Bonus - Sovereignty & Sacred Interdependence Meditation
Today marks the final day of my free Opting Out of Urgency program (you can still catch the replays here).
To celebrate, I’m sharing a special bonus episode: a guided meditation on sovereignty and sacred interdependence.
Settle in, listen with your body, and enjoy this invitation to return to your center while remembering the web that holds us all.
If it lands, please consider joining me in Resourced — a 12-week journey to reclaim your pace, power, and relationships through nervous system re-patterning. We begin September 30th.
Episode Transcript
Sarah Tacy [00:00:06]:
Hello, welcome. I'm Sarah Tacy and this is Threshold Moments, a podcast where guests and I share stories about the process of updating into truer versions of ourselves. The path is unknown and the pull feels real. Together we share our grief, laughter, love and life saving tools. Join us.
Hello and welcome to Threshold Moments. Today is a special and rare and slightly different day than normal. Many of you know who are listening weekly that at present time we are on the last day of my free three day workshop called Opting out of Urgency. You can still go to the link and listen to all three days.
Sarah Tacy [00:01:03]:
They will be available for replay over the weekend and today I am recording the home play that goes along with it. The home play is a meditation and if any of you are like me, I have a really hard time when I go into books and they're like now try this embodied thing. And it's like close your eyes, feel into your feet. But the challenge is you can't necessarily close your eyes and read at the same time. And even if you keep your eyes open and try to do an embodied thing, there's this juxtaposition between staying in the beta brain waves as you are reading and digesting and going into the embodied experience. So I'm offering this link and this podcast for all of you in Opting out of Urgency who would love to listen to the meditation for the homework and from there also be able to fill in the worksheet. And anyone who's not an Opting out of Urgency, you're going to get a little feel for what day three is. And maybe I'll say here that day three is the inquiry of what happens when we slow down enough to notice that we exist, to notice that we have desires, and to be able to resource ourselves enough to state our desires even if they're in contrast to the unspoken agreements that we have in many of our relationships in which we bypass our boundaries in order to make somebody else feel better.
Sarah Tacy [00:02:52]:
This hyper social aspect that has saved many of us, especially those in female bodies that have lower testosterone, who would be less likely to win a physical fight and more likely to survive through pleasing and appeasing. It's super smart. It is a great survival tactic. Being needed within our tribe, our village, our community, has been a majorly helpful thing and it can be done in a healthy way. However, this tends to be overactive in most females, especially those living. I should say from what I experience and I know the western culture better than I know other cultures because this is the one I live in and so for many of us, it's I'm okay when you're okay. And so on day three of opting out of urgency. We move at the pace the body.
Sarah Tacy [00:03:55]:
So when we move at the pace of the mind, it rarely attunes to the needs of the body. The body often asks for slower, steadier rhythms. It often asks for hundreds of positive experiences that a new pattern is safe enough that we can survive this update. Otherwise our body would prefer to stay in its familiar pattern, whether it's pleasurable or a familiar hell. So mentally, we may understand why someone is the way they are, or we even may know that we could survive acting differently. But when the body resists, it can show up as a classic double bind of I must make a change, but for some reason I just can't, I can't stick to it. For me, sometimes it feels like I'm coming up against a wall or like I'm in, like I'm sinking in quicksand where it's like the more I move and the harder I try, the deeper I sink. And so as we slow down enough to include the body and I will update this to say that once the body is included, we can have fast health.
Sarah Tacy [00:05:14]:
But we start by slowing down enough so that we can see more of the subtleties. We can notice that we exist and that we matter. And from here we attune to ourselves, create layers of support, ask for what we want while calling in support, stay with the discomfort without collapsing, and move when the time is right. I already said that this pattern can show up as a classic double bind. And I feel like adding a layer to that to say that it can also show up as confusion or overwhelm. Why am I always exhausted? Why do I always feel overwhelmed no matter what I do? And so as we break old patterns and we move either from the hyperdoing or from the freeze, in the overwhelm, we take small steps of noticing ourselves, resourcing ourselves, and then re patterning to say it's good here. This is a practice of staying in the tension field between familiar patterns and new possibilities to notice when updates emerge. And as I learned when I was training athletes, it is very hard to up regulate a pattern in a state of fatigue.
Sarah Tacy [00:06:34]:
And so this is part of the practice you're going to pick up in the meditation. When we do these new patterns in safe enough ways, we often find resonance that feels less lonely, more empowering and deeply true. I call this empowerment physiology. It is the opposite of trauma physiology. So here is the homework Here is the practice. We could say the home. Play home, experimenting. Some of you may be listening in the car.
Sarah Tacy [00:07:27]:
And so I know your eyes must be open and you must stay more alert. And I would say for everybody to take a level of autonomy to say, am I in the right place? Is this the right time to practice this meditation? I am currently in my office on a very comfortable chair. It's an update from a hard steel chair that I used to put a blanket on. And now on this new velvet cushiony chair that is still supportive, I'm like, oh, gosh, I didn't know it could be this good. Alas, my feet are on a very soft rug with a hard floor beneath it. And I'm wondering if you might be able to find a place that feels equally supportive to your body. And we get to do the smallest doable piece so that if you are a mother, that maybe you get a show or that there is a PlayStation that you set. If you are taking a break at work and you're in your car, then you just celebrate.
Sarah Tacy [00:08:38]:
I'm doing this, the most dual piece that I can do, and I'm so grateful for the smallest bit I can do. You also get to acknowledge any part that feels like. So I invite you to land where you are, as you are welcome as you are. And I invite you to look around you to look around your space. You may notice all the things that need to get done. And in art, we are invited to look at the empty space. So you get to notice the things that need to be done. But can you also notice the things that are already stable or do not need your help? Maybe there's a wall, a window, the empty space, the air between you and the wall.
Sarah Tacy [00:09:50]:
You may press your feet into the ground beneath you and feel stability, the chair beneath you, your chair that's here in present time. You do not need to do anything to earn its support. You may look out to a tree outside that stays for whatever seasons you experience where you live. It's stable, yet alive with water running through, with needs for nourishment and sunlight and change and ecosystem. And you can stay in the exterior of what is stable and. Or you might move on to say or be curious of what is stable within you. For me, I find the breath, even though it has a wave like movement, to be stable and that it is always there. I'll name some things.
Sarah Tacy [00:11:30]:
Is there a bone in your body that feels stable? And again, you get to notice. What does stability even feel like inside of me? I didn't know it could exist or can it exist? Can you notice the back side of your body? Is there any stability there, possibly in your seat, your sits bones, your ischial tuberosity. And we take a breath here to just notice and be curious if there is any availability for any level of stability already in your body. And to amplify it by noticing its texture, its location, if there's a movement or a pulsation. Next you might say your name out loud. My name is. And notice where it lands. Does it land outside of your body to the front, sides, above, below, behind you? Or inside of your body to the periphery, meaning towards your toes, fingers, top of the head? Does it land somewhere in your center line? Perhaps? It's completely elusive.
Sarah Tacy [00:14:01]:
And now noticing your center. Bring your awareness to your center. All of this is an attempt to notice possibly that you have support around you, that you have a self within you. So as you say, show me my center. Do I have a center? Where might you be? You get to notice if it lands in your gut, your heart, your throat, just above, behind, in between your eyes. For some, they notice their power in their yoni or their clitoris. This can shift from day to day and there is no right place. Where is your center today? What does center even feel like? Any of these could be relieving.
Sarah Tacy [00:15:17]:
Any of these could be triggering. You get to move on from anything. That is a no for you. If you found a center, I would love for you to now imagine a regenerative line. What I mean from this is that from your center, your perceived sense of center, sometimes this will match where your name is, sometimes not. You might begin to envision a line extending both upward and downward. A channel that can release what feels like too much or even other. Like somebody else's stuff, somebody else's worry, somebody else's pain just for this moment.
Sarah Tacy [00:16:16]:
It doesn't mean that you never get to care about community, but or others. This isn't hyper independence. It is for a moment getting enough clarity to sense yourself, to clean your house. And at the same time that the center line, whether you can physically feel it or it is simply imagined. Imagined that you have this central line that could aid in digestion, that could aid in composting. That it's not all on you, that it could go down, down, down, down to the earth or up into the ethos that you might have helped. That this same line might bring in some regenerative energy. And in this moment you can either keep your eyes closed or you could open them.
Sarah Tacy [00:17:41]:
The idea of opening them here might be like, oh, can I still sense that I have this energetic body, this physical body and be aware of the space outside of me at the same time. And then I might briefly notice again myself and then a tree. If you are completely inside an office, you might just imagine into a place of nature and then back to yourself. And then you might imagine towards a pet or an animal, if you are into pets or animals. And you could see how cute and playful and loving they are. And so you can feel that energy of co regulation and then coming back to yourself. And now you could possibly imagine a safe human in your life. It could have been a grandmother that is no longer here or still here.
Sarah Tacy [00:19:02]:
It could have been a teacher from the past. It could be a best friend in this moment. It could be a therapist that you know, a paid resource and you just for a moment notice them without enmeshing. Right, like I notice them. We're starting with healthy, safe, easy notice them and then come back to yourself, your center. And before we go any further, what would feel nourishing right now? You can either go do it, it may or may not break the meditation, but you can notice like, oh, would I love a sip of tea? Would I love a blanket? And you can just notice this as like, okay, I'm going to do this when the meditation's over, I'm going to pause from the meditation, go get this thing and come back. Which is sometimes really empowering to go, oh, I can pause and then come back to this place. Don't open a window, pull a card, invite in a healthy ancestor.
Sarah Tacy [00:20:30]:
You just get to notice if there is a desire or a need and then meet it in present time. Or just make a little vow of like, oh, I'm going to do this in five minutes. When you are back from meeting yourself and meeting this layer, we're going to go a layer deeper. And again, these meditations are not to replace couples therapy or therapy or and they're also not to suggest, hey, let's start with the hardest relationship. It's let's start with the safest relationship that we can think of. Where there may be a place where you would like to ask for something, not even ask where you are going to say, hey, this, this is a part of myself that I can no longer disappoint, that I can no longer self abandon. And this is a part I'm going to stand for. So the tension field is like we don't know how the other person is going to respond.
Sarah Tacy [00:21:46]:
And so we've Just built in layers of support, tiny layers of practice and repetition. And the next thing we're doing is we're playing with repetition through imagination so that our body can get practice again. Physically, physiologically, we have responses to what we imagine into. So we begin to again notice that we have a center line. I invite you to say your name again and then call in a loved person. Maybe it's even somebody at work. But the stakes aren't too high. A person who may differ from what they want and what you want and what you usually give.
Sarah Tacy [00:22:45]:
We say that when we create boundaries and someone doesn't like it, it's usually because they benefit from you not having boundaries. And when we course correct for ourselves, which can help us release resentments. Somebody once told me, I was like, I don't resent anyone. And he said, resentments are when you say yes to something you want to say no to. And I was like, oh, I take that back. I have some work to do here. And so we get to just begin to practice speaking our truth, which can even just be like, this is my sensation, this is my feeling, this is my desire. So ask yourself, what support could I bring in with me to this moment? It could be the tea, the blanket, it could be the tree, the ancestor, your feet on the ground, your center line.
Sarah Tacy [00:23:40]:
And then imagine being side by side with this person, which may be a resource instead of being face to face. And would you want to go for a walk with them so you can move the energy of intensity as you move, Would you imagine an ancestor or mentor at your back? Are you into angels? Would you widen your perception to include the trees around you? As you're on said, and for a moment, tune in and say, right, it might be that you might not go to this family event. I'm feeling clear that my body needs more rest. Love to spend time with X, Y and Z. I'm going to stay home and rest. You fill it in. This is the part of the meditation where you fill it in. But if you notice yourself getting lost or looping, just put an asterisk here of I would like to come back and explore.
Sarah Tacy [00:24:58]:
I'm going to keep this open for my reticular activating system. When this shows up in relationships, what might I state as my desire? Take a nice big inhale and a full exhale. Notice your center line. Say your name. I am. And now do something that feels really good to your system. For some that's leaning against the tree, snuggling with a pet, moving your body, going for A run, placing a hand on your heart, dancing. If feelings arise, let them flow with support.
Sarah Tacy [00:26:03]:
Your breath of the ground of nature. Reach out for help if you need it. At any time during this you can say your name again. You can practice right distance. Right distance is noticing yourself, then noticing another outside of you. So many of us hold all of our people inside of us. Ah, can I exist? Can they exist as sovereign beings outside of me? I do not need to fix them. One of the greatest gifts I can give to anybody is to resource myself to be steady in myself and show up as a steady other even when somebody else is having a hard time.
Sarah Tacy [00:27:03]:
I know for me this could be the biggest gift a parent or a friend could give to me, to be able to meet me where I am without losing their center. Because this is a podcast, and because I often end my mini musings with a show me statement, I might say show me what it's like to slow down enough that I can move at the pace and the wisdom of my body that I get to be with the frustration possibly of how slow my body might move, but the recognition that like soil that is well fertilized and tended to, that as my body gets its needs method, as it becomes more rich, what grows in it grows healthier and faster and with more possible precision and beauty. May I remind myself that this is a practice, that I will fall into faulty patterns, but even as I say faulty, I see the right or wrong. May I stay curious. May I stay humble. May I continue the practice of recognition of self without losing the importance of interdependence, the mycelium network of weaving with community and knowing that the deeper care and integrity I have within myself, the more nourishing and true and authentic I can be when I weave into my community and that possibly, possibly, possibly by being my truest self, I might act as inspiration or permission for another to do the same. And may I be inspired by others taking a full inhale and a full exhale. Blessings.
Sarah Tacy [00:29:47]:
Thank you for tuning in. It's been such a pleasure. If you're looking for added support, I'm offering a program that's totally, totally free called 21 Days of Untapped Support. It's pretty awesome. It's very easy. It's very helpful. You can find it at SarahTacy.com and if you love this episode, please subscribe. And like, apparently it's wildly useful, so we could just explore what happens when you scroll down to the bottom.
Sarah Tacy [00:30:18]:
Subscribe rate, maybe say a thing or two. If you're not feeling it. Don't do it. It's totally fine. I look forward to gathering with you again. Thank you so much.