048 - Mini Musing: Blessings on New Beginnings
Welcome, dear listeners. As we enter this new year, I want to invite you to begin in a slower place. Because when we begin from a slower, perhaps less resourced place, what we envision and create may be more supportive, sustainable and sacred for us over time.
Tune in as we explore the Tao, nervous system regulation, healing journeys, and the possibility of the new. And stay with me until the end for a grounding practice to open your year gently.
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Episode Transcript
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Hello, welcome. I'm Sarah Tacy. And this is Threshold Moments, the podcast where guests and I share stories about the process of updating into truer versions of ourselves. The path is unknown. And the poll feels real. Together we share our grief, laughter, love, and life saving tools. Join us.
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Hello, and welcome to the threshold moments podcast today is a mini musing. And we are right on the other side of the threshold of a new year, which is the beginning. And I would love to offer the perspective that beginnings don't necessarily always start with the sprouting of something new, a new habit a new you but that the beginnings often start with a death of something old. Something that no longer fits. And before the new US sprouts, and all the energy and willpower go into that, which is a bit more spring energy. There's this time of underground who called this saying that or actually she said that her father who is an enlightened Taoist Master would talk about the underground energy of the earth and creating a fertile ground to be in and that everything that grows up from it, everything that we see is the Yang and instead of calling it the Father, that he calls it, the sun, and not the sun in the sky, but the son of the mother. And as we begin a new year, if we give ourselves permission to begin in the fertile void to begin from a slower plate place, and even to imagine, you know, in this fertile void in the slower place, when we begin to lean into what feels true for us what it is that we desire, from a place that's slower, possibly even less resourced, especially just coming off the holidays. Then that image as we grow in our resources, and our capacity to be with more, is really that much more doable than when we do it after a big cup of coffee, or was spring energy to do it. Now from a place of slightly less energy, or have like cozying up energy that we might find visions that feel a little bit more true and feel cozy and feel warm and feel like, yes, I want to be a part of that. This morning, I was feeling overwhelmed. And I felt sentiments of resentment passing through me. Now as I say that at this very moment, I think back to the podcast that I did, that was on emotions as entities like what are we vibrating at? What are we making a home for four resentment to be like, Oh, you're a good match. And I giggled a little before I started this podcast and as I was sitting outside to kind of come back to myself, how I just put out a podcast on help and choice. All of these things that might help us from falling into overwhelm or resentment. But I do know that in the help when I said when we feel resentment it often means that we are not receiving enough help or asking for enough help. Or sometimes we do and the resources just aren't there it also can redirect me I found myself like ooh if I'm resenting this what is it that like maybe I want the thing maybe there's something I can like get clear on so the others actually something I want that I'm not going after there's joy that I'm not giving myself because I'm making sure that all these other things are taken care of first. And if I were to prioritize like what is really most important what I shift anything around my schedule and then and then and then and then because I'm so blessed that I just went on post podcast as well, which I think will probably be out by now. I was reminded that in my early 20s, I was deep into Taoism, that was even to religious studies in general. But I was really into Taoism. And this is gonna sound funny to Taoism and sports psychology and yoga and how these eastern methodologies could really help. This was my thesis in college actually, as a psychology major religion minor, how these eastern methodologies and practices could help with performance anxiety. And I can even think as a parent or a business owner, that isn't all that different, the performance anxiety that getting it all done and doing it well. And when I started leaning into the Dow, I started to understand that no matter how much I try to control all the variables, that the way that the Dow works is that there are going to be times where everything seems to be working on your behalf, and you have the wind behind your back. And there are going to be other times in days where it feels like you just can't get it to for me as a lacrosse player. And when I started to understand this, instead of beating myself up after I missed a goal, or I didn't catch a pass that I felt I really should have gotten. And instead of not only did I beat myself up, I would think about what am I going to tell the people who came to watch me, I mean, the whole conversation would go on my head about the future, while missing the rest of the game that I was playing. I mean, I was in it. And I was playing, but my mind was future traveling to making the excuses for why I had fallen short. And when I started doing yoga, the question My teacher used to kind of yell into the room was, are you doing this out of love? Are you doing this to prove something? And I would so often go, Oh, I'm trying to like prove that I'm enough by singing this posture long enough? Or? Oh, yeah, like, I'm trying to prove my worth through my performance. And so I could just come back to my breath. Tune into like, what would love say, what I do here even longer than I think I could possibly be here for what I come out. Before. There was even an offer to come out. And so I took that on to the field. I am I doing this? Oh, yeah. Like I wanna have fun out here. Fun. What? playing at a high level for fun. Okay, I often would just breathe. during the national anthem, I would just breathe. And I would watch the wind, like the way the wind would move one blade of grass. And we find gratitude. And if I missed a goal, I would take a breath and am here for love. And if it seems so clear that that day was not my day to be a peak offensive player goal scorer. I will remember that there's the Dow there's the way. And you know, it sounds so silly maybe to take this really ancient, sacred, spiritual, philosophical, scientific philosophy and make it about a sport. But it was really about me, right? It was about coming to peace with myself within something greater. And so I could, today's might not my day for that. Maybe it's my day, to be a defender. And sometimes I was even like, maybe the coach will take me out because today is not the day. And it there's just this sense of surrender. And I bring this up, because if you're feeling overwhelmed today, and maybe he was so great, and yes, you're at the top of the Dow. And if it's not that day, for me, like this morning, I'm like, okay, overwhelm resentment. What does it mean? Should I reach out to somebody, you're trying to figure out all the logical things and nervous system modalities. And when I remember the way and say, oh, and sometimes life stacks and just to be able to surrender to the sometimes
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things stack sometimes things are harder that I could feel the sense of surrender. And it doesn't mean that everything else couldn't, I couldn't go back and look at it.
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But also, thank you for the reminder that among all of these things on social media that said is a successful life is where your nervous system is calm, actually, actually, a Dao traveled up and it travels down. And within the nervous system world, my teacher Bridget fixins would say there's the river of life. And that this can happen within your range of resonance within your range of regulation, in which there are some days that are really hard. And there are some days that are really fun. And there are points during the day, that peak, your nervous system, and points that seem duller, and that would be really normal. That call might not be the goal. The goal might be to be in our body. And if we're not just to know that that too, could pass. Everyone, why did I start this many music in the first place? This particular one was first to say, Hey, I'm with you. It's the beginning of a new threshold. If you're not feeling new, meaning new energy, like it's so normal, it's a season of inward. And what a beautiful time to have a vision. In February, I'll talk about when we have friends who hold visions for us loved ones. But if we have a vision from this place, that it might be more sacred, it might be more real, we might be able to hold it with more care. And then I wanted to add on this other idea, which I mean, today, I'm just going back to my lacrosse career. I'm thinking about the days where I was in the zone, the days that I felt unstoppable. And on those days, if I were at the top of the key, let's say like 20 yards away from the goal, the other team has all their defenders setup. And I start to make my way to go and the defenders drop in on me. When I was in the zone, what would happen is that the defenders, my vision, would see the defenders as making my path to the goal, or possibly opening up to a teammate who is now undefended. But the defenders weren't obstacles in my way. They were instead showing me the path forward. And when we focus all of our attention on the obstacle, then it's very hard to see the path forward. If we're aware of the obstacles, sometimes they themselves are pointing us to the direction of our salvation to the direction of where we want to go. They are showing us the way of flow if we don't go into them, but we use them almost like riverbanks. There's a quote that I know I've used on this podcast before. And I used to think of it by Socrates, you know, online when you look something up and it's like, yeah, it's like the Marianne Williamson quote that was always miss attributed to Nelson Mandela. And then this one was for so long, it said it was from Socrates. And at some point, I was like, This feels really specific, and a little too long. For it to be from an ancient philosopher. I wonder if it's Miss attributed. And so the funny part is, is that it's from Dan Millman, who wrote the Peaceful Warrior, something like that. And in it, he has a character whose name is Socrates. And the quote goes like this. The secret to change is to focus all your energy not on fighting the old, but on building the new. This reminds me of a conversation that was recently had where it was suggested, to me to not present my deepest wound to a person I was wounded. I want to say wounded by that to the person who had done something or acted in a certain way. And instead of going straight to them and saying, Oh, this thing that happened, I'm so hurt by it. But to take that to someone else, who feel stable, and to be with my vulnerability was somebody who was a bit more stable and then go forward. So that is kind of like tending to the wound. And then to go forward Instead of fighting the old building, I knew that I could say to that person, if we are to go forward, here's the way I would like to do it to step into my power of, here are the boundaries here, the thing that we will not do, here are the things that I am open to. And I understand this can be a two way conversation. But it was kind of like it was kind of mind blowing to me that I wouldn't go directly to the person with a thing. And then we'd spend hours in the thing about what happened and who did what and, but to actually heal my myself somewhere else, and then focus on building the new and the relationship that I was willing and wanting to build new in. The reason why I'm going a little deeper into this quote is because an alchemical alignment, or if you were to do a somatic session with me, we wouldn't ignore the old, we wouldn't fight the old either. We would actually meet the old, we might ask the old like, how can we support you what, what are the unmet needs, we might know that there's another place for that pattern to be held. And we might also hold the possibility of the new and the thing that's already well.
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So I'm saying this to say that in healing, it's not always that. And in general, it's not that we ignore what's not there, it's the same way I didn't ignore the defenders, I would have run into somebody, there is a place and a way to be with a wound and to be with a part that hurts, and to not ignore that area of ourselves. And this idea of like parallel play, that two things could be happening, and to spend energy to focus energy on building what it is my desire. Recently, I did a Ziva meditation program. And I don't know if it was in the meditation program, or another thing that was built off of that, but at some point, she recommended writing down through I don't know if she called them goals either. So I'll tell you what it will be for us or the option that I'm going to put out here. But I'll save for her, we'll say it was three work goals and three personal goals. And I wrote three areas in my work that I would love to move towards. And three and my personal. And as I'm sitting here recording, I can look at those areas. And the first one is just a high quality podcast that I love. Yeah, yes, please, excited to be doing that right now. The other is the financial goal. And another one is the partnership. Number two in three 3am in the workings with number two is like getting there. And then I have the personal ones. And there are some days where I can be like, Wow, I'm so glad that's up on my window. I haven't even been paying attention to it. And it's there. And I'm doing it. And today on a day where I was feeling a little funky this morning, I might look at it and say, Oh, I am not reaching these things. I'm failing. But for me, I can really look at them and say Thanks for the reminder. Number one is spaciousness. Number two is fun. This is personal. This is a personal. And I'm a nonspecific generator. So some people are like, alright, you need to be much more specific goals than that. But for me, this works. So with fun, he does have like these mini notes of having adventures, fun with the kids fun with myself and Steve and the girlfriends. And I can look and say, You know what, but I've had a lot of that even if today isn't that I have had a lot of that I have built that in. And the third one is learn something new. And I can still go Oh, those are North Stars. The very first episode with Michael Leary was so much about having a North Star, something that you can look towards, as a that's the direction I'm moving in. And you can even be present with it. It doesn't mean you're always Future Living. You get to be present at the same time. Say this is where I am not trying to be somewhere I'm not I'm not upset that I'm not already there. You kind of hold it lightly as a possibility. And I think when we hold things lightly as a possibility, we begin to take action steps in that direction. without overly attaching our worth, to it having to be complete. In order to feel whole, we get to work towards recognizing our worth and our wholeness in the moment. And then remember our North Stars, and some days we put him in Russia net, and other days further away. And just feeling like in this moment, I'm just feeling really okay with that. Feeling really happy, like really glad that those reminders are up on my window that I can see right now. And help me reprioritize when I start to go in different directions and prioritize more doing or too much for others. And not enough for myself. I want to share one more thing that I had seen before. But this also was a demonstration given in Ziva meditation. And Emily Fletcher took five ping pong balls and fills up a couple of those ping pong balls. And then she put some sand in it. And then she put something say even finer than that in. And it all fits into the cup. And I've seen this before, but the way that I've seen it is like, Oh, look, you can always fit more in, and then maybe you'd pour water in next right, you get to see how much you can actually fit in when you think that you're full. But this was a different different demonstration. Because then she took the same amount of each ingredient. And she put the fine Dustin first, and then the sand or the rocks. And then the ping pong balls, and there was no room for the ping pong balls, they were overflowing. And the point was that when you have your priorities clear, you make sure that your day has the ping pong balls in them first, before adding in all the other things. So as I close up the podcast, I would say if it's helpful to you, if you have any time to get into a space that is centered and grounded, and any alone time to take a pause and write down three areas within your life. Three goals within your personal day to day that you would like to attain and they might be feelings that you would like to have, or it might be a thing or an activity or a skill. And if you have an area of life that you'd call work, and if you don't have an area of life that you call work, and there's another area of life that you'd like to put on, there might be relationships which can fall under personal to you could write down another three. And maybe you put a picture of the river of life around it, or you just understand that there are days that you're crushing it and there are days that you're not and the last that we hold on to the down wave. More we surrender, the easier we flow with the ups and downs. And we're on the down wave if we focus all of our attention on the obstacle, and we never find our way to our path back to our path. And if it's possible for the obstacles to show us clear directive to create the riverbanks then that might be wildly helpful.
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May I have a moment of pause at any point during the day or within the next week. And during that time I write down three things that feel like sacred Northstars worthy of my focus and attention. And as life comes in waves of incredible support or not enough May I remember that I'm part of the way part of the Dow where it's possible to surrender let me And where I'm being asked to step into myself and into my power more May I May I get a clearer vision, even if it's just a glimmer
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a feeling a sensation of what is for me and may let that guide me back to myself over and over and over again. Thank you so much for your time. Blessings are New Beginnings
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thank you for tuning in. It's been such a pleasure. If you're looking for added support, I'm offering a program that's totally free called 21 days of untapped support. It's pretty awesome. It's very easy.
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It's very helpful. You can find it at Sarah tacey.com.
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If you love this episode, please subscribe and like apparently it's wildly useful. So we could just explore what happens when you scroll down to the bottom, subscribe rate, maybe say a thing or two. If you're not feeling it, don't do it. It's totally fine. I look forward to gathering with you again. Thank you so much.