108 - Siri Baruc Thornton: The Humanity of Healing
Welcome back to Threshold Moments. Today I’m joined by Siri Baruc Thornton for a heartfelt conversation about what it means to allow ourselves to be fully human while we heal.
Siri is a healing artist, retreat producer, and founder of sage + blush wellness. With over 30 years of experience in Reiki, Akashic Record reading, and Transformational Breathwork, she helps creatives, visionaries, and leaders expand their capacity to feel good: body, mind, and soul.
Together, we explore:
Receiving the same medicine we offer others
The power and tenderness of co-regulation
Siri’s unique upbringing in an ashram
The quiet rewards of Reiki attunement
Midlife as a time to embrace boundaries
Lessons from Siri’s years in Hollywood
The evolving rhythms of long-term love
Connect with Siri
🌿 Website: sageandblushwellness.com
🎙️ Podcast: The Authentic Creative
📸 Instagram: @siribaructhornton
📩 Contact: siri@sageandblushwellness.com
Episode Transcript
Sarah Tacy [00:00:06]:
Hello, welcome. I'm Sarah Tacy and this is Threshold Moments, a podcast where guests and I share stories about the process of updating into truer versions of ourselves. The path is unknown and the pull feels real. Together we share our grief, laughter, love and life saving tools. Join us. Hello, welcome to Threshold Moments. In this conversation, Siri Baruch Thornton and I really just jump right into it. And so in this moment I'm going to read a bit of her bio.
Sarah Tacy [00:00:52]:
She's a healing artist, a retreat producer, and the founder of Sage and Blush Wellness. She has over 30 years of experience in Reiki. Starting when she was just a teenager. She got into the Akashic records and then also is now a longtime transformational breathwork teacher. She helps creatives, visionaries and leaders expand their capacity to feel good in their body, mind and soul. She's also the host of the Authentic Creative podcast, ranked in the top 2.5% globally where she explores creativity, embodiment and transformation through intimate conversations with artists, healers and thought leaders. At the end, Siri tells you where you can find her the retreats that she's leading this year. And I will also say, as you hear at the beginning, I took a breathwork session with her right before we recorded.
Sarah Tacy [00:01:46]:
It was amazing. And I will also say what I love about this conversation is that we are talking with a woman who was born into an ashram and has that in her first three years of programming a spiritual discipline and inquiry, a mother who was into energy healing and a father who then eventually went into producing movies and into the film world. So she has these worlds that really crisscross. And I really, really appreciate her honesty as we talk about things, as I sometimes am wanting to be like, oh my gosh and tell us how this transformed you forever, where she can say it did. And here are the things I still come up against and here is my human side. Because I think what can happen often is that we come up with these. We have these experiences that feel healing that have really helped us, that help our clients. And it can give this facade that there is a there, there's a point where there's a healing, there's a point where there's less suffering.
Sarah Tacy [00:02:53]:
And this conversation really holds the both and of being human while also finding tools that fe feel good in the body and bring in a sense of unconditional love and a sense of divine presence. So without further ado, please enjoy my conversation with Siri.
Siri Baruc Thrornton [00:03:24]:
My natural thought is that as soon as I think that my kids are a certain way And I've figured them out and I'm like, oh, if I join them when this happens, or if I just laugh about it, or if I just stay quiet or if I just hum or if I to give them space and I walk away and I regulate myself and then they change and all of a sudden they're like more mature in all these other ways, but then still acting super immature and angry and like dysregulated in these ways. And so it's just like a constant discovery. And then also of course myself too. Like I'm changing so totally.
Sarah Tacy [00:04:07]:
Totally.
Siri Baruc Thrornton [00:04:08]:
I'm going through like early menopause, so.
Sarah Tacy [00:04:12]:
I know.
Siri Baruc Thrornton [00:04:13]:
So that's fun.
Sarah Tacy [00:04:14]:
Yeah, super fun. As kids are going like through like getting their first hormones and we're like draining out of ours. What I'll say to my listeners now is welcome. Welcome to Threshold Moments. As you most likely know, my name is Sarah Tacy and today we have with us Siri Baruch Thornton.
Siri Baruc Thrornton [00:04:37]:
You said it really well. Yes you did.
Sarah Tacy [00:04:41]:
Spelling and pronunciation aren't always my top skills and I know how important names are to people. And as I was like, I'm not sure I've said this out loud before.
Siri Baruc Thrornton [00:04:51]:
People usually say either Baruch or Thornton wrong. Or Ciri wrong. So like, good on you. Woo hoo.
Sarah Tacy [00:04:57]:
We'll celebrate that today and I'll let my listeners know that I was just in an hour long breath work experience with Siri and she, she said to me like, I do my best interviews after guiding breath work. And then I just got off and I was like, I don't know if I'll be able to land in this time in place and be a good interviewer. So we shall now see, I didn't plan on that part because I went to many different realms and maybe I'll share a little bit about my experience there and then you could share a little bit about breathwork and about your history too.
Siri Baruc Thrornton [00:05:33]:
Okay.
Sarah Tacy [00:05:34]:
So my work in my life, it's like the work that I teach, but it's the work that I need is the reminders that it's okay. Not only okay, but incredibly beneficial to lay down, to receive, to do something good for myself before all the to dos are done, right? So I'm in the middle of a launch and it would seem quite silly for me to be like, yeah, I'll do this breath work thing when I should be working on my slide deck. And I've had this lesson over and over again while I'm in this throat, like the field of opting out of urgency, of I get to keep all my goals and ambition. And as I take that hour to be with you, to be guided by you, to, like, fully drop into my bed, to be with my breath, to at some point really feel, like, the presence of God in my body, it's like, oh, this is the whole point. This is what we're hoping we're going to get to when we finish the to do list.
Siri Baruc Thrornton [00:06:43]:
Oh, my God. Yes.
Sarah Tacy [00:06:45]:
I was on an Instagram live before where someone said, like, what about all those people who say, well, I can't opt out of urgency because I have, you know, in the list all the things of why you can't. And as I was in the space with you guiding, I was like, oh, like, to honor how true it is, how unfair it is, how stacked it is. Also, like, the way through and out can be these moments of receiving medicine, like, you give. Literally the first part was laying down on the bed. And it's not, like, new to me that this is good medicine for me to lay. But you but, like, to have that guided time with you. And I know you're holding a field and you asked us to imagine a color. I never picked purple.
Sarah Tacy [00:07:32]:
I picked purple, and it brought me, like, right to tears. Oh, wow, Nick, also, your playlist was.
Siri Baruc Thrornton [00:07:40]:
Like, so good, the whole thing. Like, I just.
Sarah Tacy [00:07:44]:
I went through so many layers of, like, relaxed, engaged experience while I was in your container. So.
Siri Baruc Thrornton [00:07:53]:
Oh, nice. I love that. That's perfect. And your cat was right there with you, and she's back.
Sarah Tacy [00:07:59]:
I changed rooms and she's back.
Siri Baruc Thrornton [00:08:01]:
She's like, I love this energy. She's into the Reiki. She was literally drooling.
Sarah Tacy [00:08:07]:
Like, when I, like, got up, I was like, oh, you're into this. You're drooling.
Siri Baruc Thrornton [00:08:12]:
You know what was so beautiful, Sarah? Was. I've said this to you before when I interviewed you on my podcast is I do feel this soul connection with you. Like, I've known you since childhood, kind of Vermont, Maine kind of energy. And it was just really beautiful to have you in the space with, like, my dad and my sister and my brother and my close friends and my Reiki students and people from all different parts of my life. And I just felt like there's no coincidence that these souls came together in this particular moment on September 5th. Like, it's just really special. And I just really, regardless of podcasts and all the formalities, I just really appreciate your energy and the work that you've done on yourself and that you give in the world the Way that you co regulate me is such a gift. Like, I.
Siri Baruc Thrornton [00:09:11]:
I've said this, but like, I am different. I. I journal differently, I speak differently, I do my podcast differently. I even interact with my kids, which we were talking about before we started recording differently.
Sarah Tacy [00:09:25]:
So I think we'll come back to this because what I wanna touch on later, so the pin I'm gonna put on is like, this was your birthday gift to the people you love. And I thought, wow, she must really love doing this.
Siri Baruc Thrornton [00:09:39]:
Yeah.
Sarah Tacy [00:09:40]:
On her birthday. Because sometimes the work I do. I taught yoga for 15 years and when I was off, I was like, I am off. And I loved it. And I'm like, wow, this is what she's choosing.
Siri Baruc Thrornton [00:09:51]:
Well, tomorrow's technically my birthday, so, like, I did give that to myself that like, tomorrow I'm not on in that way. But you're right for sure. I love it that much that it's a birthday gift to me to give it to my people.
Sarah Tacy [00:10:05]:
So generous. So the thing that, I mean, there are probably a lot of things that set you apart, but when you told me that you grew up in an ashram, I was immediately like, you might be like, I don't want to tell the story again.
Siri Baruc Thrornton [00:10:20]:
No, it's fine.
Sarah Tacy [00:10:21]:
Like, but tell me everything about it. Because I imagine that there's like shadow and light. And when I saw your dad there and your siblings, I was really moved that they were there. And so again, I'm just like, what was it like, both the shadow and the light? What did it teach you? And the teachings could be like, along with what the beliefs were, as well as, like, how you separated yourself to find what you really believed. I'm just so curious.
Siri Baruc Thrornton [00:10:51]:
We left when I was like three. Like almost three. So it's very much a foundation for my mom and my dad. They were there in the Sikh Yoga ashram, the Yogi Bhajan ashram, which there's a lot of cult and like shadow coming out now and has been coming out for years about that. And my mom and my dad didn't really have any of that experience. They had quite a pure experience of their yoga practice and the Sanskrit writings and the mantras and working in community and being in commune and wearing all white and wearing the turbans. My mom wore her, you know, the cross turban, white over the front. And it's, you know, it's this Indian tradition.
Siri Baruc Thrornton [00:11:39]:
So she had a high turban. My dad had a high turban. As a baby, I had a turban. But, like, it was just like a baby turban. My body remembers. We visited. And I hear my parents. So my parents got divorced when I was three, when we moved to Vermont.
Siri Baruc Thrornton [00:11:58]:
And I hear them. They're friends. They've always been friends. And they've made a point of staying close to each other as much as they can, communicating as much as they can. So that's like, an incredible blessing. And so when they get together to this day, like, with my stepdad or, you know, my stepmom, if she's there, like, they will reminisce about the ashram. And they love reminiscing about it. They're like this Siri Kar Khalsa.
Siri Baruc Thrornton [00:12:26]:
Like, that was. My name was Siri Karkhalsa. We changed my name from Khalsa, but I still have the Siri Khar. My dad was Sing Sing Khalsa. My mom was Sahari Kar Khalsa. And there's a number of spiritual leaders, like, Tara Brock was my mom's roommate, for example. Like, there's a number of spiritual leaders that, like, they're still friends with. And that's very much infused the foundations for me.
Siri Baruc Thrornton [00:12:57]:
My mom talks about that she prayed for a high soul. And I think that that chanting and the yoga and the discipline in the practices are very much a foundation, I would say, even though I don't remember a lot of it, hearing the stories, and it just has become actually, like, part of my identity with my name is a Sikh name that the yogi gave me when I was born, at home on the futon, at home in the ashram, like, so it. It feels special to me. And I also know, like you said, there's a shadow. And I'm glad that we left and we needed to leave because my par had gotten really sick, and it was too dogmatic and too rigid and too disciplined and too culty. And my dad actually had to basically lie and say that he was going to start because he was a leader in the ashram. And he basically had to say he was going to start an ashram in Vermont in order to not have there be an issue. He was afraid that my mom and I would stay and that he wouldn't get to see us.
Siri Baruc Thrornton [00:14:07]:
And so he just didn't really. Didn't really share with anyone what ultimately he was gonna do, which is just, like, take off his turban and separate from my mom and start a new life. And then he eventually got into show business in Hollywood and being a producer, a Hollywood producer and Hollywood distributor of films and So I also was into acting and, like, then that kind of wove into my story as I grew up and became an actor. So I've always had this acting track and then passion and this spiritual healing. My mom continued with learning Reiki and I learned Reiki from my mom. So those have always been there simultaneously.
Sarah Tacy [00:14:55]:
What I'm loving, and I'm not sure if this is true, but it sounds like through your parents, these things weave meaning. When you got into Reiki, it's not something that's, you know, as I said, I was like, oh, very meat and potatoes. Like, when I had my first experiences with energy, I was like, what is this?
Siri Baruc Thrornton [00:15:12]:
This is weird.
Sarah Tacy [00:15:13]:
Like, I don't get it. I've never heard of healers or healing or. But in your world, your mom is like, reiki, let me teach you about it. And that your dad had this really in depth time in an ashram and did show business. And so I imagine, like, I think of all these things that could be opposition, like, you know, the muggle world versus the deep spiritual magic energy world. Show business and spirituality could often be thought of as two different things. But it sounds like your parents were always weaving these, because I like just reading about you. It seemed like different segments.
Sarah Tacy [00:15:52]:
There was the ashram and was like, how did she go from ashram to being an actress?
Siri Baruc Thrornton [00:15:58]:
Yeah.
Sarah Tacy [00:15:59]:
I don't know. Was that a threshold or was that pretty natural?
Siri Baruc Thrornton [00:16:02]:
Yeah, well, threshold moments, I would say. One being the splitting of my home. When I was little, I felt shaky. Everything always felt unpredictable, out of control. Like, I was angry, did not feel regulated. I did not feel. I felt safe in certain ways, Sarah. I felt safe to express and to be authentic and to be myself and to be creative, hence the authentic creative.
Siri Baruc Thrornton [00:16:33]:
But I didn't feel safe in terms of, like, structure and boundaries and predictability. And so I very much needed all of those things. My parents didn't know what nervous system regulation was, of course. Breath work, yes, through yoga. But there wasn't these types of responsive parenting practices that we have now. So they were just like, we are kind of figuring it out as we go flailing around, experimenting. So I would, like, bounce back and forth between houses for a while. And that was really hard.
Siri Baruc Thrornton [00:17:08]:
I really struggled and I was angry for a very long time. I was scared and I didn't feel like I fit in. I always wanted to be my own unique self, but I didn't want to be a follower. But I also, like, in seventh grade, like, ate my lunch in the bathroom stall a couple Times, because I was like, I don't wanna sit with them, and I don't wanna sit alone. And so, like, what do I do? I just eat in the bathroom stall. When my dad left when I was in seventh grade, that was a threshold moment. Cause it was like, ooh, I'm not good enough or worthy enough. I'm not important enough.
Siri Baruc Thrornton [00:17:45]:
I don't mean enough for him to stay. And so I really took that in as, like, the story of being abandoned.
Sarah Tacy [00:17:51]:
Mm.
Siri Baruc Thrornton [00:17:52]:
My best friend left at the same time in seventh grade, like, right when my dad moved to New York. But then there was, like, specialness. Cause I got to fly every month from Vermont to New York. So there were these, like, contrasting things happening with Reiki. My mom had debilitating migraine headaches, and she would be in bed a lot of my childhood. She was just in bed. And she found Reiki as one of these solutions for herself. And, you know, she had even, like, had to try steroids and various things that were, like, really hard for her.
Siri Baruc Thrornton [00:18:28]:
And she had a lot of trauma from her childhood. She wasn't really able. And I don't know if she's ever been able to fully heal or process all of the childhood trauma that she had. But she does really amazing, important work in the world. And point being is, when she first introduced Reiki to me as a teenager, I was like, what is this, Mom? What are you doing? Like, I was quite a teenager about it. But then my soul, my heart was. My cells were like, yes, please. Like, opened up and drew it in.
Siri Baruc Thrornton [00:19:02]:
And then, yes, I was, like, on board. I remember the first time I got an attunement. Right, because you've been Reiki attuned. Crumbling of the anger, the crumbling of the fear, the crumbling of the walls. That was a threshold moment as a teenager. And then I'll pause here, because I've said a lot.
Sarah Tacy [00:19:22]:
No, like, so what shifted for you? So I hear the anger, and it makes sense. The feeling of abandonment. And what I'm hearing is, during this Reiki attunement, that a lot of that emotion moved.
Siri Baruc Thrornton [00:19:34]:
Yeah.
Sarah Tacy [00:19:35]:
What did it feel like afterwards? Like, what changed for you on the outside when the inside changed?
Siri Baruc Thrornton [00:19:43]:
Well, in that moment, I will say I think it was that feeling of God and source and unconditional love for the. Not the first time, but, like, in a palpable, visceral way that was just undeniable. And then from there, I think that very much became a touch point throughout my adult life of, oh, this is what unconditional Love feels like, because so many people don't know what that feels like. I was able to access that for myself and to give that to others.
Sarah Tacy [00:20:16]:
Wow.
Siri Baruc Thrornton [00:20:18]:
So that's the greatest gift.
Sarah Tacy [00:20:21]:
Do you still access that when you do? Do you access that when you do breath work? Access it when you have Reiki done on you? Do you do Reiki to yourself? Fill me in. How do you access God and unconditional love?
Siri Baruc Thrornton [00:20:36]:
Very much through Reiki, for sure. And there's to this day, physical proof of the Reiki working immediately. As soon as I like, I like to lay down on my side when I'm napping or going to bed and place my hands like a scarf around my neck with my wrists touching and give Reiki to my neck. That's very comforting to me. I was doing this last night and immediately there's bodily sensations and popping and sounds and movement, and it's just clear proof that energy is moving, that love is being felt like that the whole system is regulating. So that's just incredibly powerful, that superpower. As you know, we all have. We all have it intrinsically, and we're all kind of doing it in our own way, probably with whether it's like with our pet or if we're a mom, we intrinsically are gonna put our hands over a cut knee.
Siri Baruc Thrornton [00:21:42]:
And it's just that with so many of the things that I do, I'm sort of like an artist of the invisible, that it's always going to be available, but it's not always going to be our logic brain getting on board with like, oh, yeah, like, this is my superpower. I have. We don't all know it in our body. And I think what's beautiful about a Reiki attunement, it makes it so clear, whether it's tears or just a feeling of energy sloughing off and clunking down, whether it's like some sort of sign is always shown to people, to my Reiki students, or for myself when I've had these experiences. But yes, that feeling of unconditional love, that feeling of being connected to God and source, everyone has their own way of accessing it. And some people have not yet. But I will say that I think that one of the most predictable ways is through getting attuned with Reiki. I just had a first and second degree Reiki certification retreat, and it was just so rewarding to see women step into their loving power, their soft power, their trust of themselves, their groundedness as.
Sarah Tacy [00:23:04]:
You put your hands around your neck. I imagine for some people that would trigger them. But the other thing that I was thinking, I was like, oh, how interesting. Your vagus nerve lies on either side of your neck, right near the carotid artery. Right. And so I was just beginning to listen to a Tim Ferriss episode. Cause my husband's like, you should listen to this. And it's with a doctor who his team and his company have created.
Sarah Tacy [00:23:29]:
And I think it's actually. There have been companies who have done this for over 20 years, but an electrode that goes in to really tone the vagus nerve and that people. You know, one guy has said, like, my HRV tripled. There was a woman who had Crohn's and rheumatoid arthritis who couldn't walk, who was, like, running upstairs in two weeks. And so I'm even thinking about what happens when we attuned to the pace of Reiki energy. And in that specific scenario where I imagine that you're also really toning the vagus nerve, that it has, you know, over a hundred thousand strains on each side. So it starts as two, and then it, like, opens up like a tree. Yeah, like tree roots.
Sarah Tacy [00:24:15]:
Yes. To touch almost every part of your body, or at least a nerve that then touches another part of your body. And so as you had your hands there, I was like, oh, my gosh. She's probably just turning up the vagus nerve, which is, like, turns the inflammation down. That's like one of the major things they're finding is that all of so many of our diseases are inflammatory.
Siri Baruc Thrornton [00:24:36]:
Yep.
Sarah Tacy [00:24:37]:
Because they're chronic, not because inflammation's bad in small doses, Just like the sympathetic. And so, yeah, I was just. As your hands were there, I was like, oh, you know, instead of putting an implant in there, just some Reiki hands around the neck.
Siri Baruc Thrornton [00:24:51]:
That's just what I was thinking. Sarah is like, I know there's all these amazing instruments. We are the. I think we're the best medicine. I think we are the best instrument. I think we don't actually need as much as we think we do a lot of the time that we can just actually heal ourselves. Of course, we need doctors. And for certain things, if I'm not gonna, like, not go to the doctor if I break my wrist.
Sarah Tacy [00:25:14]:
Totally.
Siri Baruc Thrornton [00:25:14]:
But yeah, I know. I know you were able to heal through a lot of energy work with your back.
Sarah Tacy [00:25:21]:
Well, yes. And, like. And my back still shows up. Like, it still has messages for me. And during the time of great pain, chronic is when I started having experiences with energy. And I was really unsure about Reiki Yeah. What came through me came through in way that felt so pure. Unfiltered would be the wrong word, but it just like had its own intelligence that knew what to do.
Sarah Tacy [00:25:53]:
So there was no, like, memorization of phrases or ways to move my hands. My hands would kind of just go where they wanted to go or where I felt the impulse. And then I would feel waves back. And sometimes I would see or feel emotions in different parts of the body. And I would say the untrained part that made it something that I moved away from slowly was like, eventually it was like, oh, now I. Now I feel the pain in my body. Right. So it's like, oh, I know it's working because my hip on the opposite side is feeling it.
Sarah Tacy [00:26:25]:
Like, I can feel the waves through my hands. And then even if I tell myself that's not mine and it doesn't belong here, I just noticed how often I was like picking up other people's stuff. So it was like very rare that I would then put my hands on anybody. But if somebody had a condition that was kind of like chronic unhealable for those years, I would help. And it was always mind blowing to me.
Siri Baruc Thrornton [00:26:51]:
Just like, what is happening?
Sarah Tacy [00:26:52]:
I don't know why it's happening, how it's happening, that their pain would go away and that they would have this full range of motion. And part of that is what sent me into studying anatomy was like, can I help people help themselves? Because there is a journey to be had.
Siri Baruc Thrornton [00:27:08]:
Yeah, I think that's what it's all about. Helping people help themselves. Yeah.
Sarah Tacy [00:27:12]:
Yeah. Because I was like, well, if I just heal it for them, then they.
Siri Baruc Thrornton [00:27:16]:
Then that's codependency. Totally.
Sarah Tacy [00:27:19]:
It's a whole lesson gets taken away. But what I'm hearing with your Reiki is that people still get lessons. Like, they still get insights from the divine or the sense of divine love or unconditional love.
Siri Baruc Thrornton [00:27:33]:
Yeah. And I think in the beginning it's natural with any practice because I practice Buddhism too. And it's like, it's not about blind faith. It's not about dogma and do this and just believe or because they said so or any of that. It's like, no, you should be skeptical and find proof for yourself and see if this works for you and have your own watershed moment. And then if it feels good to share it and be an extension of it for others, when and if and in your own discernment, you know, give that to others. That's not for everyone wanting to be a practitioner for Others or wanting to be a teacher of energy work for others, as we know. Like, what's interesting for me is I worked for many years with a teacher named Michael Tamura, who's since passed and probably 10 years, a decade of, like, meditation and spiritual tools and psychic work.
Siri Baruc Thrornton [00:28:32]:
And what I have as the foundation of every single thing I do, whether it's Reiki teaching Reiki teaching Reiki students, or teaching Akashic students, or doing breath work, as you just experienced, I walk you guys through the grounding and running energy, and everyone has their own version of that, so I totally encourage that. But for me, it's always pretty much very similar with the same foundation of, like, step by step. And that grounding and running energy before I work on someone else is not taught in the Reiki books. It's not taught by the Reiki teachers that I learned from specifically. It's like, they might mention, like, hey, ground. But for me, it's very much foundational. Like, we gotta be in our own bubble first and feeling really secured to the core of Mama Earth first and, like, connected to Father sky first. But as you know, with the Reiki, like, the way that it flows, technically, we're not taking it on.
Siri Baruc Thrornton [00:29:34]:
It's coming through source, through our. Down our crown and down our third eye and down our throat and into our heart and out the extension of our heart through our hands, as you know. And so, like, that direction of flow is very much for the other person, not coming from me, Siri, coming from source. And so I get to receive, as you know, I get to receive the benefit. It's like, you can't spray perfume on someone else without getting a little bit on yourself. I get to receive it. I love that. Which, you know, I think that's why I did the birthday breathwork thing.
Siri Baruc Thrornton [00:30:07]:
It's like, I get to receive the love and receive the regulation. I'm sure, like, when you're, you know, leading for one of Kate Northrop's big groups, it's like you're receiving the regulation while you're giving it. So I think it's amazing.
Sarah Tacy [00:30:21]:
Totally. And I remember feeling that so clearly when I would teach yoga. I would purposely not do the flow so that I could walk around. But the momentum of my voice, the ups, the downs, the, like, feeling into the room, the wa. When the class was over, my body felt like I had done the whole physical practice.
Siri Baruc Thrornton [00:30:41]:
Wow, I love that.
Sarah Tacy [00:30:42]:
Oh, like, it felt, you know, after a physical practice where things had been stretched and strengthened and the fluids had been moved and The. All the good hormones and the state of presence and the benefits of the Shavasana. It's like it's over. And I was like, you know, I always just felt like I. Oh, I got that too. And I wasn't actually even doing the physical part with them.
Siri Baruc Thrornton [00:31:05]:
I like to take my own recorded classes.
Sarah Tacy [00:31:08]:
You do for breath work or for.
Siri Baruc Thrornton [00:31:09]:
Yeah, for breath work.
Sarah Tacy [00:31:11]:
I love that. I listen to podcasts sometimes because I. Sometimes I'm not. I hear what I like. Right now I'm hearing, and I think I'm hearing the whole thing. And when I listen back, it's like I get to, like, the medicine from the other person or from the conversation drops in deeper in my remembering. Better.
Siri Baruc Thrornton [00:31:29]:
Same.
Sarah Tacy [00:31:30]:
Yeah, I love that. That's so good. So kind of go sequential here.
Siri Baruc Thrornton [00:31:37]:
Sure.
Sarah Tacy [00:31:38]:
So then there's the Reiki attunement. There's that feeling of knowing what unconditional love is. Being able to hold that up against other situations, which I assume then play off of, like, the relationships you get into or you don't, knowing that we're still human. How does it play? How does having Reiki in your back pocket or in your practice affect you as you go into Hollywood?
Siri Baruc Thrornton [00:32:03]:
Oh, wow. So it's interesting. You said kind of like you were talking about the contrast and relationships and, like, feeling that unconditional love and being in relationship. I just want to touch on that because I've never been asked that before, and that's so cool. And I love how you said being human, because we all have our karmic lessons, and I've had many partners throughout life where I very much was giving them Reiki and regulating them at the same time, regulating myself and being their healer and also having a lot of abusive situations come up and situations where I wasn't able to find my center or honor myself or find my sovereignty or know my worth, really, until I met my husband.
Sarah Tacy [00:32:57]:
Mm.
Siri Baruc Thrornton [00:32:58]:
So that's interesting, because Reiki is all about unconditional love, and it's a lifelong practice, and there's so many avenues to finding how to respect and love ourselves deeper. I think for me, that feels like a lifelong journey. It's never over of, like, how could I love myself deeper?
Sarah Tacy [00:33:18]:
I don't know you that well. And so I'm curious if this feels like it fits. I have found that some of the most intelligent women I know with the biggest hearts, when we're curious about unconditional love, can get into relationships with people who we, like, see the beauty in. And I would think probably the Shadow side of unconditional love is almost like hooding up with too much, being boundaried and being like, oh, but I know they didn't mean it because I know this happened to them as a child. How could I resource myself more? How could I, you know, And. And I think sometimes people who are really reflective, who want to see how they can grow, that would take too much responsibility. Yeah, too much responsibility as opposed to, like, f. No, you can figure this out.
Sarah Tacy [00:34:16]:
But. But especially, like, if we're, like, putting ourselves into. We recognize ourselves within the archetype of healer. Like, whether or not we've put that name or hat on how often that is coupled with Might not be the right word to say, like, the unhealed, because I don't see us as, like, healed and unhealed, but it can be easy to be taken advantage of until maybe we get enough of the lessons and eventually find, like, what you were talking about, like, that sovereignty, which becomes a lifelong practice of how do I become a sovereign being while being interdependent, while being woven into the community, while being a tree with roots that touches the mycelium and the roots of other trees, and recognizing, like. I mean, that is a specific dance that I find myself really continuing to grow into.
Siri Baruc Thrornton [00:35:11]:
I will be totally honest. I am not the victim, and I am not. Not that you were saying that I was, but I've very much been just as much the cause of, you know, the Joni Mitchell song of, like, we both get sad. I get sad, too. You know, like, and we both get so blue. I've definitely been at the cause of that. Like, I can't say, like, oh, I'm the healed one. I'm the healer.
Siri Baruc Thrornton [00:35:38]:
I'm just, like, taking care of these. These angry men that are so horrible to me. It's like, no, I very much had my anger and have all of my rage and all of my dysregulation and all of my shadow, and I own that. So, yeah, I mean, obviously we could talk a lot about relationship. But I will say that what you're saying is all makes so much sense and all true and boundaries being the key word that I thought for a very long time, up until maybe a year ago was like, ugh, overused with this fucking word. Okay, I get it. Yes. Boundaries, yes.
Siri Baruc Thrornton [00:36:19]:
Okay. But, like, now, I just. Only a year ago, I'm, as you know, turning 47. Like, I get it now. Okay? And I'm sure I'll continue to have deeper understanding of boundaries with myself, the bully within myself There needs to be a boundary there with my children, the way that I teach them how to treat me with my partner, with teachers, with people who want to take, have I say take my money, with people who want, who want to have an energetic exchange that is fascinating that, that journey of learning about how important boundaries actually really are. Oh, and then the Hollywood thing.
Sarah Tacy [00:37:11]:
Wait, pause before Hollywood.
Siri Baruc Thrornton [00:37:13]:
Yeah.
Sarah Tacy [00:37:13]:
I just want to thank you for saying all that. I think that's what's really beautiful. So with threshold moments, there's this idea of being accompanied and there can be a part in me that doesn't do it on purpose, but does it and doesn't want it to happen at the same time of like, oh, and tell me all about this healed way and can, you know, okay, then we have unconditional love that we get to now we're never going to do anything but that. And so I love the humanness of like this was and is important to me and I'm still humaning and I'm still running into these patterns. And so I think it's really important because I could even question my own work sometimes, like, oh, I teach all this stuff, but I'm still like having this really hard moment or I can't outrun being human. And so I really appreciate you just speaking really honestly. I think it helps to de pedestal the idea of like energy expert or teacher of teachers or the oh, follow us as opposed to like, see what this does for you. And you're still going to be human.
Sarah Tacy [00:38:24]:
But like, how does this weave into your life in a way that you know, does it feel good? Does it not? And so I just want to thank you for saying that. And now we can go into Hollywood.
Siri Baruc Thrornton [00:38:32]:
Oh yeah. And there's no, like, what you're saying is there's no magic pill. There's no magic. This attunement or this not that I have found. I mean, practicing Buddhism for 17 years, I'm still human. Like practicing Reiki for 30 years, still human. Practicing journaling for my whole life, still human. Like, gosh, there's no tool or teacher that I think takes.
Siri Baruc Thrornton [00:39:01]:
But that's. Isn't that the beauty of it too? Right? Like, because if we were just like these perfect, heavenly, regulated beings that are always in unconditional love, like, where's the lesson in that? Where's the compassion that we find for others in that? But the Hollywood piece, I was very. Until the sort of the end of me actively being an actor, I was professionally acting in film and TV and commercials, like national commercials. Like 30 feature films. I was the lead in a lot of those films, and I got to travel around the world and act with pretty cool people. I found it very much an isolating, lonely, dysregulating, challenging experience in terms of self worth, in terms of my body, in terms of relationships, getting caught up in fantasy, getting caught up in experiences of, you know, feeling like my worth is outside of myself, anxiety, depression, like none of it was stabilizing. I loved theater growing up, and I think those are some of my best moments, was just being on stage, doing theater in high school or community theater. And I had some incredible moments that I would never give up when I was acting in film, and even the commercials and moments that I think most people will never get to experience.
Siri Baruc Thrornton [00:40:45]:
So it was all really amazing. And now with the podcast, I get to produce it. I get to be the star of it. I get to create. I like crafting it. I like being in control of it. To wait for someone else to say, you get the part or not.
Sarah Tacy [00:41:02]:
Oh, I love that. Sarah Jenks had this big ceremony in Boston at the church that she grew up going to preschool in, the first church ever built in Boston. And she's a priestess. And she, at some point during the ceremony, was like, as if I was waiting my whole life for them to ask me to come give a ceremony here at the church. But she's like, you can't wait for somebody to invite you. She's like, so I rented it on a Monday, right? And she did. And people came from all over the country, probably beyond. And she wove in the sacred feminine while honoring the place that they were, while also bringing in three different women who had closer lineage to their native ancestors.
Sarah Tacy [00:41:54]:
And one woman native to the Canadian land was now called Canada, who also then in the afternoon, shared their cultural lineage. And I just say, I know that was a hard left and just that element of not waiting to get the part to say, this is what I want to bring to the world. And so I'm going to do it. I'm going to create the conditions in which it's possible. And I think that's a really beautiful thing to take home. And so if I were to take home a few things during this conversation, I know you just said that at the end, but it's, you know, creating the conditions to step into who we're here to be without waiting for somebody else to hand it to us. And there's this element of divinity and journaling, right? So it's like, I don't want to. It's not like hyper individualism either.
Sarah Tacy [00:42:46]:
And the other part that I want to say, I've really heard throughout this thing, this whole conversation, is the honoring of the bullf. And yes, we hear you honoring the both and all the way through. And that's really good medicine for me, and I'm sure it's really good medicine for anybody listening in. I can forget, and then I'm reminded. So I love reminders in this. In this gentle way that makes it so just like, of course. Yeah, of course.
Siri Baruc Thrornton [00:43:17]:
Yeah. Like, I had to go through these experiences with men where I was outsourcing to then find Buddhism, to then find my center, to then find, like, this strength within me, to then be scared to fall in love and be like, wait, no, no, I've got this now. I'm good now. Don't. Don't, like, make me fall to. Then, like, learn the interdependence with somebody else and walk that path with them and learn how to honor someone in all of their shadow and all of their gifts. And I think that's also one of the greatest things we can do is, like, just actually learn how to love someone well. I mean, that's a skill.
Sarah Tacy [00:44:07]:
If I were to finish that sentence, I would say to learn to love somebody well and to be loved well. Does that feel accurate?
Siri Baruc Thrornton [00:44:16]:
Yes, for sure. For sure. Because receiving. Oh, my goodness, sounds like that's a practice, right? If my husband says, you're so beautiful today, can I, like, actually let it in, like, all the way to my toes, or am I just gonna be like, thanks?
Sarah Tacy [00:44:35]:
And even that high, which I'm sure you know from acting cue, but the high, like, thanks.
Siri Baruc Thrornton [00:44:40]:
Yeah, that's like, up here pushing up.
Sarah Tacy [00:44:42]:
And out of energy, right? And if it were, like, the pause and letting it sink in, there's a downward flow. I recently, and maybe it was one of the most important things that happened to me this year was when somebody said to me, like, the amount that my husband loves me, could it ever be enough? Something like that, right? And I just had this moment of deep recognition that I was holding on to resentment and that behind the wall that was put up very purposely, very wisely years ago, directly behind that, in a place that is now very safe, is, like, an unending amount of love. And so what I've gotten the practice of doing this year is to, like, crack open that space just a little bit, actually be in recognition of the love that is literally just waiting for me. It's like, oh, you're ready to receive me. And in that I can be in awe of him and I think we have been open more to the flow of that love and appreciation.
Siri Baruc Thrornton [00:45:59]:
How long have you guys been married?
Sarah Tacy [00:46:01]:
I think this is year 13.
Siri Baruc Thrornton [00:46:05]:
Okay.
Sarah Tacy [00:46:06]:
We started dating in 2008.
Siri Baruc Thrornton [00:46:08]:
Yeah. So you know that feeling of like, oh, this is like the next level of love and it feels the quotes boring feeling, but that's actually like true love.
Sarah Tacy [00:46:26]:
Gabby Reese. We were on our fifth anniversary. We were with Gabby Reese and Laird Hamilton. They were putting on something in Maine. Laird Hamilton is a big wave surfer. Gabby was. She has a podcast and was professional volleyball player. Uh huh.
Sarah Tacy [00:46:40]:
I find her to be very wise and my experience with her during those couple days was like she'd spend, sit down, look into the soul of who you are and name things so precisely. And it was my birthday and two days later, our anniversary. And she said, you know, as long as you're alive, birthdays come every year, but anniversaries you have to work for. And she often tells publicly the story of when she was just like, it's over, you know, between she and Laird. And I had heard from her and a few other people that most relationships will get to a place where you're like, no. And I couldn't imagine that. Like at that point I'm like, I don't know if that'll happen to me. I kind of hope it won't.
Sarah Tacy [00:47:20]:
You know, when people talk about Dark Night of the Soul. But just like, yeah, that long love of staying long enough for me at some point it was actually like needing to choose a space and time to really like, how do I tune into myself? How do I find myself here? Where have I gone? Like, I really just needed space and time to like have that inquiry. Yeah. It's been such a journey and he's done so much work on himself. So much. And like, which is why you're still together.
Siri Baruc Thrornton [00:47:52]:
Because I can't see you or me being with someone who wouldn't do work on themselves. It would just wouldn't work.
Sarah Tacy [00:47:58]:
And there are so many. I just feel like there are so many women in, you know, similar to you and I, who it's kind of like you just keep doing the work because you're going to do it and then your partner is going to meet you or they're not. And what a gift when they do. Yeah, what a gift. Because it's not something that we can force on anybody and then we're in it together.
Siri Baruc Thrornton [00:48:18]:
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Sarah Tacy [00:48:20]:
It was so great to hear more about your life and we started the conversation with me speaking a little bit about my experience in your breath work. And so if you were to take a moment or two, just speak about what your offerings are now, where people could find you, what you offer, I'm sure I could just now speak firsthand and say, it felt so good being in your container.
Siri Baruc Thrornton [00:48:47]:
Thank you, Sarah. That means a lot coming from you. And I obviously love breathwork. I love Reiki, I love akashic record reading, which all of those things are access points. And you can find me on Instagram. Iri Baruch Thornton. My website is sageandblush wellness.com and the thing that I'm so in love with right now are the Goddess of Light retreats, which I know you've seen some footage of, and you can see footage of it on my Instagram, but it's. It's just lighting me up so much together.
Siri Baruc Thrornton [00:49:25]:
Women who are leaders, specifically, but also, you don't have to be a leader. I mean, we're all leaders, but like women who hold space for others. And it's like, no, you get to have this too.
Sarah Tacy [00:49:38]:
Yeah, I can see that from the video where, like, what I notice most women love so much about retreats is when somebody caringly and lovingly makes them food. So even when I just saw, like, somebody bringing out food, I was like, ah. And then the sound bowls and the music and the breathing and then just my other thing I find is that when women circle together, it's like thoughts that I might have that I think aren't connected. When another woman starts telling her story, all of these connections start weaving together and the world makes sense in a whole new way. And so there's something so powerful that happens when women get together, I think, especially in a small enough group who are. Their nervous systems are tended to with great care, where all the creativity and the divine wisdom just starts, like coming out left and right and weaving and.
Siri Baruc Thrornton [00:50:27]:
Gold threads and all the things. It's so good. Yeah. And you'll never be the same.
Sarah Tacy [00:50:32]:
Yeah. When I think about the work that I do, the number of hours I spend at my computer, the most important shift to my work is being in containers like this.
Siri Baruc Thrornton [00:50:42]:
Yeah. Amen. So if you want to come to a Goddess of Light retreat in Mount Hood Village, Oregon, it's gorgeous. There. We do all the things cacao ceremony and cold plunge and singing. There's a private concert. I have actually probably three women lining up for private concert. Like, it's going to be almost like a little festival.
Sarah Tacy [00:51:04]:
That's so good.
Siri Baruc Thrornton [00:51:05]:
It's going to be amazing. Thank you so much, Zaya. I so appreciate you. I appreciate you, too.
Sarah Tacy [00:51:11]:
Bye everybody. Check out the link in the show notes. Thank you for tuning in. It's been such a pleasure. If you're looking for added support, I'm offering a program that's totally free called 21 Days of Untapped Support. It's pretty awesome. It's very easy. It's very helpful.
Sarah Tacy [00:51:37]:
You can find it@Sarah Tacy.com and if you love this episode, please subscribe. And like, apparently it's wildly useful, so we could just explore what happens when you scroll down to the bottom. Subscribe rate, maybe say a thing or two. If you're not feeling it, don't do it. It's totally fine. I look forward to gathering with you again. Thank you. Sat.