What if You're Not Stuck - You're Softening...
Ever find yourself bouncing between “This is it! I’m finally doing it!” and “What was I thinking? I can’t. I’m too tired. I’ll never be who I was- or who I want to become?”
That pendulation—between hope and collapse, clarity and confusion, energy and exhaustion—can feel like failure. But it’s not. It’s a nervous system signal. And often, it means one thing: Your current demands have outpaced your current resources.
Sometimes that’s circumstantial. Sometimes it’s because we’re at the edge of growth. Sometimes it’s grief, an injury, hormonal, seasonal, or all of the above.
The body can't push through forever when it doesn’t have the internal or external support it needs. It tends to swing between urgency and freeze. Between “I must!” and “I can’t.” Between fully activated and utterly despondent.
For two years, I lived in that cycle—expanding just enough to think, "Finally… I’m back!" And then collapsing again after another illness in the family, or more missed sleep, or another early parenting challenge. Pendulating between finally and not yet can feel heartbreaking.
Have you ever felt this? If so, being able to recognize this experience as a predictable season in a bigger cycle can be wildly useful in getting through with more ease.
Welcome, my friend, to the very real season of resuscitation and defrosting. It is natural, intelligent, and looks a lot like what the earth does this time of year.
The ground doesn’t go from frozen to blooming overnight. Neither does your nervous system.
Like the earth on its way to spring—
We freeze.
We melt.
We freeze again.
We soften in layers.
And yes—it can get muddy and messy.
This cycle is full of intelligence.
The freeze protects what’s not ready.
The thaw prepares what’s about to rise.
And slowly, slowly…
We bloom.
If you can relate to this on a personal level, and you’re planning to act on your vision (because it moves you and there are bills to pay!), move slowly. Let the roots go deep. Be steady where you can. Let your system feel resourced as you grow, not after.
Maybe layers of support look like:
- Taking an extra breath
- A dance break
- Deleting a distracting app
- Eating delicious food
- Going to bed a bit earlier
- Taking a walk in nature
- Saying no to something you would have said yes to when you had more energy to spare
- Extending your deadline (Do you have flexibility or more choice than you perceive?)
Ask yourself:
- What would support and resuscitate your system in a season of transition?
- What would resource you while still attending to what you must?
Next week, we’ll explore what this freeze–thaw cycle can look like in relationship to money—and why those swings aren’t a character flaw, but a nervous system pattern.
I’ve been dancing with my own money story over the last year, and I’ve learned so much. I can’t wait to share it with you.
With love and deep respect for your process,
Sarah
Also if you missed it last week I got to join Kate Northrup on Plenty, where we explored how our body’s sense of safety often shapes our patterns of financial hypervigilance or dissociation.
We dove into how healing is a relational process, the power of small, consistent steps, and why accompaniment—having the right support—is essential for lasting transformation.
I share practical tools to regulate your nervous system, fostering a sense of ease not just with money but also in relationships, parenting, and self-care. This conversation is an invitation to shift from survival mode to thriving, helping you cultivate a deeper connection with yourself and your resources.
“Small steps of self-care start to bring you back to yourself, back to a sense of safety.” –Sarah Tacy