes that you would be responsive to all of these topics and themes that a lot of people were feeling life threatened by it. And I think it's a bit analogous to if you're driving in a car and you accidentally cut somebody off and they give you the finger and they start honking and they're so mad and it felt so innocent, but they're having a response if you almost killed me, right?
Sarah Tacy [00:23:16]
Like it's like, like I without even knowing, right, it could be like, and you know, some people may have like calmer nervous systems and, and be like, oh, great, I responded. We're good. But I think with everything that went on 2019, 2020 and, and really moving forward, there's so much of feeling like our lives are at risk by other people's opinions being different than ours. You.
Andrea Isabelle Lucas [00:23:42]
Really summarize that so succinctly and so well. I wish I could just put it in like a A-frame and hang it up because it's so perfectly set. I'm like, Oh my God, you just expressed everything that I, I went through and yeah, it sucked. It really sucked. And so glad that we're where we are now, which I think is better than where we were. We're all, it's all a work in progress. But I do think a lot of people have realized how untenable that way of relating actually is.
Sarah Tacy [00:24:26]
Yeah, yeah, I've heard that from a few of my guests who have, you know, social media platforms. And I'm thinking of Jen Hunter Marshall, who has a gym and just that was a big part of what she was sharing with how challenging it is to be vulnerable and put yourself out and to have people who are not in the arena really slamming. If we were to say a little bit about when I think about bar and Seoul, I think some lessons that are really useful for the listener is the idea of small doable pieces. And the way that you put it in your book was what is the biggest challenge you can take today? So I think they're actually the same thing.
Sarah Tacy [00:25:12]
1 sounds more like really challenging you to the edge. And the other one might be for someone who's like, OK, I can chase one small bit, but it's I think it's the same thing. And I'm wondering if you could tell us a little bit about your journey into bar and soul and the idea of the small doable pieces or the biggest challenge you can do for the day.
Andrea Isabelle Lucas [00:25:37]
Yeah, it's funny. When I wrote the book, what came up, the phrase that came out of me and landed on the page was take the biggest risk you can stomach for today. Hilarious because stomach felt an important word at the time, even though I didn't have nearly the level of somatic awareness that I have now. But I really even much more clearer now that it really is about what your nervous system can handle. And I do think that when we get overwhelmed, it's very easy to get overwhelmed by a goal or did not believe that it's possible.
Andrea Isabelle Lucas [00:26:17]
I think, yeah, our bodies can't even muster an action, really. And so it's so important to just break it down, down, down, down, down to the baby, baby step. And it's funny because during the pandemic, I didn't feel like that phrase was resonating at all because taking the biggest risk you can stomach, nobody wants to take a risk. We were all like, this life is too big a risk right now. But it was more like, take the step that you can stomach for today or do the, you know, the action.
Andrea Isabelle Lucas [00:26:47]
Absolutely. I didn't even like. It's funny because of course, as everybody does, we always move the, you know, goal post on our goals and our dreams and there's always more different, bigger, better things, or at least for somebody like me who's very ambitious. But so of course I look at the business I have today and I'm like, oh, but I wanted to be so much bigger and I want to do so many more things. But at the same time, I have to, if I'm really being honest, like the size business that I have today, the fact that Bar and Soul could generate millions of dollars in revenue in a year.
Andrea Isabelle Lucas [00:27:19]
Like the fact that it, you know, I have multiple physical locations in three different States and over 70 employees. And that is not remotely the vision. The fact that I would ever share a stage with Michelle Obama that was not on my list of things that I even wished for or thought that I could do. It was really just like the next the next thing that gave me butterflies that I felt like, OK, I could do that. I think I could do that, you know, and each time I did that thing, another new doors would open that I didn't even plan on.
Andrea Isabelle Lucas [00:27:54]
So I just think it's so important to do something and to always be taking those actions and those baby steps, even if that thing is just saying out loud, hey, I've been thinking about whatever, you know, doing public speaking. I've been thinking about starting a business. I've been whatever. I think just that action alone is an action because speaking opens doors, it creates possibilities within your network, it lets people know what you're looking to attract, and then they can bring it to you. So I really just think wherever you are, there's some next step that you can take.
Andrea Isabelle Lucas [00:28:30]
And I tried to write the book from that perspective where if you are someone who is actually at rock bottom, this book will help you. If you're someone that luckily isn't at rock bottom, it'll help you because wherever you are, honestly, it really does come down to baby steps. And those are some of the messages I try to weave throughout the book, including like in the own Your health chapter. It's like, just have a bare minimum. Just have a bare minimum standard and literally actually make it, you know, such a low bar that you could trip over it.
Andrea Isabelle Lucas [00:28:57]
And then when that's not requiring effort, do the thing that takes just a teeny bit more effort. Because I do think we over do it with our goals and our plans sometimes, and then we're just not even motivated to take the first action.
Sarah Tacy [00:29:11]
Yeah, yeah. In your book, you sure that, you know, I think it may have started by taking a teacher training and like then how scary it is just to do your first class and then making your way. And then I think it's like equinox and then becoming manager of Equinox and then like, oh, exhale, exhale, exhale. Thank you. Exhale.
Andrea Isabelle Lucas [00:29:32]
I thought I had that wrong at Exhale and then, yeah, recognizing, oh, I have a really unique style that I want to integrate and it wants to be more soulful and it wants to weave purpose into the each movement and these little ways that doors open for us. Like, oh, here's I don't feel like I could put a down payment on a studio right now, but I could teach this method here, here and here and then a studio opens. But you know, like it's just these little things. And right now I'm thinking of the Lost Kitchen where I think when Aaron French, I was just like, I don't know, there's not a place someone's like, you could use our barn that has, you know, and it's now this place that's on TV you can't get a reservation at. But it was all small steps.
Andrea Isabelle Lucas [00:30:17]
It's not like I want to be on HBO. It was like, what lights me up next? What brings butterflies? And I'm thinking of also when I used to teach teacher trainings and I would like the night before going to a new studio where I have no idea how they're going to receive me or my style. And I'm thinking of how my eyes would start to water.
Andrea Isabelle Lucas [00:30:38]
It's kind of that feeling right before you're about to cry. And I'd have the butterflies in my stomach. And sometimes I'd ask my husband, like, will you just hold me? And there are times where he's like, why do you do this? And I'm like, I actually, this is a sign I'm on the right path.
Sarah Tacy [00:30:54]
It's like I'm doing it because I'm called and the little butterflies and that like about to cry is just the part right before breakthrough of the next step. And I loved seeing the progression of your business. And I want to say one more thing, which is I just did A5 point sequence series on threshold moment. It's the beginning of July, the first three weeks of July and it goes through my Scotland trip and the first episode is on preparation. And I talked about the unknown preparation that happens when you are just living life and course correcting and taking the next right step and asking questions the universe.
Sarah Tacy [00:31:43]
So you said like you'd say out loud what you think you want to do. For me, sometimes it's just like, oh, in that moment is like, I don't even know what brings me alive. Like show me and like in kind of letting it go and the UN known preparation where it's not so much like OK, now we need to get QuickBooks. Now we need to find a studio space because that's important too. I just really love like that surprise and delight me when we do just take that next right step.
Andrea Isabelle Lucas [00:32:14]
I think so. I think we maybe put a little too much pressure, like if we have to completely rack our brains to come up with the next step, that's not the next step. There's something that's available right now that is like that makes me a little nervous, but excited. Like that's the thing that is it. And thank you for reminding me of your original question, which was about like the progression of the steps.
Andrea Isabelle Lucas [00:32:42]
You're right, like when I first started teaching bar first of all, when I took my first class was like, who even am I to do this? I'm not an athletic person. I'm like I was pregnant at the time and then when in my teacher training, I was going through piercing my life back together. So I was super not confident and I felt like I was getting up in front of all these women that I thought had it all together. And I was kind of a mess.
Andrea Isabelle Lucas [00:33:05]
And I felt like such an imposter. And just practicing alone in a room was like forcing my voice to come out of my body because I was so shut down around it. So the fact of even just being able to get up and teach in front of people was a massive accomplishment at that time. And there was no part of me that was like, I'm going to own a multi $1,000,000 bar empire. Like, for sure.
Andrea Isabelle Lucas [00:33:29]
No, definitely not. In fact, I would have even told you I wanted that. I wanted to be like a women's studies professor at the time. But it was like you said, the little breakthroughs, you know, And then after a while I was like, wait, I'm in such a flow state here. And what a great platform for someone who wants to have an impact on women's lives and be a force of a conduit of empowerment in the world for women. So, yeah, each thing was a bit of a surprise and delight as it came. And it was like, oh, I could do this. OK, Scary, but exciting. It was kind of like that.
Sarah Tacy [00:34:02]
I thought I was going to be, I was a psychology major and I thought that was my path. And when I got into yoga out of my own threshold of immense pain and back injury and kind of lost the identity moment, there was 1 teacher that I eventually ended up with. And somebody said, oh, that's like spiritual boot camp. And I go in and she'd have you hold poses for a very long time and then yell things like, why are you doing this? Are you doing this out of love or are you doing this to prove something to somebody?
Sarah Tacy [00:34:35]
And I'd over and over go like, oh, shoot, I just don't want to look weak next to this person. And it was so helpful. I called it applied psychology, which I actually know that there is a field called applied psychology. So it's not equal. They're not the same thing version
Sarah Tacy [00:34:51]
It's not the same as the official version. Because in the moment, if somebody is asking me to reflect on something while I'm living the challenged state and I can change it in the challenge, then it's easier for me to next go out on the lacrosse field where I would have performance anxiety and beat myself up if I missed a goal. And remember, why am I doing this? Am I doing this to prove something to somebody? Or am I doing this out of the love and the joy of playing?
Sarah Tacy [00:35:25]
And everything shifted for me. And I remember saying to my professor, it's like, I don't think that I can sit on a couch next to somebody and have them just speak without their body being included. And so much of what I learned working with athletes, this might be interesting to you doing bar and soul and incorporating philosophy as you teach is if they could receive feedback within 15 seconds of the movement, they're more likely to be able to update the programming. And also that you can't learn too much in a state of fatigue. And so that idea of like going hard and recovery and going hard and recovery, but getting feedback in the moment of challenge and like the meant not just the physical, but the mental ability to fix myself when generally I would be looping and nobody would be there to throw a new idea of how I could manage the situation.
Sarah Tacy [00:36:23]
It was so powerful to have that mind body. And so for me and, and those moments in those classes, I was like, oh, I can't just go get a PhD in this area. I have to include the body. So I went immediately into yoga teacher training upon graduation. It was like a hard left turn from where I thought academics were going to take me.
Andrea Isabelle Lucas [00:36:45]
Yeah, absolutely. And it makes sense. I mean, you felt it in your body and you knew and that's it. I mean, and it's funny because I've been on it. Quite an interesting journey because I think it's almost like, do you like The War of Art? Is that a book that you?
Sarah Tacy [00:37:00]
I haven't read it in a long time, but I have read it and I remember really loving it. Yeah, Resistance.
Andrea Isabelle Lucas [00:37:06]
Resistance and the more something is your dream, the more you resist it and procrastinate around it and whatever. And I think because I didn't mean to start a fitness business, I actually was able to just go for it a lot more at the beginning because I just had less attachment and anxiety about the whole thing. It was just like, huh, this is working. I don't know, I'm going to keep doing this. Like, holy crap, that thing worked too.
Andrea Isabelle Lucas [00:37:32]
Let me do the next thing, you know. And it is very interesting. And then I went through a period in all honesty of being like, how did I get here? Why am I kind of what you said about like, wait, I did choose this, but also what am I doing here? How did I end up?
Andrea Isabelle Lucas [00:37:47]
I did not set out to be a fitness instructor. I didn't really resonate with that identity. I thought I was supposed to be something else. I kept trying to go be a public speaker or an author or a coach because that more matched how I saw myself. And something has happened in the last few years where I've been able to integrate it all back together again.
Andrea Isabelle Lucas [00:38:07]
And now I'm beyond committed to the physical movement part. I can never just talk to people's heads. I couldn't ever be totally fulfilled with that. And yeah, and it comes from just having these embodied experiences and just knowing that it takes your whole system, it takes your whole body for your mind, your spirit, your soul, whatever you want to call it, to really receive transformation or achieve transformation.
Sarah Tacy [00:38:40]
It's funny now that I don't teach sequence. I would, but I don't. It's not a strong calling in that so much of mine is on the computer sitting across from somebody that like, I could never sit on a couch, but kind of I am. And the difference being that we are constantly checking in, like, where is that in the body? Is there a movement that has to happen?
Sarah Tacy [00:39:05]
And I will say that when I was getting back a little bit, just like the tiniest bit of sleep again, I started going to see a friend who is a fitness instructor once a week and maybe it moved up to twice a week. And as soon as I lifted that one day like that first time that I lifted weights again, I was like, oh, this is like, oh, like the thing that happens when our muscles feel strong is that our emotions begin to get some tone and our courage begins to get some tone. And I always felt with yoga, the stretching aspect often had to do with giving like space and flexibility in our perspective and our perception, but that they were both really important, both at like strength and mobility. So I just, I really love it when people integrate the two simultaneously. I just think it's so powerful.
Andrea Isabelle Lucas [00:40:02]
It is so powerful. And, and I know we've talked about this before, how you do reach a point. You can reach a point. I have reached a point. And I think you might have also reached that point in career as a movement teacher where you do get kind of sick of calling out poses and you want to go deeper.
Andrea Isabelle Lucas [00:40:22]
And it's like, I don't have time to say everything and discuss everything with you that I really need and want to do. If I have to keep telling you where to put your knee and your ankle and your toe and your. So it's like, okay, I've done this for a while and I need that, that new expression or that next expression. And I very much been in a felt that I was in like a limbo state for a little while because I'm like, I don't really want to go back to teaching classes, but something's missing and I do need a vehicle and an outlet. And I very reluctantly picked up a couple of classes on the schedule.
Andrea Isabelle Lucas [00:40:56]
And there's just like a variety of reasons why I didn't want to do that. Number one, I think in the past, burning myself out from doing way too much of it and fearing that like having that negative association. I think trying to be the CEO of a business that was growing or grew to a point that it didn't feel sustainable to have that extra recurring thing on my calendar. Yeah, feeling like kind of bored, like, no, I, I don't want to talk about fitness anymore. I want to get into deeper stuff with people.
Andrea Isabelle Lucas [00:41:28]
I want to coach people and, and do all that. But it's funny because someone who I really respect said to me like, well, I don't know, but when I'm not teaching, I get dysregulated. And you may just want to try it again just to see. And I still resisted it for six more months. And then there was just a turnover issue in one of the studios.
Andrea Isabelle Lucas [00:41:46]
And really, I didn't want to let the members down and have to cancel all these classes. So I picked up these two classes and right away it was the best two hours of my week. And I know, and I'm like, Oh my God, people being in a room with people and moving together. And you know, that mentor had said to me like having an outlet, having a place to express and to channel and to share was so good. And it did get kind of unsustainable for my schedule.
Andrea Isabelle Lucas [00:42:15]
So now I'm like, OK, what's the sweet spot going to be? Is it going to be like doing pop up classes or doing special workshops where there is more time for the talking part? Because I freaking love talking and, and I just think there's so much to talk about. So it, it's cool to see where the journey is going to go. And I and I feel the same way about you. Like, it sounds like you've found ways to bring movement into a deeper kind of work that you're doing now.
Sarah Tacy [00:42:38]
Yeah. And I'm like imagining into retreats that I want to host at my house or somewhere else. I'm like, I want more physical movement than just what we do on the screen, right? Like I'm like, like I'm imagining Janine Yoder coming in, doing an embodied dance class and then also just doing some of the physical things that I love to guide and having a little bit more room for that physicality. And your coaching within your book is so good.
Andrea Isabelle Lucas [00:43:10]
Thank you.
Sarah Tacy [00:43:12]
And it's so doable and also really useful reflections that I feel like will never be not useful. Like I don't know if anyone will ever master a calendar. So to have the reminders and to have the questions, to really think about and to both have I imagined and I read in your BIOS. So it's true that you had teacher trainings and you've also built this business.
Sarah Tacy [00:43:37]
And although I could lead various teacher trainings on things, I'm not sure that I would want to necessarily say like I'll run a mastermind to teach women how to do business. But I feel like the way that you would lead something like that would be so beautiful because there would be so much of the personal work in the social justice and the legacy and the clarity on who you are on top of knowing how to build a business so it.
Andrea Isabelle Lucas [00:44:06]
Seems like a good idea. You know what, I'm so glad you said that because I actually do have something that it's going to be coming up. And it's funny because during the pandemic, while we were all pivoting and doing different things, you know, and there certainly wasn't much traffic going through the studios. And I did do a couple little, I called them mini masterminds because they were like 8 weeks long maybe. And I put together a curriculum and I taught people the business of frankly, boutique fitness.
Andrea Isabelle Lucas [00:44:36]
And even actually the way it's structured, it could be for any fitness professional. And PS, just to like complete the last thought about the identity of fitness professional. Not really vibing. Like, I don't even think that's what I am now. So I think that's why I've been able to like, yeah, it's not I'm not a fitness instructor and movement is huge part and fitness is a huge part of what I do.
Andrea Isabelle Lucas [00:45:00]
So however, whatever label you enjoy for someone who helps people move their bodies and stay healthy and support people in their physical being well, so that they can really have their fullest self-expression and, and be out there getting building their own legacy, you know what I mean? So anyway, I ran these things and I called them bar boss because most of the people in my audience, you know, have been through my bar training. I have yoga trainings and some other things too. But so I called the bar Boss and I loved it and it's available now as like an online course and relaunched it like once in the last couple years. And it kind of just was like, meh.
Andrea Isabelle Lucas [00:45:42]
And for one thing, I think the name Bar Boss is a little misleading because it really does teach the whole world of doing fitness as a business. But there's also a huge personal development piece to it too. And so I was thinking about relaunching it, renaming it. And I'd love to tell you the name, but I don't know what it is yet. But yeah, it's, it's going to be named at some point.
Andrea Isabelle Lucas [00:46:04]
But anyway, I was supposed to be relaunching the online course of it this summer. And then I pushed it back to this fall just because I had a lot going on. And then I met with my marketing person a couple weeks ago and I just was like, I'm not excited about launching this at all. Like, I know this content is so good and so necessary for people, but the thought of an online course is just like, does not light my fire right now. But I was like, but you know, what would light my fire is if people got access to the course.
Andrea Isabelle Lucas [00:46:33]
But then we had an immersion together and we all got together and we like sweat and we laugh and we cry and we like hug and we dance and we like shake and we declare things. And I'm like, OK, that I could totally do what I could be so excited about. So it's going to be that and I'll tell you the name when I find out what it is. And if folks just want to follow along with me, they'll definitely be hearing about it when I when I start to open that up.
Sarah Tacy [00:46:59]
So great. I think this episode's coming out in August or September, so when it does, if you do have a name, we'll put it in the notes or maybe we'll throw a little audio in there. But I'm excited for it and I want to say the card I pulled today, which I thought was so interesting, is Legacy of Light. And I was like, no, except I get how the world works. I'm not that surprised.
Sarah Tacy [00:47:25]
I think the closing question will have to do with that. But there's a part of me it was wondering if it might be too big of a question. So just take what feels good and go with it. I was wondering if I gave you the cue of khakis and the circus, if you would be able to say a thing or two about authenticity to our listeners. Absolutely.
Andrea Isabelle Lucas [00:47:55]
When I was little, I used to. I had a stage name that I created for myself. So I used to walk into rooms with a hair brush using it as a microphone and I would go, ladies and gentlemen, boxy. Wow. And I don't know, like where I got that name. But honestly, like that is who I am meant to be. You know what I mean? Like my N node is Leo. Like I am supposed to be galloping around on a sparkly pony in this world. And it's hard for me to do that.
Andrea Isabelle Lucas [00:48:31]
It's I get really afraid of getting criticized and I want to be seen as good and I, you know, so there was a time in my life where I was just in such a wrong for me relationship and trying so hard to look good. I was getting married at the time, and I felt that it would just kind of make everybody's parents happy to do this whole church wedding, even though I had really no connection with the religion. And we had to pose for this directory. We had to join a church, and we posed for the directory photo and I was just wearing all these things that weren't me, including literally khaki friggin pants. It's just something I would never actually own.
Andrea Isabelle Lucas [00:49:12]
Like, I just try not to even wear shirts with collars. Like, it's just not me. It's just not, you know, there are there's rare exceptions. But when I ever got the photo back, I just was like, who is this? You know, like, who the hell is this person?
[00:49:29] This is so not who I am. And later, after that relationship ended, I had this
opportunity to join a circus troupe. And it was the most fun thing that I've ever taken part in. And we did burlesque and we, we danced and we sang and there was a band and I got to play the ukulele and I got to make up weird characters. And I had this bearded lady character, which was so fun because I was getting my women's studies degree.
Andrea Isabelle Lucas [00:49:55]
So I got to get all these, like, interesting gender concepts and kind of play them out and make people laugh. And that was, yeah, one of the most alive experiences that I've had. And it's just like, do you want to be gripping and grinning and just kind of getting through in the khaki pants or do you want to be like unhinged and unleashed as your most weird, fun, silly, you know, glorious self? And I think there is something to the fact that that little version of me knew that that's that was my vibe. That's what I was here to be and who I was here to be. So it's a daily practice, that's for sure. And I think one of the biggest things that I want to continue to work on and to share with others.
Sarah Tacy [00:50:45]
The first day that I met you, Kate Northrop was having a cross pollination dinner. It was post COVID or not like post COVID. It was like one of the first times I was in a social situation. And it was actually at my dad's old restaurant. So that was also interesting because he had just sold it a year before.
Sarah Tacy [00:51:08]
And I remember, you know, I was just still climbing out of a cave and just feeling like real vulnerable that night. And just really doing my best to say that's generally my goal whenever I go into social situations is I just want to stay in my body. It's like my only goal. Which is probably why even though we've been at places multiple times, we haven't spoken yet because it's like I might talk to like 1 new person or just like I just want to be in my body. It's my only goal in life like.
Sarah Tacy [00:51:38]
But I do remember that night you had a black and white one piece jumpsuit on when it was like a beautiful, like deep cut. And you look so sexy. And so I love as you talk about your style and what makes you feel like you, that the times I've seen you, I feel like you are always authentically like in your power, in your sexiness, in your strength. And I'm thinking of one other thing, which is this man I met, Boyd Vardy, who is a lion tracker and a shaman and a life coach. And he speaks about the idea of the path of not here.
Sarah Tacy [00:52:19]
So as you're tracking an animal and you lose the track that it's still really good information. It's the track of not here. And so those times that we like that, you know, in this situation, you look at the picture and you're like, who is that.
Sarah Tacy [00:52:36]
Just as good of information as when you are so lit up as a bearded woman playing the ukulele in a circus of feeling like the path of not here and the path of like hell. Yes, and then all the places in between how we are just constantly getting information back, this idea that we really can't fail. That's one thing that I told you I was doing a Mel Robbins course right now. She's like, you really can't fail this. No matter what, you're going to find something out about yourself as long as you take a little bit of action.
Sarah Tacy [00:53:07]
And if you don't take that 15 minutes of action, then you find something about yourself, like there's no failing. And so I loved both of the stories that you told in your book about authenticity and finding your way. And, and the last question that could be a sentence or two maybe would just be about legacy, Speak about legacy quite a bit in your book. And I can hear it woven throughout this conversation. I'm wondering if you could say a phrase or a sentence on what you want your legacy to be.
Andrea Isabelle Lucas [00:53:40]
Absolutely. And 1st, I want to say thank you for bringing that lion tracking analogy in because that was so good. And that yeah, that just brings home both of those stories in a new way for me. So thank you. And I totally, you made such an impression on me that night too, when we first met.
Andrea Isabelle Lucas [00:53:57]
And I just thought, what first of all, wow, this is one of the most naturally radiant, lovely, striking, beautiful people I've ever met. And also I just felt, wow, what a real honest, like open person who's you were going through some **** that day and you were just like very real about it and didn't try to pretend that. Let me just put that in the, you know, in my purse while I, you know, just sit here and socialize. But you really were just so, so authentic and, and so actually embodied. And, and I remember thinking, because my childhood best friend lives in your town and when you said where you were from, I was like, Oh, I'm so happy for my friend that there's cool people like this in her town.
Andrea Isabelle Lucas [00:54:44]
And I will have to connect you to it some. So as far as legacy, I think it's always a work in progress, but it's really about helping others feel empowered to be fully self expressed. I'm especially interested in helping others who have a lot of barriers to that, like women who have a lot of conditioning or socialization that might have made a lot of the barriers internal. But whether internal or external, really removing those barriers and helping everybody live into the fullest version of themselves that they are here to be and they're and the legacy that's true for them.
Sarah Tacy [00:55:35]
Thank you. I don't always remember to do this, but a lot of times I end a mini music and sometimes an interview with a little reticular activation slash universe prayer. May we give ourselves so much grace, and may we surround ourselves with others who may be able to point out the small valiant steps that we've taken along the way. And when we find ourselves alone, may we have the blessing and the strength to recognize what we're capable of, to make the next right choice, with full permission 5/10/15 years later, to choose differently. May we know that life will be a journey of constantly rechecking our navigation, going off course and getting back on course of the path of not here and the hell yes.
Sarah Tacy [00:57:05]
May we find our legacy and continue to listen to the whispers, to feel for the butterflies in our stomach and to surround ourselves with strong, heart centered people. In this moment I'm also having an image of nature, the earth. I'm thinking of ancestors and the legacies of those who came before us, and thinking of the powers seen and unseen, and holding those all dear with great gratitude. And I find myself taking an easy inhale. This is the yoga coming out here. And an exhale. Thank you.
Andrea Isabelle Lucas [00:57:59]
An honor.
Sarah Tacy [00:58:12]
Thank you for tuning in. It's been such a pleasure. If you're looking for added support, I'm offering a program that's totally free called 21 Days of Untapped Support. It's pretty awesome. It's very easy, it's very helpful You can find it at sarahtacy.com. And if you love this episode, please subscribe. And like, apparently it's wildly useful. So we could just explore what happens when you Scroll down to the bottom subscribe rate, maybe say a thing or two. If you're not feeling it, don't do it. It's totally fine. I look forward to gathering with you again. Thank you so much.