039 - Kimothy Joy: Stepping Into Your Creativity
Welcome, friends. Today, I am so happy to have my friend Kimothy Joy on the podcast for a conversation about nourishing our creative spirits.
Kimothy is an artist and author who combines watercolor painting and hand-lettered artwork to uplift and inspire women worldwide. Together, we explore her creative practice.
Join us for a soulful conversation about:
Kimothy’s path back to painting
The power of stepping into your creativity
Finding resonance in aligning yourself with what you’re meant to do
Why it’s important to cultivate community
Embracing the wing women in our lives
Connect with Sarah
Connect with Kimothy
Episode Transcript
Sarah Tacy [00:00:05]
Hello welcome, I'm Sarah Tacy and this is Threshold Moments, the podcast where guests and I share stories about the process of updating into truer versions of ourselves. The path is unknown and the pull feels real. Together we share our grief, laughter, love and life saving tools. Join us. Welcome to Threshold Moments.
Sarah Tacy [00:00:39]
My name is Sarah Tacy, and today we have with us Kimothy Joy. I am going to do a slightly unusual intro or bio. I've put Kimothy's bio on one page and in her very first book, that's what she said. Wise words from influential women. Kimothy has an introduction that I feel like really gets to the heart and the base of where so much of her work began and the influence behind some of it.
Sarah Tacy [00:01:17]
Much of it. So these are her words. My understanding of female power and fortitude began at a very early age. My mother accomplished much in her lifetime, despite her humble beginnings. She was the eldest of eight children in a Mexican American family and the first and only person in her family to go to college and earn a master's degree.
[Sarah Tacy 00:01:50]
As an entrepreneur, school teacher and spiritual leader, she was the breadwinner for a family of six and a pillar of our community to her last breath at just 55 years of age, she was patient and steadfast even in the face of breast cancer, encouraging me to continue to find joy and seize the day. Go have fun, Gimme, she told me. Through her, I learned one of the most important lessons, that strength and resilience of women are limitless. The 2016 election was a pivotal moment for me. I had already begun to dip my toes into various women's empowerment campaigns.
Sarah Tacy [00:02:42]
I'm skipping forward a little bit. The election was more than just a political drama playing out. It was about the collective story of women, yet another set back in our striving to gain influence and leadership in our society. I wanted to bring a sincere message of empowerment, respect and hope for women to a conversation where those elements are often lacking. So I sat down immediately after the Election Day and began to do what I do best.
Sarah Tacy [00:03:13]
I picked up my paintbrush and painted my feelings. Kimothy Joy is a mother, an entrepreneur, a joy seeker, a circular, and an empowerment specialist to women who also expresses her gifts through watercolor and ink. She primarily paints portraits of heroines of the past and present to honor the feminine strength within all of us. Her art is a prayer for the world and her art acts like a friend that has walked her through grief and turned her angst into art, hope and joy. Kimothy's first book that she wrote and illustrated starting the day after the election with a cheeky title.
Sarah Tacy [00:04:00]
That's what she said. Wise words for influential women. Two weeks later, and we'll touch on this in a little bit, but two weeks later, she gave birth to her daughter Luca Joy and my notes. I'm like, what? Cheeky little daughter too.
Sarah Tacy [00:04:17]
So the podcast is Threshold Moments, and I'm kind of sitting here. I was like, do we start at the threshold of when you began to put paintbrush to paper after the election, What began to transpire for you? What was that like?
Kimothy Joy [00:04:36]
Yeah, so I guess just rewinding a little bit, I mean, I've always expressed myself creatively as a kid. There's so many images of me just lying on the kitchen floor, little overalls like Osh, what is that? Oshkosh, Oshkosh, Oshkosh overalls Like I have this vivid image of me on the floor like drawing. And just I remember doing that since I was so young, just intently like putting hand to paper. And that felt safe for me, like my way to express and just let myself get lost in my imagination and creativity.
Kimothy Joy [00:05:14]
And so in my childhood, that was just like a big thing for me. But yeah, as I aged into adulthood and went to college, I did study commercial art. And I knew I would want, I wanted to do something creative, but I was being a little more pragmatic about it. Like, what's the job market? Like, how am I going to make money?
Kimothy Joy [00:05:32]
And that's kind of the feedback I got from my parents in my community growing up in Ohio. And so I was like, OK, I didn't see many examples of people making a living as an artist, so I didn't feel like that was an option. So I thought, OK, there are there are these options available like be an art teacher or who's making money from doing the creative things. And it seemed like commercial art, graphic design, like more like technical crafts were a more viable blank pathway. So that's what I studied.
Kimothy Joy [00:06:03]
I kind of followed but felt safer. And I did become a graphic designer for a while and then a photographer. And I didn't return to painting until like, maybe 2 years before the election in 2016. So I was about 30. And it was such an awakening for me.
Kimothy Joy [00:06:24]
And I love that you said, you know, watercolors and painting have been a friend, but I've walked alongside. And you said that so beautifully. I just want to like, remember that forever. So that's exactly what it was. It was, yeah, like a rebirth moment and letting my inner child out and just plain express the way I used to as a remembering.
Kimothy Joy [00:06:46]
And I just been through a breakup with someone that felt really painful and didn't have a lot of like coping mechanisms at the time, but I just. Yeah, it actually was in the circle of friends, a circle women at my dining room table in my apartment in Denver. They really were showing up for me during that breakup. And one friend, Jolene, wanted to dabble in painting for her wedding invitations, and she brought over watercolors and wine. And we sat at the table and we all just started painting.
Kimothy Joy [00:07:20]
And that was the start of everything. And I hadn't painted with watercolors since college. And I was 30 at that point. So that was like a major opening for me, just being with my friends, like laughing, crying, I don't know, talking about everything, wine and painting, playing. And yeah, it was.
Kimothy Joy [00:07:42]
I had never really explored watercolor because I couldn't control it. I liked oil and acrylic, and I like portraits. And when I went to art school. And so that was even new for me, like exploring the medium of watercolor and just letting it flow, not having to control everything. And it was like, it was a friend. It was like a collaborator. It would just do its own thing. And I was like, I had to be patient with it and slow down. And I had never slowed down my whole life. It's like, go, go be productive, produce.
Kimothy Joy [00:08:11]
And so it was a teacher do for me like immediately. I just like, what is this? It's a little frustrating, a little bit triggering, like working with it. But it's taught me so much. And yeah, it was that day with friends that night sitting in a circle just painting.
Kimothy Joy [00:08:27]
And my friends were like, you're pretty good at this. Like what? Thank you for. And for me, I was like, yeah, like, you know, I like, painted and climbed dark school. And, you know, I've always been, this has been my thing to some extent. But for me, it just felt so good. Like, such a release. Like, oh, my God. Like, I need to build this in my life. I'm going to do this every day.
Kimothy Joy [00:08:50]
And I did. I left all my paints and I ordered more. I got them all out and left them on my dining room table in that apartment. And they were always out. I had brushes everywhere, anytime, friends, anybody stopped by, like I would be like, sit down and paint.
Kimothy Joy [00:09:04]
People who are like, I'm not an artist. And then friends who were. And we would just always have it out and we'd paint together. And it was such, like a connecting point to a way to connect. Yeah. It was just such an outlet for me.
Sarah Tacy [00:09:18]
Two things are coming to mind. One is, I remember how nervous I was. You and I went the first time that we got together, we went for a walk and I, when we were done with the walk, because that's like my comfort. Like we're moving and we're talking and we're in nature. And so it's like all the resources of movement and nature while meeting a new person.
Sarah Tacy [00:09:40]
And, and then you like bring your bag out and you're like, hey, let's paint. And I was like, Oh my God, what am I going to paint? Like it's common reaction. Like there's like a freeze, which I, as I was listening to you, I was thinking about, you know, there are all these, I think in Portland, we have one that's called the Muse or something like that. We have all these places where they mix drinking wine with painting.
Sarah Tacy [00:10:06]
And as I understand it, and you and I spoke about this little bit yesterday, at some point we'll get to our day that we had yesterday. We have, you know, 2 hemispheres of the brain. And if you think about the use of the brain as like lifting weights, then we're taking the left hemisphere to the gym all the time. The side that's planning, the side that's thinking about the past, the side that ruminates on things, the side that wants to make sure we get things done that's like aware of Kronos time. And then we have the right side that's artistic and it's slower and it's where we often might feel into our souls calling and is more in rhythm with nature and Cairo's time that like forever and now time.
Sarah Tacy [00:10:57]
And I think that our society has us so trained to move fast that to slow down and that the final product matters so much. Like is it good? Like your friends are like, wow, that's so good verse Like, I mean, it's so great that your art is so great. And in a moment when you were grieving the loss of a partnership, you got to access a sense of presence, joy and community. And so like, bonus, what you paint is beautiful.
Sarah Tacy [00:11:33]
And the process itself ended up being this healing tool. But just wanting to name that for myself. There was this like, and so then I ordered paints and when I first got them, there's this little piece of paper on the other side of the watercolors where I can just, you know, take the color of the paint, put it on paper so I can see the color. What would you call that piece on the side? The color?
Kimothy Joy [00:11:58]
Oh, where it's like the swatches of.
Sarah Tacy [00:12:00]
The Yeah, that was like my safe starting point of like, I'll take a paint and put it over here and write the color next to it. And my daughters are next to me and they're like colors on their paper. And then my daughter starts like doing this flicking technique to just like throw color all over the paper and the two of them and then the other one, the younger one starts cutting the paper up, taping it together, then painting over it. And there is just no inhibition. And each piece for them is so different.
Sarah Tacy [00:12:30]
And I'm there just like, I'll just start some lines and then I'll label the lines. And it's like a slow process of now I can just say like, OK, what color is calling me? And I put that color down and like, OK, what wants to come next? And so it's still a process, but I'm, I love it every time I sit down with it. And I owe that to you.
Sarah Tacy [00:12:54]
For years after motherhood, I was like, I want to paint again. I want to paint again. And, and I had this block all I can, all I can call it is like a block. Like I don't know what paintbrush is. I don't know, like all the I don't know. dSo I can't do it. So it was really great when you just put them in front of me and I didn't have those excuses anymore. And I was like, oh, OK, I'll just paint. I'm.
Kimothy Joy [00:13:19]
So glad I can, yeah, facilitate that. And yeah, I mean, that shows that kind of reaction, response. And not even just art, but in so many different areas in our lives too, like. Oh, I don't know what I'm doing. I'm not ready.
Kimothy Joy [00:13:35]
You know, that like freeze reaction. And yeah, I mean, I still feel that way when I look at a blank canvas and piece of paper like every time. And I think there's a little bit of maybe not an overcoming, but yeah, I mean, that's always like present. And then I'm like, OK, I have to like self soothe. And that also came up the painting.
Kimothy Joy [00:13:57]
I just wanted to just be yeah, with myself and the stillness and all those thoughts, like, OK, what are you doing? Like, what are you gonna do? Are you gonna, like, put this online and sell it or people don't like it? Oh, you know, like, my mind always goes there. Probably because that's how we've been programmed in our society.
Kimothy Joy [00:14:14]
So it's like, it is a lot of reprogramming. It's such a powerful facilitator of, yeah, gently dismantling the perfectionism. The notion of it has to be perfect or I won't even do it. I won't even start. And it's just the act of doing it like your girls like so readily know it's we're trying to return to that as adults.
Kimothy Joy [00:14:35]
I feel like just that emoting on the page. And it's like, it's like our birthright. Like that's what we're here to do. We're here to like dance and sing and express and emote through all these creative mediums. And I don't know what happened. I mean, it feels like, you know, there's just a great unlearning of that and returning to that inner child and that play and allowing ourselves like giving permission to do that. So it's like it's been such a gift to the teacher for me. And I love, I love sharing with you. I love sharing it with other people. It's just so powerful. And simple.
Sarah Tacy [00:15:06]
Sarah Jenks's episode airs October 31st and I believe this one comes out November 14th. And so as you say, I don't know what happened. I feel like if anyone didn't listen to Sarah's episode, she can walk you through the story of patriarchy. Yes, that's what happened.
Kimothy Joy [00:15:27]
Other people are better historians, which I which isn't.
Sarah Tacy [00:15:31]
When I, you know, whenever I heard that, I was like, Oh no, does that mean my dad is bad? Or does that mean my husband's bad? It's like not the diminishment of men, but a story of control and power that was for the benefit of few. And so of course the artists are generally the rebels cause the artists are often feeling into the soul of truth and putting it onto paper and inspiring people through that. And I think that's what happened.
Kimothy Joy [00:16:04]
Yes, absolutely. And it's like you were saying earlier too, with the left brain, the right brain, you know, it is like a muscle, like just working out in our like our society for quite a while now has prioritized the left brain, the analyzing, the doing, the producing productivity. And so, yeah, growing up, I just that was my natural inclination was to create and be an artist and be dangerous, maybe lost and like listen to my heart, you know? But I think over time, I got the message that it's not important in the world or it doesn't create value and like focus on the outcomes. Like what are you going to do with this?
Kimothy Joy [00:16:46]
Like that was loud and clear. And I think many of us reflective like we're returning to that that balance. I think that's what we're doing is the course correcting of prioritizing our creativity and our play.
Sarah Tacy [00:17:01]
I'm like, oh, I wonder if you have one tip that you could give the listeners to step into their creativity. So this idea of like a small doable piece, like what's the smallest doable piece that you might recommend to somebody who is thinking about there's like looking at a blank piece of paper or wants a way to emote?
Kimothy Joy [00:17:23]
Creatively do it with friends, safe group of friends. That's how I started and like that's the whole point of my new book being women. I mean do it with friends. Be in a safe container where you feel comfortable and they can coach you through and give you like that loving feedback and witness you and laugh with you and make it silly, you know, not too serious. And whether it's like a dancing or singing or painting anything, I would just say it's better, better with friends.
Sarah Tacy [00:17:51]
I love that that was not the answer I was expecting. And mine would have been like serious and something you could do on your own every day. And I love do it with Friends because when it's fun, it's so much more approachable and so much less serious. I thank you for that. Yeah.
Kimothy Joy [00:18:07]
It doesn't have to be so serious all the time. And, and sometimes you can get really stuck just being in your own head, staring at that blank piece of paper in the paintbrush. And you're like, so like just being able to name it to your friends and be like, this is coming up. And it's just, yeah. It helps you breakthrough that and get into that playful state with the right people, of course, Yeah.
Sarah Tacy [00:18:31]
When you release your book in 2018, it seems like there was kind of a snowball effect where I was like, then you're painting for the US women's national team soccer. And it seems like, and I can't, I can't be for sure, but it like seems like the world was so ready for your work and that many opportunities came up after the book was released. And then when I read that you had your baby two weeks after it was released, the two things that I was seeing was momentum, the world is ready for you. And like, slow down. There's a baby who's going to require everything of you.
Sarah Tacy [00:19:15]
Can you talk to us a little bit about that time? And if there were any layers of support that were there to help you or not that you would, you know that you wish that you could call in.
Kimothy Joy [00:19:26]
Was such good question, yes, and I will say like I just back to what you're saying about when we first connected online and you're witnessing me in that first comment. I was I was like, who is this chick? Like whoa, She like put to words like this is my practice and I never thought about it really honoring my body and you were seeing that and I was like, oh, I need to know you like it was an immediate connection there. But all of these like little things I do when I sit at my desk that I've learned to do. It's really like a channeling of the energy for me.
Kimothy Joy [00:20:02]
And sometimes it feels like sexual because like creative energy, like cooling energy. It's like it feels like this urgency and it's like building. That's how I would describe it. It's like I got to get it out. So I got to get it on the page like I'm seeing these things or I'm hearing her like my Angela hearing somebody like feeling into them.
Kimothy Joy [00:20:21]
So that became like during the election. After having started Waterhill painting and it was a cathartic experience after that and in the relation, that previous relationship, like I knew to go to that tool when the election came about and I felt just so like disappointed and heartbroken on a new level, like just for womankind. And I, I knew I was like, OK, get out the watercolors. And it was also whiskey at the time. No, I feel like I don't, I don't have to combine the alcohol with painting.
Kimothy Joy [00:20:53]
Like I, I used to really enjoy that to be able to access my feelings, but also like I felt myself wanting to channel the potential and the greatness of women and within myself to like what was possible and not what was being neared in the outer world. Because I was like, this is all a lie. Like I don't understand this. It doesn't like line up. Like my soul knows like we're meant for greatness.
Kimothy Joy [00:21:20]
We've done it before and that's where we're going. And so am I like as an individual. And I was just like, it was like a contraction and water color. Let me just like expand and get out these big emotions that I know so many people were feeling. And I think that's what I tapped into and that's why my work resonated with people when I started sharing it, they could feel that and I was like so open and I sat down every night and I just like opened up to like whatever wanted to come through.
Kimothy Joy [00:21:49]
And I really I would. It just started by me devoting myself to learning about women and not the way that I've been taught in school, but like giving myself like a whole new history lesson, which is like taking back that I was like, no, I'm going to teach myself like who they were. I'm really going to get to know them, not what I taught, like to iceberg surface level what I was taught in school. Like this is somehow cathartic for me, but my contribution. And I wasn't thinking about the outcome really.
Kimothy Joy [00:22:16]
I just had to do it. And I would listen to like speeches, like to hear their voices and, you know, to really get to know like the vibration of their voice, like Eleanor Roosevelt and I would listen to, yeah, Maya Angelou. And I would like read like play podcasts about free to follow and all these women throughout history that did remarkable things and overcame so much during their lives, all our lifetimes. And then I would paint from there, like while listening and just immersing myself and their essence. And I think now that I, I feel like I understand the way energy works more.
Kimothy Joy [00:22:56]
So I think that's what people were resonating with and gravitating to. And that's what art does it like just reveals some other energy. And that's why it can captivate people. They can feel the artist behind it or the, the energy they were channeling. So that was my process.
Kimothy Joy [00:23:11]
Like every night during the election was just like study a woman and just like paint her watercolor portrait, paint her words that really stood out to me. And like hand letter, like the melody and the emotion of her words too. I just really got into that, like just the potency of words and the spells that it could cast as well. And that's what I was sharing online. I've been sharing other things like doodles and personal revelations and things like that as I was spending more time by myself painting.
Kimothy Joy [00:23:43]
But really, I think momentum, it really was, it took off and it totally surprised me. I'm like, I'm just I'm just a girl crying in her office like every night painting and people are like Huffington Post is like this artist and like sharing all these things and like celebrities and I and then like my following grew. It felt like a couple weeks and I think I just like caught away, even when like as it happens sometimes.
Sarah Tacy [00:24:09]
What celebrity most surprised you?
Kimothy Joy [00:24:12]
I think of like Cindy Crawford, like models. It was like, kind of funny or, you know, politicians like other female politicians. I looked up to Ariana, like Huffington. Yeah, it was wild.
Sarah Tacy [00:24:26]
It's like when you start resonating with a women that you're painting, there's so many things. It's like from the brainstem, the reticular activating system, like when you decide I am going to look for so much evidence of times where women have stood up and made a difference and that this is possible that you start seeing it more, you start being it more. Your brain actually like can receive what other like, because otherwise you would take the election and you could just see that there's no chance, no possibility. And so you decided to see something else. And then you immerse yourself in the voices, in the stories, And all I can see is like the energy all around you and start like shifting yourself to a resonance that aligns.
Sarh Tacy [00:25:15] So that so then like, of course, Arianna Huffington's going to like meet that resonance and be like, oh, that her right. It just like, it just it makes so much sense. And like the US women's soccer team, I just think of how powerful those women are. And of course, like we think it's art. They think that they're choosing your art. But perhaps what's happening is like they're choosing a residence that is a match for them and what they want to stand for.
Kimothy Joy [00:25:43]
Yeah, yeah. And I was thinking like Malala Yousufzai, like was posting like all these women that I look up to in their organizations. Yeah. And it was just every day I was like, whoa, Oh my gosh, OK. And I.
Kimothy Joy [00:25:55]
And it's like, but yeah, the resonance was like, we have this core belief in what's possible. And so anybody who's like right there, like has that knowing that belief. I think that's what came into my field. And as my field expanded by letting all these women throughout history be my teachers and my guides. And as you're talking to, I was thinking one of my favorite quotes is by Maya Angelou.
Kimothy Joy [00:26:17]
And she said something like I stand as one, but I come as 10,000. And Oprah has said that many times. Like that's one of her favorite quotes from it's from a poem of Maya's. And I get chills every time I say that because it's like these women that I studied, like they're always with me. And even in my family, my, my mom, like my grandmother's, I can feel them like they're like, you all have got this.
Kimothy Joy [00:26:47]
Like you keep going, like, don't stop and like, do it together. And that's the way that I think I caught in 2016 that so many other people are feeling like, no, we're so much bigger than this. And we're not alone. We're doing this together and it's kind of like an ICU, OK. We're on the same wave.
Kimothy Joy [00:27:06]
And that's the type of people that started sharing my work. And then I. Yeah, all these partnerships came about like Reese Witherspoon's fellow Sunshine Company. Like for a media company. Like we did a partnership and I was just going to Gates on Pullman's health campaigns and yeah, just so much came about like more just putting myself out there and I guess creating from that place, it was just a natural thing.
Kimothy Joy [00:27:31]
Like I never, it didn't really pursue opportunities. They came to me and that that is like people are like, well, how'd you do it? Like what was your publicity approach or marketing campaign or didn't do you have like a team? And I was like, no, like it just, I was just putting it out there and it was a residence and act.
Sarah Tacy [00:27:52]
It's your approach and it's not for everyone, but it is approach that is definitely talked about in the quantum field or even Kate Northrop right now with relaxed money when it's about finding the relaxation first before waiting for the external circumstances to show it. Getting into like that, this project was a healing project that you needed that you dove into and you dove into the energy of these women, which you know, this is going to bring me kind of we skipped over the motherhood threshold a little bit. We can come back. But this brings me to your follow up journal that you put out Focus, Focus. And I couldn't help but to think that each one of these books that you've released is just kind of the next stage of when you deepen into these studies.
Sarah Tacy [00:28:46]
So you deepen into these studies and you realize the mind focus that these women have and the spiritual game they have going on. And you, I think it's Florence Shovelshan, your word is your wand. So just nobody can see this on the podcast. I'm just like holding up her beautiful books like you need to see it. Can you tell me a thing or two about how you then moved into focus? Focus.
Kimothy Joy [00:29:15]
Yeah, it came from becoming a mom and like meeting other tools outside like painting didn't feel as possible and accessible when I first had my daughter. And yeah, I mean, talk about that threshold too, of like this wave of momentum with careers, like really taking off, it's great. And then having a baby and like one meeting to slow down and cocoon and tend to her, that created so much tension and like a had a total like it. It was like an abrupt recalibration. And I feel like I'm still like always negotiating that, but I wasn't painting as often.
Kimothy Joy [00:29:57]
So it really was the journal came about for me, you know, listening to a lot of Audible books and podcasts and about mindset and just the power of like belief in the stories we're telling ourselves. And I just became a student of that as well. And in recognizing that this was a superpower of a lot of the women that were. And that's what she said, like they just were able to rewire their belief systems and thought patterns and in such a way and have such a tenacious focus on their goals. Like that really stood out to me.
Kimothy Joy [00:30:33]
And I was like, how did they do that? And, you know, the world might be telling them one story about who they are and what they're capable of. And they were able to like, create a new story and take different actions and, you know, do things that were impressing them for their time. And it really was like this, this very deliberate intention setting, this focus. And so I, I really wanted to study and explore that.
Kimothy Joy [00:30:57]
And that's what I did. I just started reading a lot and listening. And it also was a way for me to stay afloat and help me through motherhood, which was really intense. I wasn't expecting that. Surprise, surprise.
Kimothy Joy [00:31:12]
I mean, it's hard to know until you're like in it and you just have a baby that never sleeps and cries a lot and you're like, Oh my God. But I really, I started practicing like changing up the narrative and trying not to feel like the victim of it. And then I started a journaling practice. I've always loved journaling as much as I've loved painting and creating. I've kept Diaries since I was able to write.
Kimothy Joy [00:31:37]
Like, I still have my little 3rd grade Diaries, and I had like, a squiggly pen. And I would go, like, write about all the boys I was in love with or how I was feeling. And so journaling became another tool, another friend during those beginning years of motherhood. And there's something about having like a template or container or routine that feels so doable and not overwhelming. So that's what I created and experimented with.
Kimothy Joy [00:32:09]
And that's how focus folks came to be. I was like, you know, I just need something like, I don't, I don't feel like I have time to do the whole yoga routine or all the things. I just need something to focus my, my mind and my energy, my efforts every day, like something I can return to. And I only have 10 minutes is that I told myself 15 minutes, Like, what can I do? And that's what focus became was just this format with, you know, like I think there's like 10 journey prompts in there that I practiced often to just see how it shifted me and allowed me to just be with what was or what is.
Kimothy Joy [00:32:49]
Focus on some gratitude, focus on like what I wanted to feel or move toward like the North Star for the day. And then have like a mantra affirmation, like an anchor. Because I love words. I love quotes, obviously. And that helps just Orient me every day.
Kimothy Joy [00:33:06]
And it was such a powerful, simple practice. And I shared it with all my friends and they helped me like Wordsmith and edit. I was like, try this, OK, this is a new format. And then, yeah, it became a journal and the whole series. And I just feel like it's the next possible way to be mindful every day.
Kimothy Joy [00:33:23]
And in a beautiful way, too. I loved and, you know, have fun with the watercolor art. And I wanted it to feel like, playful. And it actually looks like artwork I did in middle school on my different Diaries and journals when I pulled those out. Oh, this is really letting my like, yeah, middle school Kimothy come out and play.
Sarah Tacy [00:33:41]
So beautiful. Yeah, I have. There's one, one or two pages where there's room for us, the journalers, to also draw in. I was like oh I have to draw instead of right? So good though.
Sarah Tacy [00:33:57]
So I'll just say to the listeners that if you want to find any of Kimothy's work, she has a website which we'll post. And I also just love following her on Instagram because as she mentioned, the ink when I said watercolor and ink is that she really writes in a way that makes whatever the phrases that she's sharing really stand out and have a feeling to it. And then there's art put to it and it's just, it's so beautiful. So all of the things we're mentioning will be in the notes. You can find them, purchase them.
Sarah Tacy [00:34:31]
I love having that's what she said also, just for my girls to look through or to like read a page with my girls. And then we're moving towards the book that's coming out. Is it November 7th? It is great. And this will launch on the 14th.
Sarah Tacy [00:34:46]
So it will be available. And maybe what we could say is that yesterday was the day that we were supposed to, that we were planned to record this podcast, but we just had a whole another day. I planned, I pulled a card for our podcast day together yesterday and it says today is a really good day. You're in the flow. Problems are solved quickly and easily.
Sarah Tacy [00:35:10]
Helpful people show up for you and unexpected gifts fall into your lap. And Kimothy text me And she said, I'm on the way because we did actually plan to make a day out of it because it was your mother's birthday yesterday. And so it just so happened that the day I was like, can we like, do you want to like sauna and ice bath? And then we'll do a podcast together. And you're like, oh, I put the day aside.
Sarah Tacy [00:35:35]
It's my mother's birthday. I'd love to do something special. And so I just thought, this is so perfect. And then she text me that her tire blew up on the highway. So we spent part of the day I drove, I drove to where she was about 20 minutes away.
Sarah Tacy [00:35:55]
And as any, I don't know, I'm going to say as any mother might, it's like, oh, I should pack some drinks. I forgot to even bring it out, but I brought some like misting spray to just like make us feel better on the side of the highway. And you had some blueberry muffins. And The funny thing where it's like helpful people show up for you. Like some other man was looking for his wife on the side road and he's like, would you like a blueberry muffin?
Sarah Tacy [00:36:24]
So we hung out on the side of the highway for a bit. Eventually we get back to my place and we do a meditation outside and we just kind of like met both of us the night before. We're up all night with our kids. So we're both kind of so tired and we just kind of collapsed in nature for a long time. And by the time we reemerged, it was like, not enough time.
Sarah Tacy [00:36:51]
But yeah, we ordered lunch. We did do a quick sauna and a quick jump in the freezing cold pool. But it was just such a lovely day and both of us really got to slow down. And I was, I think we were both reflecting on the way life gives us opportunities to step into the field that we're creating. And you're creating a book called Wing Woman Yesterday.
Sarah Tacy [00:37:19]
I got to be your wing Woman. Could you tell us a little bit more about. Yeah, about what brought you to this book and why it could be so powerful for others to, like, soak in.
Kimothy Joy [00:37:34]
Thank you for being my one wee woman yesterday. That was so fun. What a fun redirection. And I mean, for me, what stood out to is like be OK with things going a different way. And that what yesterday was, was an opportunity for me to be vulnerable with you and to be held and like nurtured and cared for, you know, and I think that's the type of community that I'm practicing being in, like practicing receiving help, like having a friend, like bring all the snacks and come rescue me from the side of the highway.
Kimothy Joy [00:38:10]
Like, you know, there's a part of me that's still like, oh, no, no, I'm OK. I can like figure it out or Uber. And I think that so represents to the book. So it's all just ironic and funny and so appreciate you. Our magical day of redirection. But yeah, the book is extraordinary. Wing women. It's true stories of life altering, world changing sisterhood. The idea came from the first book. It just kept showing up and like knocking at my door.
Kimothy Joy [00:38:37]
And it was like, there's stories here that need to be told. They haven't been examined, you know, unexamined stories or layers of womanhood that like are just crying out. That's what how it felt. The stories kept emerging as I was researching about all these iconic women throughout history. And almost it was like I was peering under the hood of if there were a car and I was able to peer under the hood and see like the engine, like what was a major driving force and helping them achieve so much and endure and overcome so much and show up like in their fullest expression.
Kimothy Joy [00:39:12]
It was that they had women. Like they're surrounded by women, whether it was a sister, a mother, a grandmother, a friend, a complete stranger, but they had these like networks or these close confident thoughts that they, like let themselves be held by. And they had these circles. Or sometimes there's just like one or two women. But for me, I was like, these stories are so fascinating and they made me cry
Kimothy Joy [00:39:40]
Like I felt just all the emotions. And those are the stories that I was like calling friends. Like, did you know that she had a grandmother that like flew across the world to see her? She was like 80 to be on the film set when she was experiencing like imposter syndrome, like these women that would just drop a drop everything and like, show up like the show. We're uppers.
Kimothy Joy [00:40:01]
I just was realizing, like how significant that was for all these women and how significant that role is in all of our lives. And being that person, you showing up like flat tire inside the highway. Like, it can seem like a small gesture and like a, you know, small act, but it's like when you zoom back at those moments makes such a difference in those people. And I was. Yeah, it just came from the first book.
Kimothy Joy [00:40:26]
And I thought, this is it. This is the next series of stories that I want to tell and paint. Yeah. And they were like hidden figures. Like, I don't think these stories are often told. So it actually was took a lot, a great deal of work and research to mine these stories and put pieces together. And it was like reading through personal letters and correspondence. And I didn't want to make assumptions. I wanted, like, made to be real, like, real factual, like their personal experience. And it was complicated, you know, these stories.
Kimothy Joy [00:40:59]
And I wanted to include that, too, the complexities. But yeah, it's just all about those stories with the women behind the women. And the book features 30 different stories. Sometimes it's best friends like Julia Child and Avis Tavato, who was with her, for example. Julia and Avis, their stories.
Kimothy Joy [00:41:18]
Incredible. Davis helped her write her cookbook which had over 500 recipes. She helped her test all the recipes and she was constantly by her side, experimenting, trial and error, perfecting all the recipes. She helped her get the book published, but it took them nine years of back and forth. And like they.
Kimothy Joy [00:41:37]
Corresponded to when they were living apart. Julia was overseas. They had they wrote over 400 letters to one another. She helped her publish that book, get it published and then also produced the first TV show where she was like the first TV chef personality. And as a woman like a very like a various woman.
Kimothy Joy [00:41:59]
She Davis helped her do it all. And what was revealed to me is that there are so many threshold points, breaking points for these women that we don't commonly see and that they're friends did or they're close people where just like me and most of us, they were like, I don't know if I can do this. Like, is anyone going to care? Is this like a total waste of time? Like is it?
Kimothy Joy [00:42:21]
Does this matter? Like who am I to do this? Like all those questions that show up definitely showed up for them. And those are the stories I want to tell because that's real and it happens for all of us. And it was really these women they surrounded themselves with that helped them to move past that and to keep going. And they were these years for them, like reminding them who they are and what they're capable of and all just makes all the difference in my life having those women and definitely in the women that I've studied.
Sarah Tacy [00:42:52]
When you were in Denver, you said that all of these women were like, let me help you, let me open the door. So again, I just think like what we put our energy on, like what we appreciate, appreciates. And as you're focusing so much on wing women, just again, like last time when you said I wasn't trying to like do it to become, you know, known by all, I was, but you were steeped in the energy of it. And now you're steeped in the energy of wing women. And I'm wondering how that's influenced your circle of friends, what your friendships have become like, like what they look like.
Sarah Tacy [00:43:31]
Do you I'm also curious, like, do you circle up with specific women or is it just like whatever calls to you? What is your group of friends look like? And like, do you put effort into it? Like what it like how? Yeah.
Sarah Tacy [00:43:47]
I'm, I'm curious what your experiences because I think I think a lot of women feel unsafe in groups of women. I hosted something like five years ago where I was like, I just want all these amazing women to know each other and meet each other. And one woman who was there was like, this would never be safe. Like, this is a big deal for me. And so I think you're touching into another reality that's possible but has also been really scary for people who have felt, you know, othered and not accepted.
Sarah Tacy [00:44:22]
So I'm wondering if you have any thoughts. Again, like a small doable step for anyone who's listening, who doesn't feel like they have their crew yet.
Kimothy Joy [00:44:31]
Oh, I'm so glad you brought that up because I don't want to say like, yeah, like I'm circling up all the time, which I am now, but it's been an evolution. It's been a journey. It's been a practice. Like I say, sisterhood is a practice. It's a lifestyle, but it's definitely for many, including myself, there are a lot of like wounds there and it's complicated, beginning with my mother, even in this my first friendships, there was a lot to unpack.
Kimothy Joy [00:44:56]
Even in writing this book, it like brought up so much, you know, and I was working with all of it, like all those wounds and our shared history as women and the times we have competed and betrayed one another and left each other out. This is all part of our story and our feelings and our mending. And I'm remembering like I was I always had guy friends. I have three brothers. My mom and I were close, but it was complicated.
Kimothy Joy [00:45:23]
There was a lot of stuff in between US and then she passed when I was 25 S Since then I've been kind of like working out that motherland, like solo and talking to her from the other side. But that's been my personal experience is just from a younger age, like not really quite trusting women and feeling like guys were just easier. I had all those stories up until about yeah, early 30s. I would say when I it's, it's been a journey and learning to disarm like around other women and work on that. But I distinctively remember my mother's blessing when I was pregnant with Luca and so many women just showed up and I, I surrendered to being helped, which was new for me.
Kimothy Joy [00:46:02]
I'm still working on that. But that was a moment where I felt, I felt what was possible when women can circle up like that and just pour into one another and, and what is possible when I open up to, to receiving that type of love and wisdom and witnessing it was like an electric energy. I'll never forget. There's so many women, 250 women, like bringing in just everybody bringing in gifts and poems and personal stories, just like contributing to me, like pouring into my cup in a way I've never felt in my life. And I was like crying the whole time because I was like, oh, my God, this is a new level of love and the belonging that I've never had.
Kimothy Joy [00:46:48]
Yeah, it was amazing. And I hope I channel that energy into this new book because that's what I want, I want for everyone and I want to experience more of that. It was from that moment on I was like, oh, what was that? Like that was so powerful. Oh my goodness.
Kimothy Joy [00:47:04]
Like I need to explore that. So that became another focus of, OK, how do we deal with one? How do I deal with women in a new way? Like that was cool. Like, how do I nurture that? Like, what's the format? What feels safe? What's like, how do we communicate? You know, how do I disarm? And, and in that process, I, I did recognize all the fear and all the stories I had like real terror in my body, like being with, in circle with other women.
Kimothy Joy [00:47:29]
And so I always, I did take like some courses and training to like the global sisterhood to really learn and study circle facilitation and what the dynamics can be there. And I've explored other studies too. And then I've been posting or joining circles for the last probably five years now, like women's circles. And sometimes they're like shamanic circles. And sometimes it's just like a more simple format of showing up and everybody shares like an intention and maybe a need.
Kimothy Joy [00:48:06]
They have like a very clear like I need help with this, support with this. And this is also what I want to contribute. So it can be a simple format, but there's so much power in that. And that those formats and ways of gathering are also highlighted in my book. Like, I love stuff like that, yeah.
Sarah Tacy [00:48:25]
That's awesome.
Kimothy Joy [00:48:25]
Yeah, It also shows up in different ways, like activist groups of women have, you know, And in civil war, they will start with a circle where when we get to share their experience and like what's causing them pain and suffering or what's enjoying their life, Like that shared witnessing and circling up is oftentimes like a keystone of like a major movement. It's like that simple. So I focused on that, the gathering piece, like what does this look like? And I keep integrating that into my life and practicing it in different ways. So I would say you could start by joining, like, a group, like Global Sisterhood, and it could be an online thing with strangers, but where the format feels safe to you.
Kimothy Joy [00:49:13]
Yeah. It doesn't have to be like, people, women you readily know around you. If you don't have that in your immediate world, there's definitely, like, groups you can seek out online. Or maybe it is like an active vulnerability to, like, talk to some women or family members in your life and say, hey, do you want to, like, make time for this? Like I feel like I need something beyond therapy or I need an indest space to be like heard and seen and dream like beheld in my dreams too. Yeah, just as much as I am in my balloons. Like all of it.
Sarah Tacy [00:49:46]
Yeah, I'm hearing that like I'm hearing like in my mind I'm seeing all these different ways where like if you just go do like I'm thinking of prioritizing joy and not at the bypassing of the grief. So there are grief circles too, but I'm thinking about how I might put it into my schedule like that. I might be like, I have no time. I can't do anything. I don't have to.
Sarah Tacy [00:50:09]
But if I'm like this is top priority, then I might make time to go for a walk with a friend or every now and then. Usually like once a month, I might put an entire day out where I'm going to have like that whole day with a friend to go for a hike. And so even if it's just once a month plus like little things sprinkled in and I was interviewed, maybe it was like 5 years ago. And he was like, what if people don't have a group of friends? Like kind of like, what if you'd like, if you just go do the thing you love, then you're going to bump into somebody else doing the thing you love.
Sarah Tacy [00:50:41]
And I love the idea of an online community where you can choose like this online community. And I am also hearing that as you to read and feel more into the possibilities. So like if we were someone were to pick up your book and you start reading and feeling into it and starts feeling possible again, a greater likelihood that you're going to see and meet other people who are into that. And I have one more reflection, which is dauntedly, probably at least two or three, But is that when we were in song circle last week, which is quite literally just that we show up every Wednesday and we have a collection of songs that we choose from. And you know, the little kids are also open to sharing one with us if they, if there's one that they would like us to sing.
Sarah Tacy [00:51:24]
And then we, we share our feelings at the beginning and at the end, so we can see how song and emoting shift things not, and not that it has to like alchemize it from, you know, lead to gold, but just to be able to 1st notice that we have a feeling. And, and this last song circle, the kids just had so much energy and none of them participated in the song. And I didn't bring the art supplies. I usually have some art supplies so they can also, and they're running around the circle and you know, the women are attempting to sing. And so there's this dual energy happening.
Sarah Tacy [00:51:58]
And at the end it was really beautiful because each woman was just like, I'm just glad I'm not in it alone. And so, yeah, I was saying to you yesterday, like, it's not the best promotion to come join song Circle and you'll just be glad you're not like, in the dichotomy alone. But one person shared like, oh, this is the closest I felt to ritual where I understand that women have circled for generations so that whatever they're feeling and that it might shift moment to moment, they're experiencing it in the circle. And they're experiencing like kids running around together, like not just alone in a house by themselves, isolated. And the other thing that we brought up yesterday or I was saying to you yesterday is that as I was feeling into this new book of yours, I was seeing a constellation.
Sarah Tacy [00:52:47]
And I was thinking how our society often talks about a star. I'm going to be a star, right? Who's the star of the show? And that when we talk about wing women, and I've also kind of heard you name a little bit on this idea of reciprocity, like what am I going to give to the circle? What am I going to receive from the circle?
Sarah Tacy [00:53:07]
Just that there is this giving and taking and not on a perfect, you know, not that it has to be a perfect match, but a constellation is an understanding that we are in a network and that we don't stand by ourselves. And this whole trauma response that many of us had at a young age and we're kind of trained to of independence over interdependence. I think that this is an unwinding of that and a relearning that we are part of a community and the idea that we could actually like lean on another person, that it might be safe. There are plenty of people where we could say that's not safe and great, we get to discern it. But I really love just like leaning into it with art, with lived experiences, with words, with stories that you're bringing forth. So I just feel like this is such important work.
Kimothy Joy [00:53:52]
I just love that so much, that reflection. And this is the visual of the constellation. There's place for all the stars and the constellation to shine their brightest, but it is a network and just that feeling that you aren't alone in it, whether it's the chaos or the serenity, the bliss, you know? But just being held in the constellation is a totally different experience, right?
Sarah Tacy [00:54:16] Totally, and as you just said, that like the chaos, which I mentioned in that song circle or the bliss, like, you know, there was the there was probably there were probably moments of bliss, but I was even thinking of our day together yesterday where we could be like, oh, car broke down on the side. We didn't get the pocket, but actually like we got to have so many moments, so many shared moments of so many different emotions, right. Like there was such a beautiful range and different paces, although mostly slow and just to great for to for to be able to be on our own and love ourselves and all that and to really begin to expand on capacity to be witnessed is such. A to be witness, to receive. And so I feel like that is the medicine that we are most needing at this stage in life.
Kimothy Joy [00:55:13]
I think so, yeah. Yeah. It was a magical day. Just what we needed, not what I needed. And I was thinking too, just seeing like, there's on my book cover, there's butterflies everywhere.
Kimothy Joy [00:55:25]
And I know you said you were seeing them yesterday around me, but I just love the symbolism of the butterfly and wing women and the thought of the metamorphosis, like the collective metamorphosis that we're all going through and the rising of the feminine and, and the, the idea of being like witnessed in the full cycle, not just when you're like out and you look good and everything's great and you get out there on time and you do the podcast, do the thing. Like I got my stuff together. I'm going to look good in front of this new friend, that kind of thing. But it's like, oh, everything's falling apart and this happened and this happened. And like that allowing to be in like, you know, wherever you're at, like be the goo, be the mess and still and sisterhood be held in it. I think that's awesome. Part of the magic.
Sarah Tacy [00:56:19]
Yeah, all of it I'm hearing, like being the goo. And then I'm thinking of all these people who can't wait to support you with this book who are also, you know, I think this is another part of healing of the feminine. Like the healthy feminine is to be excited when you see your sister rising up, like when you see her ready to be seen that if there is ever like the jealousy or envy that someone be like, oh, that just means that like I also want XY and Z or leaning into like there's enough for everyone, whatever it is. But I love the lived, the lived experiences of feeling women just be like, **** yeah. Like just so excited to see one of their sisters, you know?
Kimothy Joy [00:57:08]
Yeah, the whole constant like bright.
Sarah Tacy [00:57:11]
Yeah.
Kimothy Joy [00:57:12]
Everybody gets to party and celebrate because it's like the whole constellation is brightened up, right? It's not just the star. You're like, oh, no, you just our network. I feel brighter, and we're all part of it, and it's joyful and fun. Just celebrate, yeah?
Sarah Tacy [00:57:27]
Like that book lunch that I was almost going to make it to in Denver. I almost got to party.
Kimothy Joy [00:57:32]
With you still hoping something happens, you never know anything is possible. And that's what I keep, you know, one of my favorite quotes is by Virginia Woolf. I dwell in possibilities. It's just something that lights me up like when I can go there. I'm just like a what if person and I love to be around other people.
Kimothy Joy [00:57:50]
It's just like, who can dwell in that place? And like ID 8, like what if, what if, what if, what if this happens? And in 10 years, 100 years. And I think about the constellation, like lighting up, like humanity coming together in all these different ways and like these threads of our tapestry being mended and fortified and like just the beauty in that. And like what's possible women, women are like, your win is my win.
Kimothy Joy [00:58:15]
Oh my God, how can I help you? And it's not transactional. It's just like, hey, my soul sees your soul and I really, I just, I'm feeling intuiting that I could offer this to you and might benefit you. It's that kind of, you know, or I, I'm opening up to receive. You have something to teach me or give me or show me and I'm opening.
Kimothy Joy [00:58:31]
It's like that reciprocity. But I'm like, wow, where's this going to go in the next 100 years? If that's what we're moving toward, you know, anything, anything's possible.
Sarah Tacy [00:58:45]
I mean, that's a great place too to pause. I'm like, I'm like, I don't want to say close or end, but just leaning into like the anything is possible. And right before that we were talking about what I heard in my what I saw in my head was like a disco party where we all get to light up. And I saw that Instagram post of yours from Costa Rica where you have the butterfly wings on that light up. Imagining like all these images are coming to my mind and I'm like, this is just this is where I want to close out right here.
Sarah Tacy [00:59:15]
Kimothy with bright light wings on dancing and everybody's lighting up around.
Kimothy Joy [00:59:23]
This is what we're going to do now. I'm going to bring the party in to Portland in Maine. We're going to dance on the beach. I'm going to order those butterfly wings. Just like you just made me think, Oh my God, I need to celebrate here. Let's make that happen.
Sarah Tacy [00:59:37] Let's do that. OK, I'll help. I'll help with that. I'm in. All right. Well, thank you so much for coming on today and thank you for spending the day with me yesterday. And, you know, every time that we've gotten together, it's just always such, such a joy. It's so easy. Yeah.
Kimothy Joy [00:59:53]
Thank you, Sarah. Thank you for yeah, having me and these conversations. And I love who you are and I love getting to know you and I'm so grateful. And it's so. Fun, so fun.
Sarah Tacy [01:00:17]
Thank you for tuning in. It's been such a pleasure. If you're looking for added support, I'm offering a program that's totally free called 21 Days of Untapped Support. It's pretty awesome. It's very easy, it's very helpful. You can find it at sarahtacy.com. And if you love this episode, please subscribe. And like, apparently it's wildly useful. So we could just explore what happens when you Scroll down to the bottom subscribe rate, maybe say a thing or two.
Sarah Tacy [01:00:50]
If you're not feeling it, don't do it. It's totally fine. I look forward to gathering with you again. Thank you so much.